


In Violation Of The Bro Code

by thecrazyhairdo (givemepizza)



Category: ATEEZ (Band), EXO (Band), GOT7, Monsta X (Band), NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), Super Junior
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Banter, Conflicted Choi Youngjae, Conflicted Im Jaebeom, Crossover Pairings, Crushes, Everyone is in their late 20s age-wise, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Multiple Pairings, POV Alternating, Romance, Sooo much love and tooth-rotting fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 52,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22611538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemepizza/pseuds/thecrazyhairdo
Summary: To put it simply, Youngjae is Jaebeom’s best friend Mark’s ex-boyfriend from college. That’s why it’s technically wrong on so many levels that  Jaebeom and Youngjae have had a crush of each other since their college days, since as far back as when Youngjae was still dating Mark. After college, Jaebeom moved away, but now he is back in Seoul, he is single, Youngjae is also single, they still like each other, and well.... you can't choose who you love. A lot of guilt and internal conflict ensues.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jongwoon | Yesung/Kim Ryeowook, Park Chanyeol/Kim Yerim | Yeri, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang, Park Sooyoung | Joy/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 58
Kudos: 86





	1. The Code: Do not date your best friend's ex

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. That 2jae chaptered story i promised is finally here. This story is a bit of a slow burn, but only because the main characters are conflicted. I promise a lot of fluff as well as romance and cute banter. I know it sounds like the characters are many, but not really. I'll give each couple a bit of a satisfying romantic moments and story line.  
> Lastly, i hope you'll enjoy this love story's journey of two people who aren't supposed to like each other so much only fall deeper in love with each other.  
> I'll update this story Friday or Saturday every week or two max

“Youngjae?”

In the middle of the canned food isle, Youngjae is trying to decide between two brands of tinned baked beans when someone calls out his name. Whirling around toward the direction the voice just came from, Youngjae finds someone standing there. For a few moments he just stares blankly and then his jaw drops as he is hit with recognition.

“J-jaebeom hyung?” Youngjae breathes in shock, his heart rate picking up pace instantly at the sight of an old friend from college and probably the biggest crush Youngjae has ever had in his entire life.

“Hi, Jaebeom greets, clutching on to his shopping cart. He knows he is probably smiling like an idiot, but it can’t be helped. He’s been hoping to naturally run into Youngjae here in Seoul one day, but didn’t think it would ever happen. 

“Hi.” Youngjae replies, fully turning towards Jaebeom now to give him his full attention. It’s at this moment that he takes in the whole of Im Jaebeom in his handsome glory. Maybe it’s because no one ever really looks good in past times thanks to advancing trends, but Youngjae thinks Jaebeom looks a whole lot better now than back when they knew each other in school.

Gone are the ripped jeans, the T-shirts with naughty messages on them, the blonde hair and the sneakers. Jaebeom looks more mature and sophisticated now with his neat dress pants, button down shirt and long trench coat. His (now) dark hair looks longer than Youngjae has ever seen and it’s neatly styled with a part down the middle so that it falls to either side of his head. Jaebeom looks like an actual accountant, but Youngjae certainly isn’t complaining. Jaebeom looked great before and he looks great now. “I didn’t know you were back in town.” Youngjae speaks up again, scrambling to fill the silence that’s quickly becoming awkward.

“I’ve only been back for 4 few months. I run my own wealth management service now. I worked for my company for a long time and did some growing. It was time to start my own thing.”

“That’s amazing. Congratulations.”

“Thanks. What’s going on with you? Are you a practicing psychologist now?”

“Yeah. I have a practice at a hospital. I’m in the middle of furthering my education so that I can start a private practice someday.”

“That sounds good. I’m glad you’re doing well for yourself.”

“Thanks.”

They fall into a silence during which Jaebeom steals a moment to give Youngjae a quick once over and appreciate how good he looks. He still looks as cute as ever despite the aura of maturity he has now. Youngjae gained a little weight and he styles his hair a little differently nowadays and Jaebeom swears that’s that has changed. His eyes are still warm and optimistic with enthusiasm, his smile is still bright and he still has his perfect set of teeth. It must be Youngjae’s day off today since he is wearing jeans and a sweater. He looks great.

Jaebeom never forgot Youngjae for a single second and he has desperately been trying to get back in touch with him. The social media option has always been open of course but there was no way to contact Youngjae and not cause a fracas.

To put it simply, Youngjae is Jaebeom’s best friend Mark’s ex-boyfriend. That’s why it’s technically wrong on so many levels that Jaebeom has had a crush on Youngjae for years now and has been actively trying to contact him. That’s also why even though Jaebeom found out when he got back To Seoul that Mark and Youngjae are still raising their pet dog together and were still very much in touch, it’s been impossible for Jaebeom to satisfy his curiosity about what Youngjae is up to these days. Jaebeom has been dying to know how Youngjae is, to see him, but he can’t just simply ask Mark so many questions without raising eyebrows.

Even now, Jaebeom shouldn’t be thinking about keeping in touch with Youngjae no matter how glad he is to finally see him again. Yet when Jaebeom opens his mouth again to speak, exactly the opposite of what he should be doing is what tumbles out, “we should hang out some time, if you don’t mind.”

Youngjae’s smile is threatening to split his face in two. “I’d love to catch up. Is tomorrow too soon? We can have lunch together or something.”

“Sounds great.”

“May I have your number?”

“Sure.”

*********

Jaebeom is literally hyperventilating when he gets home to his other best friend Jinyoung’s apartment. “I agreed to have lunch with Youngjae.” He says to Jinyoung who is causally seated on the sofa and surfing through TV channels. Probably sensing that a juicy story is coming on, Jinyoung puts the remote control down and pats the space beside him on the couch, inviting Jaebeom to sit. He waits until Jaebeom puts his shopping bags on the floor beside the couch and takes the seat offered and then he asks, “Calm down and tell me what happened, slowly please.”

While taking deeps breathes to try and calm down, Jaebeom appreciates Jinyoung’s never ending patience. “Okay, I met Youngjae at the grocery store-”

“The same Youngjae you had a crush on while he dated Mark?”

“The very one.”

“well that’s exciting, isn’t it? All you’ve talked about for forever now is is your hopes of seeing Youngjae again.”

“I didn’t think it would ever happen. When I met him today, I was so ready yet not ready at all.”

“I don’t think you can ever really be ready for something like that, but anyway tell me more about this lunch the two of you have tomorrow.”

“We had a little small talk and then out of nowhere I blurted out the offer, Youngjae said yes and here we are.”

“So you are panicking right now through all fault of your own?” Jinyoung chuckles, amused by how ridiculously silly his friend is being. Jaebeom is too preoccupied with his problems to take offense. In fact Jaebeom doesn’t even notice when he launches into gushing about how good Youngjae looked at the supermarket.

“He had the cutest sweater on. His skin looked softer and paler than I remember. I think he gained a little weight too.” Jaebeom smiles dreamily. “I don’t know how he can look younger after years have gone by. I think my heart stopped when I saw him.”

“wow. Sounds like he got dreamier.” Jinyoung is grinning as he asks, “Please tell me you didn’t embarrass yourself in front of him.”

Jaebeom groans and drops his head on his friend’s shoulder, shamelessly snuggling. “I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t embarrass myself in front of a crush.”

“So, have you thought about what seeing Youngjae again entails?”

“Not really.”

“Let me rephrase. Are you going to date him?”

“I can’t. I’ll be the dick that still has a crush on his friend’s man.”

“Tell him your feelings are recent.”

“That doesn’t make it any better. I don’t want Youngjae to think of me as the desperate dude the tries to hit on his friend’s ex.”

Jinyoung chuckles and fondly ruffles Jaebeom’s hair, “how loyal of you. I’m a proud best friend.” he pauses for a beat and then asks, “So what will you do then?”

“I have no idea.”

“Any plans to keep seeing each other after tomorrow’s lunch?”

“I hope so, but I’m not sure Youngjae will want to continue hanging out with me. On top of that, he could already be seeing someone else. I don’t know that he is single. Actually I doubt he is single. Why would someone like that be single?!”

“Don’t start stressing already. One day at a time. For now let yourself enjoy the fact that your long time crush is back in your life.”

Jaebeom grins, “I guess you’re right.” His mind wonders off thinking about Youngjae. He’s not sure how long he’s been at it when Jinyoung nudges him and successfully pulls him from his thoughts.

“hm?” Jaebeom turns towards Jinyoung, who now looks rather solemn.

“I think I’m going to break up with Jackson.”

Jaebeom just regards his friend for a little while, waiting for him to say more. The mood has drastically changed suddenly. Gone is the bright Jinyoung from just a second ago and has been replaced with a sad and pensive version of him. Jinyoung must have been gloom from the moment Jaebeom came home. Jaebeom berates himself for being so hung up over Youngjae that he didn’t notice his friend’s anguish.

When it becomes clear that Jinyoung won’t say any more, Jaebeom answers, “Is it the distance?”

“I just can’t anymore. I think I deserve better.”

“You do, but Jackson will be crushed.”

“Yeah.” Jinyoung lets out a shaky breath

“I read the news articles you forwarded to me, the ones about people spreading malicious comments about Jackson’s record label. He must be having a hard time right now.”

“He is and I hate to end things with him at a time like this, but there is never a right time to breakup with someone. I have to do it.”

It appears Jinyoung has made up his mind, so Jaebeom decides to give up trying to discourage him. Instead he asks, “Are _you_ okay?”

“No.” Jinyoung’s voice cracks and he drops his head on Jaebeom’s shoulder.

Jaebeom wraps his arm around Jinyoung shoulders and gives him a comforting squeeze. “”you’ll be okay, both you and Jackson.”

********

Youngjae gets home and takes his groceries to the kitchen to pack them up their designated places. He is still positively buzzing with excitement and can’t stop smiling because he can’t stop thinking about his encounter with Jaebeom earlier. Just as he is about to start taking the groceries out, his dog Coco rushes into the room and greets him with excitement, pawing at his feet and eagerly looking up at him.

“Hey, honey.” Youngjae coos, leaning down to pick his baby up. He kisses her on the head and scratches under her chin. “How was your day, hm? Are you doing okay? I hope you weren’t scared here by yourself”

Coco’s sitter Minho had an emergency and had to leave earlier than usual this evening. Minho’s shift is supposed to end when Youngjae gets home between 6PM and 7PM. 

Youngjae does a bit more cooing until his phone vibrates in his trousers pocket and interrupts him. Putting Coco down, Youngjae reaches into his pocket and takes out his phone. It’s his little sister calling.

“Hey, cute Oppa.” Yerim says the moment Youngjae answers, even before he says anything.

“What do you need, Yerim?” Youngjae drawls, smiling fondly as he walks to his living area, Coco in tow.

“Can’t a girl call her beloved brother on a Thursday evening?”

Yougnjae and his sister are very close indeed, so much so that Youngjae knows when she is hiding something or trying to get something from him. 

“Again, what do you need?” he sits down on his couch and Coco jumps into his lap and lies down in position for Youngjae to pet her, which he does.

She sighs, “Alright I need someone to go to the farmers market with tomorrow afternoon.” With more cheer to her voice, she goes to explain. “Chan oppa is making me a home-made pizza tomorrow night, so I need to buy ingredients.”

“Then go to the market with him.”

“He is using his lunch hour to work on his art this week.”

“What art?”

“Painting.”

“An interior designer who is also a guitarist, a singer, a rapper, a music producer and now a painter- wow.”

“He is trying his hand at art as well nowadays.”

“What can’t your boyfriend do?”

“He is a man of many talents.” There is pride dripping from Yerim’s words. “So you’ll come to the market with me?”

“I have plans.”

“Dropping by your place to check on Coco?”

“Excuse me. I have a life.” Youngjae quickly jumps to his own offence. His completely non-existent social life doesn’t particularly bother him, but it’s also true that he wants to appear cool in front of his sister. It’s a big brother thing.

Sadly Yerim knows Youngjae as well as he knows her, so she sees right through his lies.

“No you don’t.” she chuckles like the very idea of Youngjae knowing some people is hilariously impossible.

“Actually I have a date.” The words fall out of his mouth before he can stop them, and he instantly regrets it because Yerim won’t leave him alone about this until he has given her all the details.

He holds the phone away from his ear to steer clear of Yerim’s deafening cheer on the line.

“Oh my God, oh my God. Finally. Who is the guy?”

Youngjae shyly ruffles the hair at the back of his head and tries not to blush as if Yerim is in the room with him. Sometimes it feels like she is since she knows him so well.

“Well it’s not a real date. We just made plans for lunch.”

“But you like the guy, right? I can tell. Who is he? Do I know him?”

“It’s kind of embarrassing for me talking to you about this.”

“But I’m your sweet little sister who loves you very much and who just wants to see you happy.” Each word is imploringly dripping with cuteness. Youngjae smiles, actually able to picture the cute smile she must be wearing on her face.

Of course Yerim pulls the cute little sister card on him, knowing full well that he can’t resist it.

“Okay fine. I met Jaebeom Hyung at the grocery store earlier.”

“Shut up! The Im Jaebeom whom you had a crush on the entire time you dated his friend? The one you still have a crush on.”

“That’s the one.”

Yerim screams again, more gleefully this time and Youngjae’s left eye twitches at the assault. “Is he back in town?” she asks, finally taking mercy upon Youngjae’s hearing

“He says he is back for some work. We agreed to have lunch tomorrow afternoon.”

“You are slick sliding in a date already. I’m so proud of you.” Yerim fake sniffs.

“It’s probably not a date. I’m sure he is just being nice meeting up with me.”

“You never know.”

“I dated his friend. He doesn’t seem like the type to ignore the bro code.”

“You are overthinking. Have lunch with him tomorrow and see how that goes. If he is awkward and weird towards you then there might be no hope, but if the lunch goes well, I say you should go all in and pursue that.”

“I don’t know, Yerim. I don’t want him to think I’m the unscrupulous asshole that tries to hit on him after getting dumped by his friend. Plus, he might already be dating someone else.”

“Oppa, try to look on the bright side for once, and stop overthinking.”

“Overthinking is all I do.”

“Okay how about you have that lunch and tell me how it goes then I’ll guild you from there. Deal?”

Youngjae sighs in relief, feeling some of his anxiety melt away, “where would I be without you.”

“aww I love you too, Oppa. Gotta go now. I need to find another friend to drag to the farmers’ market.”

*********

By 9PM, Youngjae has cooked dinner, eaten, showered and now he is ready to skype his good Japanese friend Yuta with whom he plays video games every weekend.

Youngaje and Yuta go way back to their university days where they were both part of the same music club. Yuta was a Japanese exchange student studying the veterinary sciences. Thanks to Yuta’s bright enthusiasm, warmth and friendliness, they became fast friends and often played video games, ate and hanged out together. About a year after University, Yuta went back to his homeland of Japan, but he and Youngjae have remained close friends. They skype each other as often as possible to chat.

Lying on his side on his bed, Youngjae places his laptop on the right side of the bed beside a dozing Coco. He flips the laptop open and makes the call.

Yuta’s face appears on the screen not long after. “Hi.” he waves at the screen, his smile as big and warm and kind as always

“Hi. How was the interview?” Youngjae asks. Yuta recently decided he can’t stand one more day of being a Vet because it has never been an interest of his. Over the past half a year or so, he has been trying to get into some Japanese colleges to major in sports which are his real passion. Back when Yuta graduated high school, he voiced that passion out to his parents, but they felt he could _do better_ than sports.

“I’m confident about this one. The reception was amazing.”

“I’m happy to hear that. You’ve been training hard.”

“Fingers crossed. What’s up with you?”

“Actually, something great happened to me today.”

Yuta leans back in his chair, to sit more comfortably, “Do tell.”

“I met Jaebeom hyung at the supermarket earlier.”

Yuta sits up instantly, his jaw almost hitting the floor, “no way. Your ultimate crush? Coco’s future step dad?”

“That’s the one.” It’s hard for Youngjae not to mirror Yuta’s huge smile.

“That’s great. What now? Did you at least get his number so you guys can hang out later or something?”

“We have lunch together tomorrow.” Apparently there is a way Youngjae says it that makes Yuta frown.

“Isn’t that great news?”

“It is, but…..”

“I’ll stop you right there.” Yuta is suddenly serious and stern. He looks pointedly at the camera, “this is a good thing, so we won’t dampen it with worries and doubts. Whatever happens after that will be dealt with when it happens. Just be happy that Jaebeom Hyung is back in town. A step at a time, okay?”

Youngjae sucks in a deep breath to calm himself and he nods. His friend is probably right. What’s the point of tiring himself with worries and anxiety when nothing has ever happened yet? It’s better to spend his energy and focus on his lunch date with Jaebeom tomorrow.

“You’re right. First let’s see how lunch tomorrow goes.”

“Are you ready?”

“Not at all.”

“Yuta laughs. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. I’ve never known you to have any trouble with dating.”

“I’m sort of out of practice these days. Between school and work, I haven’t been able to date recently.”

“That’s true.” Yuta sympathises.

“What’s more, Jaebeom hyung is my suture husband, so you can imagine.”

“No need to imagine. I remember how back in Uni you turned into a red-faced stuttering mess whenever he was around.”

“That is such a lie. Shut up!” Youngjae feels his cheeks get hot from embarrassment. Gosh he was such an idiot back then. It was a true miracle that his boyfriend never noticed anything.

“Seriously though, relax. Your date will go well. Simply chill, be yourself and try not to enter psychologist mode. It’s not sexy when you dissect people’s mental state.”

Youngjae doesn’t even get offended by Yuta’s remark because he knows his friend is only looking out for him. Youngjae has lost several dates because sometimes he can’t help but mindlessly talk about his dates’ mental health statuses. “Got it. I’ll keep that in mind.” He says and then smoothly changes the subject. “How is Sana?”

The very mention of Yuta’s crush has him smiling so hard, somehow even harder than his usual. That’s a lot of smiling

“She is fine. I was actually talking to her before you called. She got her first contract to design 1930s outfits for a high school drama club project. Isn’t that great?” Yuta is beaming with elation and pride talking about Sana’s recently found success. Maybe his eyes are even brighter than when he talks about soccer and basketball. Youngjae never thought he would see the day when Yuta would have another passion other than sport.

Yuta met Sana at a mutual friend’s barbeque a few months ago and has been crushing on her ever since.

Youngjae smiles at how cute and animated Yuta gets whenever Sana comes up, wondering if this is what he gets like when he talking about Jaebeom.

“It is great. Tell her I said hi and congratulations. Any progress with actually asking her out?” 

Yuta’s smile falls. “No.”

“Cheer up. I’m sure you still have a shot. She likes you too.”

“I still think that’s your imagination.”

“I’m good with these things. Trust me on this one.”

One time last month, Sana was at Yuta’s place, visiting and he convinced her to say hi to me when I skpye called him as usual without the knowledge that he had company. Sana was very shy when she came on the screen to say hi and it only lasted about a minute, but even then I could tell she liked Yuta a little bit at least. There was a way she smiled shyly when he talked to her as she signed off.

Yuta looks uncertain right now though, but he nods anyway looking like he is just desperate for any encouragement he can get. “I’m saving up to take her to Osaka. She wants to visit there someday.”

“That’s sweet. I think Sana will appreciate that.”

“I hope so.”

********

It feels like the next day has arrived too soon for Youngjae because he is so not ready for his lunch with Jaebeom. There aren’t enough patients this morning to keep his mind off Jaebeom.

“Is this about your special lunch this afternoon?” Youngjae’s assistant, Joy asks when Youngjae nearly drops the cup of tea she just brought for him. It’s the third time this morning, so it’s only understandable that Joy is concerned. What surprises Youngjae though is how his assistant knows that there is a special lunch involved.

“How do you know that?”

Joy rolls her eyes impatiently and takes a seat across Youngjae, bracing her arms at his desk and looking fully invested in what is apparently about to become a conversation. “Of course Yerim told me.”

Oh. Of course indeed. Youngjae doesn’t even know why he is asking. After all he has been suffering from a total lack of privacy for a year since his little sister’s best friend became his assistant. There is no point in denying anything either. Joy won’t leave him alone until he spills everything. She and Yerim are best friends for a reason.

Youngjae gives up trying to drink his tea and pushes it aside with a sigh. “My crush from college is back in town.”

Joy suddenly pouts. “I don’t know why I’m only hearing about this guy now. Yerim tells me you’ve been very vocal about your crush all along.” She complains.

“It’s embarrassing. I begged Yerim not to tell too many people about it, but I should have known that eventually she would tell her best friend.”

“She couldn’t help herself. She is excited that the guy is back in town and that you have a chance now.”

“I don’t know about a chance just yet. Maybe Jaebeom hyung is seeing someone.”

“Maybe and maybe not. We are hoping for the best here.”

“I’m so nervous about today.”

“I can tell.” Joy is looking upon Youngjae with pity now. “The good news is that there is nothing about your life to be ashamed about. You’re doing fine here.”

“I feel so out of my game. First I was stuck in that huge custody battle over Coco and then I’ve been busy raising her, so I haven’t really dated anyone seriously in a long time. Jaebeom hyung is someone I’m very serious about.”

“Let me just stop you there, boss.” Joy cuts Youngjae off, giving him an odd look. “This is no time to sell yourself short. You are a handsome and nice guy. That’s enough. Whoever doesn’t appreciate that isn’t someone you should bother with. Just relax and go with the flow. I’m sure you guys will hit it off.”

Youngjae feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest and he smiles in appreciation. “Thanks, Joy. I needed to hear that.”

“See now aren’t you grateful for having a gossip such as Yerim for a sister?”

“No, because I bet her boyfriend will be calling me next to give moral support.” Youngjae makes a face just imagining that.

Joy laughs at his agony though, visibly enjoying herself. “We all just love you. I promise.”

********

Jaebeom and Youngjae arrive at the outdoor restaurant and take their seats across from each other.

Youngjae sighs and tugs at his face mask, sliding it away from his mouth and then he braces his forearms on the table and smiles at Jaebeom.

Jaebeom can’t help getting a little shy as smiles back because Youngjae is smiling so sweetly at him and looking incredibly warm and welcoming. Maybe it’s the four years that have passed since Jaebeom saw Youngjae up close, but he doesn’t remember Youngjae ever looking this good. Clad in comfortable looking soft jeans and a baby blue sweater, Youngjae is glowing with his smooth skin and now fuller cheeks.

“It’s really good to see you again.” Jaebeom says.

“Same. I’m glad you invited me out. The weather is so nice today.” Youngjae tips his chin up to briefly admire the blue sky before his gaze slides back to Jaebeom. “I’m glad I’m not wasting this time eating a vending machine lunch at the office.”

“I thought you might like an outdoorsy place like this. You once mentioned it back in the day.”

Youngjae’s heart melts at the fact that Jaebeom still remembers the tiny details about him. “You haven’t forgotten.”

“Of course not.” Jaebeom’s voice is soft.

Youngjae’s smile widens delightfully, but he doesn’t say anything. Out of habit, he pulls his lower lip between his teeth, drawing Jaebeom’ attention to tiny movement.

It’s silly, but Jaebeom feels like he missed even this tiny detail about Youngjae. He chuckles and quite literally shakes his head at himself for being so ridiculously soft for Youngjae.

Youngjae throws him a look of askance, but Jaebeom dismisses it and says something else instead, “shall we look at our menus. What are you in the mood to eat?”

Youngjae breezily lets Jaebeom change the subject and picks up his menu.

“A chicken salad sounds good.” Youngjae mutters to himself mostly.

“Oh I’ve had that here. It’s great.”

You’ve been here before?”

“Yeah. I came with-” Jaebeom stops abruptly, realising too late that he visited here with Mark, and that’s a name he doesn’t want to bring up here today.

“With…?”

“Jinyoung.” Jaebeom lies through his teeth with a tentative smile and he goes back to browsing through the menu menu.” He decides on the roasted pork sandwich while Youngjae sticks to his sticky spice chicken salad.

After they make their food order, Jaebeom orders a lemon-lime drink while Youngjae orders some orange juice for while they are waiting for the food. Their drinks arrive in a minute after which they jump back into conversation.

“Six years is a while. What have you been up to?” Youngjae rests his chin on his palm, giving Jaebeom his full attention.

Jaebeom’ lips part to speak, but nothing comes out and then he freezes, not certain where to start. “A lot.” He meekly replies and takes a sip of his drink through the straw.

Youngjae seems to understand Jaebeom’s predicament, “how was life in Ulsan?” He helpfully supplies and smiles at the way Jaebeom’ eyes light up when the subject comes up.

Jaebeom really does look great, Youngjae thinks. Maybe he looks a little tired and definitely older, but that doesn’t take much away from his allure. Youngjae also feels that Jaebeom’ aura seems different. He isn’t as cocky and stand-offish as he once was. There is an air of a little more care and warmth wafting around him. He seems almost goofy but also slightly lonesome. Youngjae can’t stop himself from wondering how Jaebeom has really been.

“Good.” Jaebeom says, smoothly cutting off Youngjae’s thoughts. He is smiling when he adds, “My social life suffered a lot because accounting is such a taxing job, but I got into basketball with some workmates and we often played pool together over beers after work.”

“Sorry, but I can’t imagine you playing sports. You were so bad at that back in Uni.” Youngjae teasingly replies with a huge grin

“Trust me, I surprised myself too.” Jaebeom laughs, not at all offended.

“What else did you do?”

“I ate.” Jaebeom says humorously. “Restaurant hopping is my thing.”

“I love food too. We should play some time.” Youngjae easily and thoughtlessly replies, only realising too late that he has just asked Jaebeom to do something together again. A tiny part of him starts to panic and regret his forwardness, but he sees no such emotions in Jaebeom’s warm eyes. In fact Youngjae looks happy with the invitation and that’s all Youngjae needs to thwart the anxiety threatening to consume him.

“Sure. I’d like that.” Jaebeom has to pause for his heart to still a bit first before he carries on. “Actually I’ve been looking forward to getting back in touch with the restaurants here.”

“In that case I’ll be happy to keep you company.” Youngjae beams. His face feels so warm that he momentarily contemplates pressing his glass of cool orange juice to his cheeks. He just takes a good number of sips instead.

“And you? What do you do apart from helping people? Do you still play games?”

“Of course. Sadly that’s what most of my social life consists of- playing games with my Japanese friend.”

“Yuta?”

“That’s right.” Youngjae can’t hide how surprised he is that Jaebeom remembers his friends. “He went back to Japan, but we are still close.”

“That’s nice.”

“Other times I just hang out with my sister and her boyfriend.”

“And your… own boyfriend?” Jaebeom tentatively slots in the question that hasn’t stopped niggling at him for a second, and he sure hopes he doesn’t sound too nosy or too eager.

“I’m not…. I don’t… there isn’t….” Youngjae trails off the calm the fuck down. He doesn’t understand why the question has knocked him so out of kilter. It’s good to let Jaebeom know he is single, right? Then again Youngjae doesn’t want to appear like he is the undesirable single guy.

The longer Youngjae stays quiet, the more uneasy Jaebeom gets. “Can I take it that that means no?” he asks just to be clear.

Youngjae sighs and just comes clean.” There was someone. It has seen 7 months since. Things didn’t work out.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Jaebeom really hopes that the joy unfurling inside him isn’t showing on his face because gosh he is so over the moon right now.

“And yourself? Did you leave someone back in Ulsan?” Youngjae fires the question back at Jebeom because he is also dying of curiosity.

“I was in a serious relationship back in Ulsan, and it was as problematic as it was serious. Let’s just say my moving to Seoul was the perfect excuse we both needed to cut ties and move on.”

“That sounds heavy.”

Jaebeom shrugs. “It’s in the past.”

 _Past_. What a nice word, Youngjae is thinking while his heart does a victory dance.

Their food finally arrives and they happily start digging in.

Their conversation over the meal is merely a bit of reminiscing on their old days in school but mostly a slightly more in-depth account of what each of them has been up to recently. Jaebeom mentions that he hasn’t yet come around to looking for a place of his own, so he is staying with Jinyoung. Youngjae talks a bit about the psychology master’s degree he is currently pursuing and how stressful his second year is compared to how the first one was. He also tells Jaebeom exactly where he is working and what it’s like to be an actual psychologist at a bustling hospital.

While they are on the topic of stress, Jaebeom naturally also shares his challenges with what he calls babysitting wealthy people’s money and the challenges of helping spoiled trust fund babies not blow all their money over a one weekend vacation.

When their table is cleared, they order ice cream for dessert and talk more about pretty much anything that comes to mind.

Youngjae pats himself on the back for doing a great job here today. He didn’t even go into psychology mode at any point. “I’m glad we did this. I can see us doing this again.” Youngjae says, toying with his tiny plastic spoon. His heart is thudding so hard in his chest as he waits with bated breath for Jaebeom’s response.

Jaebeom smiles brightly, feeling like his chest might explode from sheer glee. “Me too. We should definitely hang out again really soon.”

 _I missed you._ The words hang heavily in the air, unsaid.


	2. Guilty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. Happy valentines day. chapter 2 is here. I hope it's something that'll put a smile on your faces<3 so far your support is overwhelmingly beautiful. thank you so much<3<3<3

Every part of Youngjae is telling him that spending time with Jaebeom is a bad idea and it means trouble, but he sends the text anyway because his yearning heart take precedence over all the other warning signs.

_Youngjae: Movie tomorrow night?_

Nervously chewing on his left thumb nail, Youngjae waits with baited breathe for a response, his heart beating so fast.

_Jaebeom: Sure. Let’s do that._

Youngjae lives alone and answers to no one, so he jumps up and down on his couch in pure glee when the reply comes. He knows that a romantic relationship- which he wants- with Jaebeom is practically unattainable, but he refuses to wallow in misery and worry. It’s better to enjoy whatever time he’ll get to spend with Jaebeom.

********

Movie night with Jaebeom the next evening goes extremely well for Youngjae. Long after leaving the cinema, they both can’t stop talking about how great _Bad Boys for life_ was.

The walk from the cinema to a steakhouse Youngjae suggests is not long, so they leave their cars parked near the cinema and just walk to the steakhouse to enjoy some fresh air as well as get a bit of exercise. That’s Youngjae’s suggestion after Jaebeom complains about being stuck in his office chair all day today. 

“Is that all you’re getting?” Jaebeom is surprised at Youngjae’s order for roast chicken and a side salad

“I can only handle so much after eating so many snacks while watching the movie.”

“I hope your stomach is feeling okay?!”

“Yes I’m fine thanks.”

The lighting in the restaurant is a little on the dim side, and sitting in the corner at a small table allows for private intimate conversation. Youngjae can’t help appreciating the the romantic ambiance right now. Since everything is so perfect, He allows himself to imagine that he is on a date with Jaeebom. There is no harm if Jaebeom doesn’t know.

He wonders how Jaebeom would react if Youngjae took him to a romantic 5-star restaurant. It’s been years already since college and since Youngjae had that huge crush on Jaebeom, yet here he is still fantasising about doing dreamy stuff with the same guy like a teenager in love. It’s almost ridiculous. How hard can it be to get over someone, Youngjae wonders? 

Jaebeom’s steak and Youngjae’s chicken arrive and everything just looks divine. Jaebeom’s well-done eye of round steak nearly makes Youngjae regret his choice. Without wasting another second, they both start digging in. Jaebeom orders them a bottle of red wine to go with the meal.

“Honestly I’m surprised you enjoyed _bad boys for life_. Back in the day I heard that you were more into romance films such as titanic.” Youngjae says, inviting some conversation to the table after they’ve been eating in silence for too long. The silence isn’t exactly weird or anything. He just prefers to talk.

“I think my tastes changes over the years.” Jaebeom doesn’t know why but he feels so embarrassed hearing this from Youngjae. “I owned a few romantic films on my computer, but I’ve never been …that into romantic. At least I don’t think so.”

“That’s a little disappointing. I was looking forward to all the chick-flicks you’d make me watch with you.”

Jaebeom gets all flustered. “Okay that was a rumour I’ve never been into chick flicks.”

“I know.” Youngjae laughs. “I’m only messing with you. So what kind of person are you these days?”

“I’m always tired, so I reline at home a lot. I guess I got boring with time.”

“I disagree. You’re still very fun to hang out with.” Youngjae isn’t even dating Jaebeom but he can confidently say that hanging out with Jaebeom tonight is a lot more exciting than some dates Youngjae has been on recently. Of course Youngjae can’t rule out the fact that all this enjoyment could be owed to his huge crush on Jaebeom.

“That’s nice to hear. Thanks.” Jaebeom smiles, flattered.

********

The weeks that follow continue to see Jaebeom and Youngjae spending more and more time together despite their demanding jobs. On weekdays when they can only meet in the evening after a tiring day at work, they settle for dinner, evening coffee, seeing a musical, going to the movies, going to the mall and other laid-back stuff. Weekends provide them the time they need to do stuff that actually gets their blood flowing like the time they went paintballing and the other time they went to Monsta X concert.

It’s another Saturday night but this time Jaebeom suggests they just take it easy and do something more on the calm side, a proposal that Youngjae is remarkably quick to accept.

“Was the paintballing too much?” Jaebeom asks, already grinning even before Youngjae replies. They are talking while slowly leisurely walking along the walkways among the stands at the night market, stopping every now and again to take a closer look at the merchandise or to try different kinds of spiced foods, and desserts. 

Jaebeom is supposed to be out playing pool with Jinyoung and Mark, but he cancelled on them, saying he has a date with someone. Suspicious as always, Mark asked why Jaebeom is suddenly being discrete about whom he is seeing lately. Tnakfully Jinyoung came to Jaebeom’s rescue, telling Mark to give Jaebeom some space.

Jaebeom truly feels awful about lying to Markand roping Jinyoung into those lies. He also is also perfectly aware of how wrong it is of him secretly spending so much time with Mark’s ex, and he has honestly been trying to avoid Youngjae, but the harder he tries to forget Youngjae, the harder it gets not to miss him. At this point it’s impossible for his mind not to randomly wonder off with thoughts of Youngjae. Sometimes he’ll be hard at work then suddenly he’ll start thinking about what fun thing to do next with Youngjae.

Sometimes when he is walking to a restaurant to have lunch, he’ll pass by a clothing store, see a sky blue fuzzy sweater through a shop window and he’ll start smiling thinking of how cute Youngjae would look in it.

This one time he and Mark went to an ice cream place together after work, Jaebeom got a blueberry cone simply because Youngjae likes blue. Admittedly Jaebeom is way in over his head and should be slowing down, but it’s far too late for that.

Other times he’ll be with other people talking and laughing but actually thinking about Youngjae’s smile, his weird sense of humour, his boisterous laughter, his warm personality and easy charm. Youngjae has a strong pull and it has Jaebeom in its grasp. At this rate Jaebeom fears he won’t be able to go back from this, whatever it is. Where it’s leading is a scary place, but here he is gently bumping shoulders with Youngjae, just shy of holding hands. God, he wants to hold Yougjae’s hand.

“What are you thinking?” Youngjae leans into Jaebeom and whispers by his ear.

The warmth of Youngjae’s breath of Jaebeom’s cold night air chilled ear startles him and he jerks back a little, looking wide-eyed at Youngjae.

Youngjae laughs, thoroughly amused. “I think I’m a bit offended, hyung. I’m here telling you how much I enjoyed Maleficent 2 and you’re spacing out?”

“Sorry.” Jaebeom bashfully says. “I was thinking about you though.”

“Really?” Youngjae brightens, his eyes glinting. “What am I doing in your thoughts?”

“Torturing me with your cuteness.”

Youngjae looks away to hide his reddening cheeks and calm his raging heartbeat. Why does Jaebeom have to make it so easy to fall harder for him?

They walk in silence for a moment until they stumble upon a place with men’s woollen sweaters. Youngjae slides his hand into Jaebeom’s and leads him towards the stand. Yes this is totally an excuse for Youngjae to hold Jaebeom’s hand because he has been dying to do so since they got here.

Meanwhile Jaebeom is taking deep breathes to make sure his heart doesn’t jump out of his chest.

“Do you wear woollen sweaters, hyung?” Youngaje asks while looking through the selection of available colours on the rack.

“I do actually.” Jaebeom spots a sky blue one and takes it off the rack, handing it to Youngjae. “Look, they have one in your favourite colour.”

Youngjae beams as he places it over his torso to picture how it would look on him.

Jaebeom grabs the same sweater but in sea green. “I think this colour is more my speed.”

“Do you like it? I’ll buy it for you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to though.”

After a moment of deliberation, Jaebeom concedes with a nod. “Then let’s ask the saleslady for an extra-large size.

Youngjae wrinkles his nose. “You look so good in fitting clothes.”

“Oversized clothes are comfortable.”

“They don’t always look good on you.”

“Your words have no weight here. You wear oversized clothes all the time and they look great on you.” 

“Alright you can have your shirt.” Youngjae allows with a laugh. He can accept this loss since he’s already bagged a compliment and a win by buying couple sweaters with Jaebeom.

After they explore a few more places including a store for gamers because Youngjae can’t resist; a candy store to give Jaebeom his sugar fix; and a sportswear shop just for the heck of it, the walking gets tiresome and Jaebeom suggests they try a sea food and cocktail bar close by. It’s a place Jaebeom has known since his cousin recommended it, and he is happy that Youngjae is his first date here.

Jaebeom hopes he isn’t being too obvious about trying to do everything he’d always imagined doing with Youngjae back in University. Sometimes Jaebeom got to hang out with Youngjae, but Mark was usually present as was only natural, and during those times Jaebeom couldn’t help wishing Mark wasn’t in the way- that he and Youngjae could go out and have fun alone.

Of course Jaebeom can’t make all those wishes come true now because for one he is a grown man and doing stuff like eating junk food at an all-you-can-eat buffet and drinking tons of beer at a local show then crashing a random party, is no longer that appealing.

Regardless, starting at a sort of different point as adults is just as great. Jaebeom still appreciates these moments and he’ll forever treasure them no matter where this whole thing leads them.

***********

“My dad liked to invite me to see the Seoul tower when I was a child, but I never saw the fascination.” Youngjae says. They are having a cosy dinner together on a different night at the n.Grill restaurant, one of the perfect viewing spots to view the Seoul Tower from.

Jaebeom tears his gaze away from the view outside to look at Youngjae with a tiny smile. “Do you see the fascination now?”

“No.”

Jaebeom’s jaw drops. “Then what’s the point of that story.”

“To tell you that this is an overrated experience, but then again it’s still better than the time you took me finishing. The terrible ramen you made was the highlight.”

“If you weren’t all the way over there, I’d smack you with my napkin.” Jaebeom half-heartedly threatens with a grin.

Youngjae laughs out loud at the threat. Of course he is only kidding. He loves doing all sorts of things with Jaebeom because Jaebeom lets’ Youngjae be himself. When they went finishing, Youngjae did such a hilariously bad job of it and all Jaebeom did was enjoy a good laugh about it. No judgement or frustration.

Youngjae can just picture what their dating life would be like and the very thought makes him giddy. It’s very easy for Youngjae to get lost in these moments about forget about Mark. To be honest he is sick of thinking about that. The more and more he falls for Jaebeom, the more the guilt over liking his ex’s friend gets pushed to the back of his mind.

Youngjae is tired of thinking and holding back. Next time they go out together, Youngjae will properly ask Jaebeom out. 

**********

Jinyoung is lying on the couch and reading a book when Jaebeom gets home after having dinner with Youngjae. “Hi.” Jaebeom tiredly mutters as he pats Jinyoung’s leg, asking him to scoot over. Jinyoung sits up to let Jaebeom sit down beside him. 

“Hey.” Jinyoung replies with a smile and carefully lays out the bookmark before closing the novel to give Jaebeom his full attention. “Where have you been?” there is something in Jinyoung’s voice that indicates he knows the answer to that question.

Jaebeom ponders for a bit, wondering whether he should humour Jinyoung and engage in this conversation. He’s not particularly in the mood for Jinyoung’s lectures, and a lecture will definitely ensue when Jaebeom admits where he’d been.

“Judging by your silence, I assume you were with Youngjae.”

Well, shame on Jaebeom for thinking that his closest friend wouldn’t be able to read into things on his own. “I _was_ with Youngjae.”

Jinyoung nods but doesn’t say anything right away and when he does, it’s surprisingly not to scold Jaebeom. “Did you have fun?” asks Jinyoung

“I did. We went to the Seoul Tower. Jackson was right, the place is nice.”

“Jackson?”

Jaebeom belatedly realises he is giving too much information. The truth is that yesterday while talking to Jackson on the phone, Jaebeom just happened to ask what Jackson thought was a nice place to take someone special. Of course Jaebeom didn’t mention that that someone special was Youngjae, “I asked Jackson what place he likes to visit in Seoul.”

“Hold on! Does Jackson know that you and Youngjae are seeing each other?”

“No. He thinks I’m dating someone.”

“So you’re lying to everyone.” Jinyoung’s facial expression hardens. “Look, It’s hard for me lying to Mark. Don’t make me lie to my boyfriend as well. I know Jackson is going ask me who you are seeing. What do you expect me to say?”

“Don’t say anything. I know I’m putting you in a tough spot, but I’ll straighten all this out soon.”

“You keep saying that right before you on other date with Youngjae.” Jinyoung retorts.

“He and I are not exactly dating.”

“so what is it then?”

“What’s what?”

“What are you two doing?”

That is a question Jaebeom asks himself a lot and he never allows himself to think as far as an answer because that’s a scary place. Deep down he probably knows the answer but doesn’t need the burden of all that guilt baring on him just yet.

Jaebeom is looking squarely at Jinyoung and he can tell what Jinyoung is thinking. He can tell Jinyoung also knows exactly what’s going on in Jaebeom’s head and what’s going on between Youngjae and Jaebeom. Perhaps that’s what makes having this conversation that much harder.

Jinyoung sighs, suddenly looking solemn. “I really don’t want this thing with you and Youngjae to ruin our friendship with Mark and Jackson. I wish I could remove myself from it all, but it’s too late for that. Please stop seeing Youngjae or tell Mark the truth. If not for the sake of your friendship with Mark then do it for my friendship with both him and Jackson.”

There is that guilt Jaebeom has been trying to avoid since this whole thing with Youngjae started. He knows it’s selfish of him to only protect his feelings, but just for a second he also wishes liking Youngjae wasn’t so wrong. He curses fate for letting Mark get to Youngjae before Jaebeom did all those years ago in college.

“I hear you.” It’s not a sufficient answer, but what Jaebeom can manage right now. Jaebeom hears Jinyoung sigh heavily beside him and it makes his chest ache some more knowing he is making his friend suffer as well.

A heavy silence settles between them for a good number of minutes until Jaebeom remembers to ask Jinyoung something important. “Have you talked to Jackson about breaking up?”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “No I haven’t.”

“Are you having second thoughts?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. Whenever I talk to him on the phone, he sounds so happy to talk to me and he says things like I’m the only ray of sunshine he has right now amidst his tumultuous career. A part of me really likes hearing that. He needs me and I like feeling needed by him. It’s like there is just no room for a breakup right now.”

“I get that.” Jaebeom says candidly 

“How should I proceed with the situation?” Jinyoung looks helplessly at his friend, desperate for answers, anything.

“I think you should stop overthinking things and focus on what makes the both of you happy right now, which is having each other.”

Jinyoung smiles then. “Over-thinking seems to be a disease in this apartment. Let’s go out to do something fun this weekend. Road trip?”

“I’m in. let’s call Mark and see if he’s free.”

“You do that. I’ll call workers to tell them it’s about time I take a damned vacation. You should probably call your cousin too.”

********

The road trip to Incheon does happen on Saturday and it’s the most fun Jinyoung, Mark and Jaebeom have had together in a long time. Mark’s surfing instructor job allows him a lot of free time, but Jinyoung’s café has recently seen a rise in pastry sales, so he’s been very busy capitalising on that while Jaebeom has been busy trying to get his wealth management business settled and well-advertised. That’s why this is only the first time they are going away together on a mini vacation since Jaebeom got back to town.

During the road trip, they eat, play games, take naps, play music and sing along, drink beer, pull into a drive-in movie theatre, stop at random places on the way just to sight-see, visit food kiosks and ice cream places.

In Incheon, they find a fancy hotel to stay at overnight and book an executive room. 

After everyone has showered and they are just lying around, Jinyoung invites Jaebeom and Mark to join him on a video call with Jackson.

“You guys suck, going on a road trip without me.” Jackson indignantly complains.

“We are the ones who should be jealous of your glamorous life over there.” Mark replies. “You are the celebrity here.”

“It’s no fun without friends.”

Jaebeom nudges Jinyoung and gives with a greasy smirk. “I think by friends he means just you.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes in agony, dreading the inevitable teasing that’s on its away. It’s so hard dating someone from the same squad.

“Yes I do miss my Nyongie.” Jackson smiles sweetly, getting Jinyoung even more flustered and embarrassed.

“Then get your ass back here as soon as possible. The quality of Jinyoung’s life reduces whenever you’re away.” Jaebeom is exaggerating of course, but it’s not a lie that Jinyoung is having a hard time because he doesn’t get to see Jackson in person for long periods of time.

“I know and I’m working on it.” Jackson says with a sad smile

“If we can find some time, we might come to you.” Mark says

“I’d like that. There are a lot of places you guys would like here.”

“Quiet places I hope. The clubbing scene isn’t as exciting as it once was back in Uni.” Jinyoung points out.

“So true.” Mark agrees. “The very thought of dancing to loud music exhausts me.”

Jackson laughs. “I was invited to one of those recently. It _was_ exhausting. I’m planning on inviting you guys to some catered events, concerts, festivals and some sight-seeing as well.”

Interest piqued Jaebeom nods in approval. “I feel like this should happen as soon as possible. How about this Christmas? Mark and I can enjoy that deal while you and Jinyoung do whatever it is you do to your heart’s content.”

“I approve this plan.” Mark grins.

“I want to go sight-seeing too.” Jinyoung protests, hating how his friends are already leaving him out

“It’s safe to say you’ll be locked up in Jackson’s apartment for days. Don’t think we’ve forgotten what happened the last time he visited here 3 weeks ago.” Jaebeom points out and Jinyoung crimsons, wishing there was a way to date in peace without his busy body friends knowing about anything.

“Shut up.” He swats Jaebeom on the arm. “I can’t wait till you start dating so that I can tease the hell out of you.”

“You read my mind, babe.” Jackson tells Jinyoung. “I have plans. We all know that Jaebeom is all kinds of cheesy when he’s in love. I can’t wait.” He grins wickedly as if already picturing some sort of punishment for Jaebeom. 

“Speaking of Jaebeom and how he desperately needs to get laid…” Mark begins. “I’m working on something at work.”

Jaebeom frowns, getting uneasy already. “What do you mean?”

Mark explains. “There a new guy at my job. He’s an intern in IT and he’s hot I tell you. JB, should I set you up with him?

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? You’re clinically single that’s why.”

“No I’m-” Jaebeom begins but stops abruptly when Jinyoung gives him a sharp nudge to the ribs.

Mark is still looking at Jaebeom with confusion, waiting for an explanation.

I mean…” Jaebeom fumbles a little. “I don’t really want to date right now. I’m preoccupied… with work.”

“Nonsense.” Jackson jumps in. “Work won’t get you laid, which you’re in desperate need of by the way. You are getting more and more uptight. That’s not right.”

Jinyoung laughs out loud. “I agree, man. You are uptight and touchy these days. A nice romance and great sex might help you relax.”

How Jaebeom wishes he were on edge because of something as simple as just being in need of a good fuck. Instead he has to deal with secretly seeing his best friend’s ex.

“I’m setting you up. That’s it.” Mark finalises and raises his hand to silence Jaebeom who is about to protest. “I don’t want to hear it. Your date is for this Friday. Prepare yourself.”

Jaebeom turns to Jinyoung for help, but that one is also just smiling and wiggling his eyebrows. Jaebeom peers down at Jackson on the phone, his last hope.

“Jackson, a little help please?”

Jackson shakes his head unapologetically. “No can do, bro. okay maybe you’re not exactly chronically single, but you’re not getting any younger and with a stressful job like yours, dating might be a good distraction from all that stress. Take it from someone who is busy all the time. Meet some people and socialise at least.”

Jaebeom knows his friends are right, especially Jackson. It’s just hard to do the right thing with Youngjae in the picture, tempting him. Jaebeom can’t say that here though because only Jinyoung knows, so he is forced to reluctantly concede. “Okay, I’ll go on this date, but no more set ups after.”

“What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t try to help you find love?” Jinyoung argues.

“Friends that respect my personal life.”

Mark chortles. “There is no such thing as privacy and secrets among best friends.”

Jaebeom tenses up instantly, a wave of guilt washing over him. “Indeed.” He says with a tight smile. He can feel Jinyoung’s pointed gaze on him and he deliberately ignores it.

********

Following his conversation with Jinyoung before the road trip, and what Mark said in Incheon about not keeping secrets from each other as friends, Jaebeom has been thinking deeply about the situation with Youngjae and perhaps he is finally seeing how selfish he has been all along. This isn’t all about him, Youngjae and how happy they are spending time together. What’s important and by far more meaningful is Jaebeom’s long friendship with Mark, Jackson and Jinyoung. Two days ago Youngjae invited Jaebeom to his office to see where he works. Jaebeom accepted because as happy as he is to get to know more about Youngjae, it’s also a great opportunity to talk to Youngjae in person about how they should put an end to their _friendship_.

What’s more, Mark did come around to setting up a date for Jaebeom with that guy from Mark’s job and that date is for this Friday evening.

A pretty young lady greets Jaebeom when he walks into the small main entrance and waiting area of the 9th floor therapist office at Banjung Jesung Private Hospital. Jaebeom instantly falls in love with her bright smile, wide eyes and soft voice.

“My name is Joy. I’m the receptionist slash secretary on this floor. You must be Mr. Im Jaebeom?”

“Yes.”

“Youngjae is expecting you. Please come this way.” Joy gestures towards a closed door right in front of them. The place is relatively smaller than he imagined, Jaebeom notes as he follows Joy to what he assumes is Youngjae’s office. Joy knocks once and they go inside after the affirmative response from inside.

Youngjae looks up from his paperwork and beams at Jaebeom. “You made it.” he rises to his feet and rounds his desk to welcome Jaebeom.

“Yeah. I brought lunch too.” Jaebeom announces with a smile, brandishing two paper bags full of goodies.

“Awesome.” Youngjae reaches out to take the bags from Jaebeom, and then he turns to Joy who has busied herself checking Jaebeom out as if to finally put a physical figure to all the stories she’s heard. For a second Youngjae’s ego puffs up with pride because of how impressed Joy looks.

Youngjae smiles, rolling his eyes fondly at her. “Joy, please bring us some tea. Thanks.”

“sure.” She says and just before she leaves, she throws Youngjae two thumbs up with a wink and a huge smile.

Youngjae turns his attention back to Jaebeom. “Welcome, hyung. I’m so glad you could make the time to have lunch with me.”

“I’m happy to be here.” Jaebeom voices out while taking in Youngjae’s office space. In one word the place is peaceful, which Jaebeom finds surprising. He’s always thought psychologists’ offices have a darker colour palette. The colour palette in here is soft, on the bright side, very pastel. Jaebeom thinks it suits Youngaje very well.

The rest is pretty cliché text book therapist office scenario, especially the furniture. Youngjae offers Jaebeom a seat on the brown leather couch to the left side of Youngjae’s work desk. There is a small table in front of the couch- where Youngjae has placed their food- and a chair for one person on the other side of the table. Jaebeom assumes this is the space Youngjae uses to council his patients.

“I have never been to a therapist’s office.” Jaebeom says when Youngjae joins him on the couch, sitting notably close. It’s a thing that happens so naturally now. Whenever they are together, they always seem to gravitate towards each other, always having at least some part of their bodies touching as if to maintain sanity.

“Really? Not even once? Well good for you.” Youngjae laughs lightly.

“Your office is brighter than I expected. No offence, but I expected a gloomier environment.”

“I had this office repainted about 7 months ago because I like to put my patients at ease and I think this kind of bright atmosphere. This room used to be clinically white.”

Jaebeom looks around again. “I feel at ease already alright. I’m sure you are great at your job.”

Youngjae smiles, definitely moved by Jaebeom’s flattery. “So, how has your day been so far?”

“Figures, figures and more figures. It’s so refreshing being here with you.” Jaebeom smoothly says and then realises he isn’t even trying to be charming but only being honest. He shouldn’t be making Youngjae blush when he is here to talk to Youngjae about putting some space between them. Staying on track is already proving difficult for Jaebeom because Youngjae just drives him all kinds of crazy.

“You can’t play video games for shit, but your company isn’t bad either. It’s good to have you here.” Youngjae quips, feeling the ever-present proximity between them and thoroughly appreciating it apart from the sheer thrill of having Jaebeom here in Youngjae’s space. This isn’t Youngjae’s house and admittedly there are a lot less personal items here, but Youngjae spends many hours in a day here living out his passion of helping others and that’s a huge part of his life as well; a part he is now showing to Jaebeom. 

It probably shouldn’t mean so much to Youngjae that Jaebeom likes his office, but is does.

“By the way, I got around to buying us two tickets for the Red Velvet concert this Friday. It was hard work.” Youngjae wipes some imaginary sweat off his brow and smiles so brightly. “I did my best to make your huge _RevLuv_ heart happy.”

Jaebeom feels like a jerk now because he completely forgot about how they’d talked about going to a red velvet concert together someday, and to make matters worse he is about to go back on his word and let Youngjae down.

Getting the words out alone is so hard for Jaebeom as his chest continues to constrict. It pains Jaebeom so much having to hurt someone as sweet and Youngjae, but it has to be done. “Friday isn’t so good for me.” He quite literally chokes out after a moment of uncomfortably long silence.

“why not?”

“I have a date.”

“Oh.” Youngjae’s face falls. He is very visibly disappointed, but doesn’t say anything further.

Youngjae feels like a rag just got pulled from under his feet. A date? Jaebeom is seeing other people? Youngjae knows they are not together and he has no right to feel so possessive over Jaebeom, yet here he is feeling so sore about having some competition.

“Yeah.”

The silence that follows is palpably thick with awkwardness and it only makes Jaebeom feel worse.

During the rest of Jaebeom’s time at Youngjae’s office, he can’t help feeling as though the mood has shifted. The atmosphere has changed so much that Jaebeom entirely fails to talk to Youngjae about them and how they should go forward with whatever relationship they have going. It seems like announcing his date for this Friday has made his position about them loud and clear.


	3. In Too Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is here. After the wonderful support i'm getting from my readers, I decided to try and complete chapter 3 and deliver a little earlier than usual. I've enjoyed reading all your comments so far and i'm deeply thankful for all the support you guys are giving me. 
> 
> This chapter introduces some more characters from ATEEZ and Monsta X. Ofcourse more will come as we proceed with the story. This chapter is a bit angsty, but nothing too bad. It's just a phase I feel is necessary to bridge the space between the point at which Jaebeom decides he is going too far with Youngjae, then tries to avoid him and the point when they realizes that's impossible.   
> In the next chapter we'll finally get to see some romance between the other couples in the story. I'm not sure though when that chapter will be ready. It's taking me some time. i trust and hope that you guys will be patient as always.
> 
> Enjoy<3

Once Jaebeom is gone, Joy rushes into Youngjae’s office to talk to Youngjae about Jaebeom. At first she animatedly babbles on about how hot he is while totally oblivious to Youngjae’s change of mood. She does however notice it when she is about to make inquiries on how Youngjae’s lunch date was.

“Boss, are you okay?” Joy goes to join Youngjae on the couch where he is still brooding.

“I’m so confused.” Youngjae mutters. I was excited about inviting Jaebeom hyung here and everything was going so well. He even liked the paint job in here. All my friends hate it.”

“Then what happened?”

“He cancelled plans with me for this Friday because he has a date on the same night. I was going to officially ask him out this Friday.”

Joy winces, “ouch.” Reaching out, she pats Youngjae’s arm in comfort.

“Maybe it’s a bit presumptuous of me but I really thought he and I had something going.”

“That’s the vibe I got when I came through here earlier.” Joy sighs. “I’m guessing none of this is easy for him since he is your ex’s best friend.”

“Sometimes I get so wrapped up in having fun with Jaebeom hyung that I forget the predicament we’re in.”

“I wish there was no predicament. You two seemed so happy having lunch together this afternoon.”

Youngjae just smiles sadly and doesn’t say anything more.

*********

The guy Mark set Jaebeom with isn’t bad at all. In fact Jaebeom can’t believe people so sweet still exist. His name is Lee Jooheon. The moment they link up at the movies, he asks to be called Jooheony because that’s what he prefers. Jooheon is just about Jaebeom’s height, and he has the cutest combination of dimples, soft plump cheeks and tiny eyes Jaebeom has ever seen.

Though Jooheon’s suave black dress pants, neat white short and red trench coat outfit contrasts sharply with his cute looks, it just fits somehow and Jaebeom ins’t complaining at all about the style. Jaebeom is glad he is dressed to impress as well tonight in his navy blue dress pants and matching jacket. He thought the full dress shirt and tie would look too serious, so he went with a white t-shirt without the suit.

“What movie should we see?” Jooheon asks while they are buying some snacks.

“What do you like?”

Jooheon pouts his lips as he wonders off in thought. Jaebeom’s gaze is instantly drawn to those lips and how endearing Jooheon looks. There is a sweet guy right in front of Jaebeom yet he can’t stop thinking of Youngjae. He misses Youngjae. They haven’t seen each other or kept in touch since the day they had lunch together at Youngjae’s office. The fact that Youngjae was upset when Jaebeom left only makes things worse. Regardless, he puts on a smile and does his best. Dating other people might be what he needs to get over Youngjae.

“Fantasy.” Jooheon finally replies and that’s how they end up choosing Maleficent II: The mistress of evil.

Jaebeom doesn’t even like fantasy films, but the experience goes rather well with Jooheon excitedly leaning towards Jaebeom every now and again to whisper about some fine points of the movie.

After the movie, they head to a ramen place nearby. They are babbling about the kind of music they like and Jooheon mentions someone by the name of Changkyun. Apparently Chankyun introduced Jooheon to the best rock music he’s ever heard. All of a sudden Jooheon falls silent and he looks at Jaebeom with such seriousness.

“Jaebeom hyung, I feel like you are a really nice person and that’s why I’d like us to keep hanging out…as friends.”

Jaebeom just stares; stark shocked that he has just been friend-zoned by his date. “Excuse me?” Maybe Jaebeom sounds a bit waspish, but that’s not his fault.

“It’s nothing wrong with you or me.” Jooheon rushes to explain and then he grimaces. “Okay the truth is that I’m already seeing someone else, the guy I just talked about. Changkyun.”

“Then how did you end up on a date with me?”

“Mark hyung is my senior at work, so it was hard for me to say no when he asked me to go on a date with his friend.”

“You couldn’t tell him you have a boyfriend?” Jaebeom feels so embarrassed and humiliated, like he is so desperate that his friends are out there forcing people to date him. All this bullshit wouldn’t be happening if he could just date Youngjae without causing a civil war.

“Technically I’m single because Changkyun and I aren’t official yet. We like each other and we’ve been hanging out but it’s nothing serious yet. I told Mark hyung I was single.”

Jaebeom is speechless as Jooheon continues looking apologetically at him.

“I’m really sorry.” Jooheon adds.

As awkward and miffed as Jaebeom feels about all this, he can’t deny the fact that he is also slightly relieved. The situation he is in with Youngjae is complicated, but Youngjae the man he wants. Jaebeom has been dating other people for years now yet he never forgot Youngjae. It was stupid of him to think this one date tonight would change something.

“Its okay, Jooheon. I understand. I’m glad you told me the truth.”

Jooheon visibly sighs in relief. “So we can continue hanging out?”

“I’d like that.”

Jaebeom doesn’t want to be so quick to say _he tried_ and then rush back to Youngjae, but well…. _he did try and he is going to go back to Youngjae._

**********

Yuta is narrating to Youngjae what a great day he had with Sana at the amusement park a few days ago. It’s Wednesday evening and they are skyping again. Youngjae ate out alone this evening because he doesn’t feel like cooking when he is in such a sour mood. Coco is lying in his arms on the bed with the laptop in front of them.

“We have a belief here in Japan that if you kiss a girl you like in the Ferris wheel, she’ll be yours forever.” Yuta is saying.

“Is that really a thing?” Youngjae is really trying to sound enthusiastic despite how heavy his chest feels.

“It is and I really wanted to kiss Sana.”

“You should have.”

Yuta sighs, cupping his cheek in his palm and resting it on his elbow. He is also lying on his bed. “I didn’t want to surprise her.”

“I also get that. However, you need to make a move already before someone else does.”

“I know. I can the perfect date planned and then I’ll really ask her out.”

Dates and plans to officially ask someone out just reminds Youngjae of the plans he had with Jaebeom for this Friday.

“Is everything alright, Jae? You’re quieter than usual.” Yuta notes

“I’m okay.” Youngjae tries for a smile, which only makes him feel worse somehow. Yuta shakes his head unconvinced.

“You’ve been all sunshine lately since your future husband came back to town, and now suddenly you’re gloomy. Is Jaebeom hyung leaving town again?”

“No, but he is seeing other people.”

“I don’t get it. I thought you two have something going.”

“I did too, but then yesterday he suddenly told me that he has a date with someone else this Friday.” Youngjae lets out a shaky sigh. “I’m so confused.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“What? No. I would have told you.”

“Thank goodness, cause that could make things far worse. it sounds like Jaebeom hyung is confused and you don’t want to be all that’s serious with someone like that. not until he makes up his mind anyway.”

“So what should I do?”

“Do you want my honest opinion?”

“That’ll be helpful, yes.”

“I think Jaebeom hyung realised that he is in too deep and he panicked. In an effort to put some space between the two of you, he decided to try dating other people.”

The weight in Youngjae’s chest only weighs deeper. “I kind of thought the same thing. The truth is I’m scared too. I just thought….” He trails off, the thick lump forming in his throat smothering whatever he’s about to say next. _I thought Jaebeom and I could weather the storm._

“Sorry to say it, but your situation is just ugly.”

“I thought you were on my side.”

“I am and I want to see the two of you happy. It’s also true that none of this will be easy for the two of you. The sooner you get your head out of the clouds, the better. If you truly want to be with that guy, you need to prepare for a battle. If not, give up now and cut ties with him.”

Yuta’s words sound so cold and harsh especially now when Youngjae is already feeling like a huge rock is crushing his heart. At the same time he is also right and all this is a lot for Youngjae to think about. Being with Jaebeom is amazing and there is nothing he wants more than to have him, but the consequences can’t be ignored. They are grown men now and they both have responsibilities ad loyalties to protect. Youngjae’s breakup from Mark wasn’t ugly.

They are not friends now, but they are very civil with each other especially because they are raising Coco together. Youngjae would hate to destroy the peace between him and Mark. More importantly he would hate to ruin Mark and Jaebeom’s friendship.

Youngjae has never had such a hard time deciding whether to be selfish or selfless. He’s always thought that selflessness is the best virtue for a man to have, but liking Jaebeom has changed a lot for him. 

Maybe it’s a good thing that Jaebeom has put this space between them right now. It hurts like hell, but it’ll give Youngjae the much needed time to think and decide what to do.

********

Jinyoung’s opens his eyes when he hears his bedroom door open and then close. This is followed by the soft sound of footsteps padding on the floor. Thereafter, someone joins him in bed and puts their arm around his waist.

Jinyoung smiles fondly. “You’re never this needy. What’s wrong?” Not that Jaebeom is unwelcome, but it’s a Wednesday night at around 11pm. They should both be sleeping if they expect to make if for work on time tomorrow.

“I miss Youngjae.” Jaebeom replies, voice muffled by Jinyoung’s pillow.

“You miss another man and you’re curling up against me?” Jinyoung scoffs. “How disloyal.”

There humor is there in Jinyoung’s comment, his voice, yet Jaebeom can’t bring himself to manage a mere smile. His chest hurts so much. The only other time he felt his way in his life was when his parents got divorced; this relentless deep searing pain in his heart that makes him want to cry all the time.

“I miss him so much.” Jaebeom whispers brokenly.

When Jinyoung told Jaebeom to stay away from Youngjae, he clearly underestimated the weight of Jaebeom’s feeling for Youngjae. Now Jinyoung feels so bad for his friend. He can’t stand seeing Jaebeom suffer like this.

Jinyoung twists and turns under the covers until he is facing Jaebeom. It’s dark so he can’t really see Jaebeom’s face, but the way Jaebeom is clutching on to Jinyoung’s pillow says it all. Jinyoung feels his heart break some more. He reaches out with his hand to caress Jaebeom’s hair in a way he always does when he comforts Jaebeom. This certainly isn’t the first time Jaebeom is crawling into Jinyoung’s bed, teary-eyed in the middle of the night. Jinyoung is certainly not a stranger to doing the same either. This kind of thing isn’t strange or embarrassing for them.

This is how their friendship is, even with Jackson and Mark. They’ve all endured a lot as friends and been there for each other in the hardest times. There are few things as precious to Jinyoung as this friendship. That’s why he is doing all he can to protect it. At the same time he kind of understands how Jaebeom has lost sight of all that. Love can make you do strange things. Jinyoung should understand that very well, what with him being stuck in a relationship with Jackson that he should have let go of ages ago. Letting go of a first love is hell.

“Ask yourself what hurts more- losing Youngjae or Mark.” Jinyoung finally speaks, whispering because it’s so quiet and he doesn’t want to disturb the serenity.

Jaebeom lifts his head to talk more directly to Jinyoung even though he can’t see his face. “I don’t know. I don’t want to know.”

“You just want to be with Youngjae.” Jiynoung finishes for him. “Well that’s not up to you. We can’t always have what we want.”

“I wish I had half your courage.”

“Courage?” Jinyoung scoffs again and retracts his hand from Jaebeom’s hair. “I can’t even break up with Jackson because I’m afraid of disturbing the balance of things.” He pauses for a moment. “I’ve grown… attached to him I guess. To you guys. Before he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend. I’m not sure we’ll just revert to being friends again after I’ve broken up with him.”

Jaebeom has been so lost in his own head and his own problems that he shamelessly forgot about Jinyoung’s struggles. Regardless, he is not too far gone to sympathise. “I understand what you’re saying, but it’s also not fair that you’re suffering like this. We are all afraid of the consequences of our actions, but at some point you’re going to have to talk to Jackson about this.”

“You’re right.” Jinyoung sighs deeply. Now he’s the one getting teary-eyed. This is so damn pitiful- two friends lying in bed and holding back tears over matters of the heart. Jinyoung is glad to have Jaebeom here with him though. It’s better than being alone. “I’ll talk to Jackson soon.”

“He’s so crazy about you. I’m sure he’ll understand well before he does anything else.”

“I hope so. Maybe you should talk to Mark about Youngjae. That’s something you haven’t done since all this started. Maybe we’re both stressing over nothing.”

“We’ve all discussed this before back in college and we agreed that dating a friend’s ex is messed up.”

“College was 8 years ago. We don’t know Mark’s take on that.”

That’s a good point. Jaebeom supposes it’s worth a try. One conversation with Mark could save him a whole lot of anguish. “Alright, I’ll ask.”

“Good. Let’s go to sleep now.”

“Should I go back to my room?”

“No.”

********

Two days when Jaebeom is grocery shopping with Mark, he decides to take the opportunity to talk to Mark about Youngjae. The topic is so hard to bring up when their regular conversation right now has nothing to do with dating or exes. Probably thanks to some work of divinity, an opportunity presents itself when Mark stirs Jaebeom to the dog food isle to buy food for Coco. It’s now or never.

“So, how is Youngjae these days?” Jaebeom tentatively asks while Mark is carefully looking at the labels on the dog food varieties. It seems there is a kind he favors for Coco.

“Good.” Mark mutters absently.

“Is the co-parenting still working out? Nothing weird there?”

“None at all.” Mark finally lifts his gaze to regard Jaebeom. “Well to be exact, someone Youngjae dated a while back was a bit uncomfortable with our co-parenting arrangement, but that’s the only trouble we’ve had so far.” Mark goes back to selecting the perfect brand of dog food.

Jaebeom is stuck, chewing on his lip and planning how to proceed here. As it would seem there is no way forward but to just come out and ask the question as weird and uncomfortable as that is.

“How would you feel about Youngjae dating someone you know?”

Mark’s head snaps up and he looks at Jaebeom with an asking frown. “Is Youngjae dating someone I Know?”

“No.” Jaebeom dismisses quickly. “I’m just asking because…well maybe someone who knows you guys would be more understanding of your co-parenting arrangement.” It’s not his best work, but Jaebeom pats himself on the back for smoothly explaining it.

Mark is still frowning at Jaebeom, schooling him a little as well. The truth is that lately Mark feels like Jaebeom has been a bit off. He’s gloomy, nervous and secretive all of a sudden. That’s nothing like the Jaebeom Mark knows and loves. A few days ago Mark tried asking Jinyoung about what was going on but that didn’t provide any answers. Jinyoung said Jaebeom is only stressed from trying hard to get his new business on the ground. It’s a logical excuse, yet Mark just feels like there is more to it. He just wishes Jaebeom would talk to him about whatever the problem is.

“Depends on how well I know that person. If I don’t know the person a very personal level then I guess it’s cool for them to date my ex. If it’s someone I do know well then that’s just messed up and all sorts of weird. It’s too uncomfortable.” Mark finally answers Jaebeom’s question.

“I get that.” Jaebeom nods,, trying to be casual about everything and pretend that his chest doesn’t suddenly feel like there is a huge lump lodged inside.

“Hey, are you okay?” Mark takes hold of Jaebeom’s arm, looking him over with concern. Apparently Jaebeom isn’t doing such a good job of acting cool. Then again, how can he act cool when he feels like his heart is being ripped in two?

“Yeah.”

“You look pale.”

“I’ll feel better when we get home. I think I need rest.”

Mark lets go of Jaebeom’s arm and sighs. “Sleeping all the time is a sign of depression. You need to live a little.” Without waiting for an answer, Mark continues. “Jinyoung is an enabler, so you shouldn’t be around him so much when you’re feeling so lethargic. We are heading to his apartment now to pack a bag for you and you’re moving in with me for a while.”

“Do I get a say in this?”

“No.” Mark shakes his head, grinning and stepping forward to link arms with Jaebeom.

If Jaebeom felt bad before, he only feels worse now. Mark is so nice, the kind of friend people only dream of having. Jaebeom is so damn lucky and he can’t believe he has even been contemplating the idea of betraying the trust and friendship they have.

In this moment, Jaebeom realises that his dilemma has just been solved. It’s impossible to be with Youngjae and the sooner he gets the idea out of his head, the better for everyone involved.

**********

“I brought food.” Yerim sing-songs, walking into Youngjae’s office with Joy not far behind.

Youngjae lifts his head from his paperwork and smiles at his sister. “Perfect timing. I’m famished.” He stands up to welcome the ladies.

“Joy told me how hard you’ve been working lately, and since you have no man to take care of you, I’ve taken it upon myself to do so.”

“Your love comes with insults I see.” Youngjae mutters dryly and Yerim giggles as she sets the bag of food down on the table.

“I hear that things aren’t going well between you and sexy accountant Oppa.”

So after Youngjae showed Yerim a recent picture of Jaebeom from Jaebeom’s instagram, she said he was the hottest accountant she’s ever seen in her life and that’s why she now refers to him as _sexy accountant oppa._

Youngjae sighs. “You can say that.”

“What’s going on?”

“He doesn’t contact me anymore. After careful thought, I’ve decided it’s for the best too. No good can come from us hanging out a lot.” That’s all Youngjae needs to say since it appears that Joy “helpfully” filled Yerim in on what happened between Youngjae and Jaebeom here in this office last week Tuesday.

“But you like him.” Yerim states matter-of-factly

“Yeah, but-”

“And if you like someone you have to fight for them.”

“I don’t want to beg anymore. I’ve tried contacting Jaebeom hyung and he is ignoring me. I have pride too you know.” After talking to Yuta, Youngjae decided that he does want to fight Jaebeom and for what they could have but it seems Jaebeom doesn’t share the same thought. Recently he’s been ignoring Youngjae’s texts and calls, leaving Youngjae feeling so miserable and hurt. It’s too much. Youngjae can’t only handle so much pain. Maybe it’s better to try and move on with the hope of getting over his feelings for Jaebeom.

Apparently Yerim doesn’t agree though. She frowns admonishingly at Youngjae. “Pride is exactly why you are single and honestly getting desperate.”

Joy chokes on the water she is drinking, attracting Yerim and Youngjae’s attention. “Sorry.” She mutters, embarrassed yet not doing anyone any favours with the huge grin she is trying to hide behind her water bottle.

Yerim’s gaze slides back to her brother, “You should go to sexy accountant oppa. Now.”

“What! No.” Youngjae frowns in confusion at the abrupt and random suggestion.

Instead of giving some clarification as per Youngjae’s request, Yerim takes the bag lunch she’s brought and hands it to Youngjae. “Here. Take some lunch for him too.”

Joy snaps her fingers, “That’s a great idea. He’ll think you are so sweet bringing him some food.”

“He doesn’t want to see me.”

“How do you know that?” Yerim challenges

“Didn’t you hear me just say that he doesn’t answer my calls and texts?”

“Maybe he is just scared. Won’t you fight for him at all? Oppa, this is a guy you’ve been talking about for years. Are you going to give up just like that?”

Shaking his head, words fail Youngjae. Joy looks almost sympathetic when she stands up from her seat and walks around Youngjae’s desk to stand next to him and give him a comforting pat on the back. “Love is pain sometimes, but if you don’t try you’ll probably regret it later. If this guy really doesn’t want you in his life then at least let him tell you to the face in a way more straight forward than the last time.”

“Exactly.” Yerim adds, “Until he says it to your face, you still have a chance. You said yourself that he obviously likes you.”

Youngjae chuckles at that last bit from Joy. “You girls are relentless. I pity your boyfriends.”

A hopeful and victorious smile slowly spreads across Yerim’s face, “So you’ll go?”

Youngjae hates to admit it, but these pushy girls just served as the confidence he needs to finally confront Jaebeom and ask him whether whatever they had going is really over. To be completely honest, Youngjae doesn’t want it to be over at all. His mind wants to do the right and logical thing which is to stir clear of Jaebeom, but his yearing heart is saying something else.

“If this doesn’t work out, I’m coming to your house to cry about it.” Youngjae warns his sister.

Joy claps in glee and gives Youngjae a hug then she holds him at arm’s length to study his appearance. After a rather uncomfortable scrutiny, she reaches up to arrange his hair and his jacket. Seemingly pleased with her handy work, she smiles and gives him two thumbs up, “You are ready.”

“Thanks?” Youngjae quizzically replies because he isn’t sure exactly what she just did to apparently improve his appearance.

“Wait!” Yerim’s eyes widen like she just thought of something. “You do know where sexy accountant Oppa’s office is, right?”

Youngjae nods. “He mentioned it once. I just haven’t been.”

She smiles, relieved. “Then you’ll do just fine.”

“If I take this food, what will you two have for lunch?”

“we’ll figure that out. Don’t worry.” Yerim waves that off. “Just go. Text me later with details.”

Youngjae smilingly and fondly rolls his eyes, “Always.”

*********

“I found this guy sadly looking lost in our lobby and he tells me he is looking for a Jaebeom Hyung.” Wooyoung explains while Youngjae stands next to him smiling a little awkwardly. 

But to hell with all that because Jaebeom already has his cousin’s voice tuned out completely. He is preoccupied by his shock that Youngjae is actually here standing in his office. After struggling through each day he has avoided reaching out to Youngjae, all Jaebeom wants to do is jump up, hug Youngjae and kiss his cute face. Maybe it’s all the time they’ve been apart, but Jaebeom swears he has never seen Youngjae looking as good as he does today.

“Hi.” Jaebeom stands up and he realises he is still blinking owlishly but has no desire to correct that.

“Hi.” Youngjae replies softly. He hasn’t even got the chance to scrutinize Jaebeom’s office and he has probably already forgotten what Jaebeom’s cousin looks like because he is too busy marvelling at how good Jaebeom looks. Youngjae has never seen anyone looking better in a grey T-shirt, navy blazer and black dress pants.

Restraint is hard, but Jaebeom manages to stand up and coolly step into introductions without haphazardly throwing his arms around Youngjae like he is really dying to. 

“Youngjae, this is Wooyoung, another wealth manager here.”

“Hi Youngjae. I’m also his cousin.” Wooyoung says, extending his hand to Youngjae who takes it right away. “I haven’t seen you around before. Have you and JB hyung known each other long?”

“We went to university together.” Youngjae explains, just narrowly escaping an inelegant choke because God he is still hung up over how sexy Jaebeom looks and he is in quite the daze from the sexual tension so obviously charging between them. Youngjae is certain Wooyoung can feel it too if the way the guy is smiling wolfishly is any indication.

Yoyngjae juts a little more than over-the-moon about the appreciative look Jaebeom is sending his way. One the way here Youngjae worried that Jaebeom might be repulsed by a surprise visit from someone he has avoided for weeks now. Whatever reasons Jaebeom might have had for ghosting Youngjae seem for irrelevant now because all that is overshadowed by the sheer elation on Jaebeom’s face right now. 

“Reaallly.” Wooyoung drags the word out while wearing one of his cunning smiles and sending his cousin _a look_.

Jaebeom realises what kind of disaster this will become if he doesn’t get rid of his cousin, “I’m sure you have some work to do, Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung’s lips thin indignantly, “fine, I’ll leave.” He concedes then looks back at Youngjae with a sugary smile, so welcome and accepting like the kind you give to a brother in law. “It’s nice to meet you, mere college friend of my cousin’s whom he has neglected to mention to me.”

Jaebeom face palms.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Youngjae replies with a smile of his own.

As Wooyoung leaves the office, he points animatedly and exaggeratedly at Youngjae, mouthing _he is totally your type_ to Jaebeom. _Ask him out already,_ he mouths one final time and finally exits the room.

“I like him.” Youngjae says, smiling.

“Why?” Jaebeom asks, genuinely curious

Youngjae’s eyes furrow in confusion, “huh?”

Jaebeom waves it off, “Never mind. Welcome to my…world.” He vaguely gestures at their surroundings. At this point Youngjae lets his eyes scan the place. It’s… a wealth manager’s office to say the most. There is a desk, three chairs in front of it, a brown leather couch in the far right corner and a file cabinet. The only highlight is the ridiculously hot office owner and Youngjae supposes the view outside through the floor-to-ceiling window isn’t bad either.

“Your world says nothing about you.”

Jaebeom grins in that attractive way he knows how, “no one who deals with people’s money has an office that says anything about them.”

“I guess not.” Youngjae pauses for a beat and then shakes the bag in his hand. “I brought lunch.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Jaebeom is unexpectedly touched. “You’re just in time. I was about to ask our secretary to bring me the usual sandwich from a restaurant across the street.”

“A sandwich is no good. A man hard at work needs a good meal, yes?”

Jaebeom nods excitedly and rounds his table to go take the lunch bag from Youngjae and then lead him to the couch where they sit side by side. This reminds Jaebeom of the time he had lunch at Youngjae’s office. Now he is thinking of how badly that ended and the agony he has felt the past two weeks.

It’s really a surprise that Youngjae is here even after Jaebeom has been childishly ignored his calls and texts.

Jaebeom knows that Youngjae likes him and hearing that Jaebeom was seeing other people must have hurt Youngjae a lot. Youngjae must have some more when Jaebeom went on to avoid him after that dreadful announcement. Yet here Youngjae is, smiling warmly at Jaebeom and showing no signs of anger or resentment. Jaebeom’s chest feels so full right now- of amazement, a little envy and mostly affection towards Youngjae.

Jaebeom has been spending a lot of time with Mark recently especially after temporarily moving in with him and that seemed to solidify Jaebeom’s decision to stir clear of Youngjae. Jaebeom can feel all that changing now because, how can he not fall harder for someone who likes him enough to fight for him even when he’s being a cowardice jerk?

Jaebeom has no idea what this visit means but he has a sinking feeling that it means trouble and he just doesn’t care. All he wants is for Youngjae to stay beside him like this for a little while, smiling softly and making Jaebeom’s pulse race in a way that nothing and no one else does.

“So, what’s in here?” Jaebeom asks as he opens the bag.

Youngjae’s eyes widen realises he also has no idea. “open it to find it.”

Jaebeom does open it and they find a mouth-watering assortment of sushi rolls, cucumber rolls and rice rolls.

“Wow. This looks so delicious.”

“Yeah except for the cucumbers.” Youngjae’s nose is wrinkled in distaste. Why the hell would Yerim include that? He supposes those were meant for her.

“I’m wondering why you included cucumber rolls when you hate cucumbers so much.”

Youngjae blinks like a deer caught in the headlights. He opens his mouth to spit out some lie, but thinks better of it and sighs. “The truth is Chanyeol hyung probably made this food. It’s meant for Yerim and I, but decided to come over here and eat with you.”

“Was I supposed to think you made this?” Jaebeom is blatantly laughing at Youngjae.

“Shut up.” Youngjae shoves him. “You can’t cook either.”

“I never pretended I can.”

“Chan hyung has been attending a cooking school and it’s really paying off. As we can see.” Youngjae gestures at the food in front of them. “He keeps insisting I sign up too, claiming that cooking is therapeutic.”

It’s Jaebeom’s turn to wrinkle his nose. “Is it? I don’t think so.” 

Youngjae nudges Jaebeom, “let’s go find out together. We can both sign up.”

Silence

Youngjae realises too late that he has just put his foot in his mouth again. He hasn’t seen Jaebeom in weeks and he’s barely been in this office for 5 minutes yet here he is already putting pressure on Jaebeom. 

Jaebeom just blinks and then it dawns on Youngjae that Jaebeom is trying to avoid creating any more opportunities for them to spend time together.

Jaebeom feels his insides shrivel up at the dejected look on Youngjae’s face. “Cooking together sounds like fun-”

“But we shouldn’t be hanging out. I know.” Youngjae cuts in, sounding every bit as irritated and frustrated as he feels inside. Jaebeom’s heart squeezes harder in his chest. “Is that why you ghosted me these past weeks?” Youngjae asks

“I just thought-”

“Yes, yes we’d only be punishing ourselves by hanging out when we can’t do anything about our feelings for each other. I know, but just so you know, it’s selfish of you to make that choice on your own and then just ghost me.” 

Jaebeom lowers his gaze in guilt and remorse. All he can say when he looks back up after an uncomfortably long silence is, “Youngjae I’m sorry.”

“For liking me or for ghosting me?”

Jaebeom shakes his head, “I might not know what to do about my feelings for you, but I’m not sorry about it.”

Youngjae nods, at least very relieved about that. “hyung, I don’t know what to do about our romantic feelings, but I miss you as a friend.”

“I miss you too.”

“Then let’s try a cooking class just for fun. Try not to overthink so much.”

Jaebeom smiles that way that makes his eyes disappear, the way that melts Youngjae’s heart. “Alright let’s do that.” he couldn’t say no now even if he wanted to. He’s too far gone now. The guilt of being a bad friend to Mark is a poison he’d much rather handle than the torture of not being with Youngjae.

“Another thing, don’t ghost me again.” Youngjae pleads, and for a second Jaebeom fleetingly sees the vulnerability in Youngjae’s eyes, the hurt he is feeling. The sight breaks Jaebeom’s heart some more and he wishes he could erase the past two weeks.

Jaebeom reaches and gently cups Youngjae’s cheek, his thumb caressing the smooth pale skin. “What I did was brutal. I’m truly sorry. I promise.” He leans towards Youngjae and presses a soft kiss against Youngjae’s cheek. “I promise.”

*******

“So, did you ask him out?” Wooyoung bounds in on Jaebeom once Youngjae is gone.

Jaebeom feels well fed with good food, nice conversation and a stolen kiss on the cheek so, he is back at his desk ready to conquer the rest of his work day with much vigor. “no.” he mutters

Wooyoung deflates in disappointment. “Why the hell not?” he takes one of the seats in front of Jaebeom’s desk.

“It’s complicated.”

“eww.” Wooyoung’s face contorts in disgust and that quickly changes to disappointment. “You did not just use that tired excuse. Try harder.”

Jaebeom sighs and lifts his gaze to meet Wooyoung’s, “he used to date my best friend.”

“Wow.”

“yeah.”

Wooyoung unexpectedly grin and suggestively wiggles his eyebrows. “Well that ought to make for some insanely exciting sex later.”

“What!” Jaebeom is so stunned by his cousin’s entirely random and honestly bizarre logic.

“It’s gotta be exciting sneaking around like that.”

“No one is going to be sneaking around. I just said that to you like 5 seconds ago.”

“It’s a shame though. Youngjae really likes you.”

“Could you tell?”

“It’s not hard to tell, hyung. When Youngjae and I walked in, the two of you kept gawking at each other like thirsty rabbits.”

Jaebeom laughs at that, finally giving up on holding back his laughter at his Wooyoung’s ridiculousness.

“We agreed to sign up for a cooking class together.” Jaebeom says when his laughter dies down.

Wooyoung lights up again as if hope in human nature has been restored to him. “That’s great. He brought you lunch and all. You don’t want to lose someone like that.”

“I agree, but he and I still have some things to work through.”

“Okay then. In the meantime, I found the perfect guy for you.” Wooyoung sing songs

Jaebeom rolls his eyes and sighs miserably, “Not now. Please.” He pleads. As annoying and inappropriate as Wooyoung can be, Jaebeom is helpless because the idiot is not only his most trusted business partner but also his cousin.

“Don’t be a buzz kill. This is exciting. Aunty made me promise her to hook you up.”

“You and my mother are working together to set me up? Oh God.” Jaebeom wants to die. “It’s not like I’m some clinical case.” He complains. “I can find someone on my own.”

“hyung, you’ve been single since you returned to Seoul months ago. People have been married twice in that time.”

Jaebeom almost laughs at that wild exaggeration. “Whatever. I’m not going on another one of your awkward setups.”

“You haven’t even heard me out. This guy is awesome.” Wooyoung says when he senses that his cousin is about to say no to the entire idea. “This guy is a middle school teacher. Upright citizen, smart, great with kids, hot, has the cutest dimples I’ve ever seen-”

“Then why the hell is he still single if he is so perfect?” Jaebeom impatiently cuts in

“Because some attractive people just insist on selfishly hiding themselves and their hotness from the dating scene. You know all about that, don’t you, JB?”

“ _Hyung_.” Jaebeom corrects irritably

“Hyung.” Wooyoung is quick to take the correction because quite frankly his cousin scares the crap out of him sometimes. “Anyway this guy’s name is Jung Jaehyun and he is 25 years old-”

“Why is every guy you set me up with younger than I am?”

“Because no one your age is single.”

“Wooyoung?”

“Yes, hyung?”

“Get out!”

“Not until you agree to go out with this guy. He is great, I promise.”

“I also promised Youngjae that I won’t hurt him anymore. He won’t like it if I go out with someone else.”

Wooyoung makes a regretful face. “That’s a shame though because I already told Jaeheyun about you and he is very interested in going out with you. He said he’s free this Thursday and I told him you’d be free too.

Jaebeom’s jaw drops. How the hell did he end up with friends and relatives who don’t listen to him or respect his boundaries?

Sensing Jaebeom’s growing anger, Wooyoung offers a nervous and apologetic smile. “I didn’t know about Youngjae. Sorry.”

“You’re a menace.”

“Please don’t be mad, hyung. Just do me this one favour. I’ll look bad if you don’t show up.” Wooyoung pleads, actually managing to look pitiful about it; so sad that Jaebeom almost feels bad. Jaebeom shakes his head at the shameless manipulation. 

“That’s not my problem.” Then again if Jaebeom doesn’t go, he’ll also just be the jerk that stood someone up. After all this Jaeheyun guy is also just a victim of Wooyoung’s meddling nonsense. Pushing out a tired breath, Jaebeom finally concedes. “Fine. Give me his number and I’ll call him later.”

Wooyoung stands up with a huge victorious grin on his face. It’s almost infectious. “You won’t regret it.”

“Make sure I don’t. Also, I told you that my romantic interests lie elsewhere, so don’t expect miracles from me on this date with Jaehyun.” deciding this conversation can safely end here, Jaebeom changes the subject. “Shall we sort out Mrs. Shin’s account now?”

“Can’t. San is taking me somewhere to eat.”

“You and San spend way too much time together.”

“That’s what normal couples do, hyung. You’ll see when you find someone you truly love.”

“I doubt I’ll ever be that kind of boyfriend.”

“We’ll see about that.” Wooyoung grins daringly.


	4. Surrender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four has arrived and i'm finally introducing more couples. We'll continue with a deeper look into Jaebeom/Youngjae, Jackson/Jinyoung and Jooheon/Changkyun while I introduce Shownu/Kihyun and Jaehyun/Taeyong. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well. thanks so much for all the love and support you guys are giving this story.

“I was hoping we could reschedule?” Jackson says most beseechingly to his manager on the other end of the line. He is just returning home from doing a photo shoot for his latest men’s perfume endorsement, and he is exhausted. What Jackson needs right now is to sleep for 3 days, but his manager is telling him that dance practice for the title track on Jackson’s upcoming album has to resume at 4am tomorrow morning because they are behind schedule.

Jamie sighs, sounding regrettable and apologetic. Since Jamie joined Jackson’s label Team Wang as Jackson’s manager, he and Jackson developed a serious camaraderie and brotherhood. Jackson is certain that if anyone understands his pain, it’s Jamie. That’s why Jackson is kindly asking Jamie to create some time for him to rest.

Sadly even Jamie sounds like he is all out of tricks as he replies, “Sorry but it has to be done. Your album drops in a months’ time. You’ll get all the rest you need afterwards.”

Jackson tosses his car keys on the coffee table at the centre of his living area and drops on his couch, throwing his head back.

“It’s after 8pm now. How many hours of sleep do I have?”

“If you sleep real soon you’ll get at least 6 or 7 hours. Not bad, right?”

“My life sucks.” Jackson grumbles sulkily. “I want to sleep for 10hours.”

“We love Team Wang, remember? It’s your dream.” Jamie is quick to step in with some encouragement for his boss. “Whenever you feel like dying of stress, think of the passion you have. If that doesn’t work, call Jinyoung. That always helps.”

Jackson hums, smiling affectionately at the thought of his boyfriend. Come to think of it, Jinyoung updated his instagram this afternoon. Jackson ought to check that out. “Thanks. Get some sleep.”

“Goodnight.” Jamie answers and hangs up.

Jackson is happy to have eaten dinner already, so he just showers and goes straight to bed, getting under the covers. He reaches for is phone and goes to instagram to see what Jinyoung is up to. Jackson smiles finding that it’s just more pictures of Jinyoung, Mark and Jaebeom hanging out. It seems they recently went swimming and had dinner together. the sight is undoubtedly heart-warming and Jackson is genuinely happy for them but he also feels very left out. He misses his friends so much.

As Jackson scrolls some more, he finds that Jinyoung posted some pictures yesterday as well. It’s just Jinyoung and Jaebeom in there. In one picture they are posing in front of some painting, leading Jackson to believe they were at an art gallery or something. In another picture they are eating together at home. The last picture is of them lying down and holding identical books that Jackson assumes they are reading.

They look very close, cosy, happy and content.

Like a couple

Jackson stops himself there and takes a deep breath. He is being ridiculous. Of course he is. He is just fatigued, irritated and he misses his friends a lot. That’s all there is to it. Jinyoung and Jaebeom have been friends for years and nothing even remotely romantic has ever happened between them, Jackson reasons.

It’s that simple.

Yet Jackson can’t seem to shake off the jealousy, annoyance and anxiety boiling in his chest. 

He does his best to shake it off as he dials Jinyoung’s number.

“Hi, baby.” Jinyoung jubilantly greets when his face comes up on Jackson’s phone screen.

“Hi.” Jackson pushes for a smile. “How was your day?”

“Good. We’re getting there. A few days ago I asked Jungwoo to make some fliers for us. He’s got a friend called Ten- that’s a nickname- and Ten is very good at art, so he helped us design the fliers. I must say the inflow of customers has improved a little since we started distributing the fliers.”

“That’s amazing. I’m so proud.” Jackson dramatically clutches his chest. He means it though. In university, Jinyoung studied Literature in Korean, but for the sake of he gave that up not long after getting a good job at a small college. The job was for the purpose of raising funds to open up a café which is his real dream. It makes Jackson so proud and happy seeing his man living his dream.

“I couldn’t have done wit with your never waning support and encouragement.”

“I’ll help in whatever way I can. Don’t hold back from asking for my help.”

“I know.” Jinyoung blows a kiss at his phone and Jackson pretends to catch it.

Jinyoung stands up then. “I’m at the office actually.” He announces. “I did a new paint job in here. Some décor too. You wanna see?”

“Sure.”

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Jinyoung turns the camera away from himself and gives Jackson a small tour of the office, explaining a few things here and there. Jackson likes it. The choice of pastel colours suits Jinyoung very well. “You did a good job.”

“Thanks to JB.”

“Oh?”

“He helped me a lot here. We painted it together and he helped me look for the furniture.”

“Hm.” Jackson feels his mood plummet again. “That’s sounds like fun.” he mutters.

Jinyoung’s face returns to Jackson’s screen. “It was. Can you believe that all Mark did was buying me a vase?” Jinyoung chuckles, shaking his head.

“Sounds like Mark.”

Jinyoung chatters on some more about his adventures and misadventures with the others, and Jackson just hums in what he hopes are the right places. Try as he may, he just can’t muster any excitement

Jinyoung suddenly stops and frowns. “You don’t sound enthusiastic. Don’t you like the colour?”

“It’s fine. I’m sure JB knows best.”

“Are we okay here?”

“it’s just… you could have asked me.”

“You’re not here.”

“Asking what colour palette you should choose for your office isn’t something too hard to do over the phone.”

“It’s easier for me to ask someone who is here, that’s all.”

“Sure.”

“What’s your problem?”

“My problem is that lately I spend a lot of time listening to stories about the stuff you and JB are doing together.” Jackson snaps. “Your instagram is littered with pictures of the two of you…” he trails off.

“JB is my friend.”

“That doesn’t mean he should take my place.”

“No one is taking your place. It’s not JB’s fault he’s here and you’re not.”

Jackson takes that stab right to the chest, and he supposes he deserves it too.

Jinyoung sighs. “We should talk later. Good night.” He ends the call without waiting for an answer.

Jackson is left feeling worse than he did going into the conversation.

********

Jinyoung is still annoyed when he meets up with Jaebeom for dinner after work. They go to a ramen place they often visit on nights like these after working long hours.

Jaebeom immediately notices Jinyoung’s gloomy mood, but he waits until after they are well into their meal to ask. “Is everything okay?”

“No.” Jinyoung answers right away like he’s been waiting for Jaebeom to ask. “You’re ruining my life.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“If I’m not lying for you, I’m defending you.”

“You’ve lost me.” Jaebeom puts his chopsticks down to pay attention.

Jinyoung huffs. “Jackson and I had a fight.” He pauses. “About you.”

“What did I do?”

“You’re my friend. Apparently that’s enough to piss my boyfriend off. If he found out we’re having dinner together right now he’s probably flip.”

“Are you saying Jackson hates the fact that we’re hanging out together?”

“To be exact, he accused you of replacing him as my man.”

Jaebeom’s mouth falls open and he frowns, both stunned and puzzled by this information. “That’s ridiculous. You and I are friends and that’s it.”

“Try telling that to Jackson. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“Maybe he’s just tired and cranky.”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “Jackson and I have done our best to ignore the effects of a long distance relationship but I think we’ve come to a point where we can’t anymore. I’m starved of affection; he is getting jealous and insecure….”

“Would it help if I talked to him?”

“I guarantee that it wouldn’t.” Jinyoung is a prideful guy who wouldn’t normally let people see his vulnerabilities, but the person in front of him isn’t just anyone. Jaebeom is Jinyoung’s better half and they don’t hide anything from each other. That’s why Jinyoung allows his tears to fall and he lets Jaebeom see the pain he is feeling. “I’m so tired of pretending to be happy with Jackson when our relationship just feels like a burden to bear.”

Jaebeom gets up and goes to sit beside Jinyoung then he pulls him into a one armed hug. Jinyoung drops his head on Jaebeom’s shoulder and let’s himself cry.

Jaebeom does his best to shield Jinyoung from the prying eyes of onlookers in the restaurant.

********

“Hey, Changkyunnie.” Jooheon jubilantly greets.

Changkyun lifts his gaze from the magazine he’s been reading for about an hour now. Traffic of guests coming to the resort slows down on weekdays, so it gives Changkyun a lot of downtime even if he’s got one of the busiest jobs around as a receptionist.

He blinks at Jooheon and just about nearly rolls his eyes. Once upon a time seeing Jooheon gave Changkyun such joy, but now he just wants to slap the Jooheon across the face. “What do you need?”

Jooheon is taken aback by the coldness he feels emanating from Changkyun. “It’s lunch hour. I thought we could go grab a bite to eat.” 

“I’ll eat later.” Changkyun mutters with a quality of lifelessness to his tone of voice. Jooheon can’t help feeling disappointed and also wronged by Changkyun’s sudden indifference.

“Perhaps ice cream later?”

“Perhaps not.” With that, Changkyun resumes reading his magazine, or at least pretending to. He might be good at icing people out, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. He feels awful as well about this situation with Jooheon.

Dejected and utterly confused, Jooheon trudges back to the IT office and he finds his supervisor Hyungwon is still there.

Hyungwon notes Jooheon’s downtrodden manner and asks, “What’s up? Shouldn’t you be going to lunch with Kyunnie?”

Jooheon goes to sit beside Hyungwon, looking every bit as pitiful as he feels. “he said no.”

“He’s icing you out huh.”

“Yes. I don’t know why all of a sudden.”

Hyungwon shakes his head at Jooheon. Sometimes he just wants to smack him upside the head for being so dense. “Word has spread in the resort that you went out on a date a few nights ago.”

Jooheon’s eyes widen. “Really?”

“Yes, and Changkyun heard about it of course. You know how people around here love to gossip.”

“Oh God!” Jooheon groans and face palms. “That was… I have no interest in Im Jaebeom. Mark hyung asked me to go out with him. I couldn’t say no.”

“That’s why you should invest in a backbone. Stop being such a yes-person.”

“Hyungwon hyung, what do I do now? I don’t want Changkyun to hate me because of this.” Jooheon looks beseechingly at his supervisor.

“Start with an apology and then see how that goes.”

********

“In the end I sort of bit him on the arm. In my defence, I was only trying to prove a point to Shownu.”

Youngjae takes notes while saying, “That’s too extreme although I’ll say it’s better than the time you stabbed him in the chest with a spoon. What was on your mind when you bit Shownu?”

Kihyun exhales morosely, “I guess I was trying to goad him into dumping me.”

“Is it because you still feel unworthy of his love?”

“Yes.”

“Let me ask you this.” Youngjae pauses and his writing to look Kihyun square in the eye. “Would you really be okay with seeing Shownu happy with someone else?”

The thought alone makes Kihyun’s heart hurt so much. He couldn’t bear to lose Shownu, yet at the same time he feels Shownu could be dating someone so much better. Kihyun’s lips part as if to say something, but then whatever it is falls flat in the end. “I don’t know.”

“I think the answer is no. Am I wrong?” Youngjae asks, keeping his voice gentle so that his questions aren’t leading. Kihyun is very fragile and emotional which makes him easily shaken and indecisive.

“Shownu has this friend. His name is Shownu. They are quite close. There was a time when I thought they would be better together, but it hurt so much when I saw pictures of them hanging out. Now I hate seeing them together.”

“Are you admitting to feeling insecure in your relationship?”

“I thought it’s clear that that’s why I’m here talking to you.”

“Yes but you’ve never actually admitted it.”

Kihyun chews on his lower lip as he hesitates. Admitting his weaknesses has never really been that easy for him.

“Okay you don’t need to use words if you’re uncomfortable.” Youngjae helpfully offers and Kihyun gives him a very relieved, very grateful smile. “Let me ask you someone else. Does Shownu know how you feel about his friendship with Shownu?” 

“No. Shownu really likes Shownu. I’d hate to get in between that.”

“Do you have friends?”

Kihyun nods. “One. His name is Minhyuk.”

“What’s the nature of your relationship with Minhyuk. Are you two close? Is he good to you?”

“Our friendship is great. We bicker a lot but I couldn’t ask for a better bestie. It was his birthday recently and I bought him a car with my savings, to show him my love.”

“Wow a whole car? Did he like the gift?”

“Well he said he was a bit overwhelmed but in the end he loved it.”

“Do you normally give people such big gifts?”  
“Of course. I like showing the people I love that I love them.”

“Is that all there is to it?”

Kihyun considers that and ponders for a short while. “I guess I also want to be memorable to them.”

“Why use a word like _memorable_?”

“I guess I feel forgotten sometimes, like I’m easy to replace.”

“Why is that?”

Kihyun shrugs. “I’ve never had that much to offer as a person.”

Youngjae nods and resumes taking notes. Finally after about two months of seeing Kihyun, there is a slight breakthrough. Kihyun’s inner most emotion as are coming to light so now they have to work towards the root cause of those emotions.

“Do you feel replaceable in other areas of your life? For example, at work.”

“I’m a mere paralegal at a law firm, so yes.”

“Kihyun, a lot of people feel that way, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anyone is necessarily that replaceable. The truth is that you have more to offer. We all do.”

“What could that be?”

“I’ll throw that question you. Is there at least one thing you think you do very well?”

Nothing instantly comes to Kihyun’s mind, so he shakes his head. “People say I’m cute, but that’s it.”

Youngjae smiles. “Off the top of my head, you’re very handsome and cute; your voice is very pleasant to listen to and you are a nice person.”

“Do you think so?” a hopeful and shy smile starts to spread across Kihyun’s face.

Youngjae nods, feeling a little bad about how visibly hard it is for Kihyun to believe him. “This is hard for you to believe, right?” 

“Yes. I want to but I just can’t.” Kihyun’s voice cracks. “Shownu tells me things like that and I’m constantly pretending that I get gratification from it. I just want to believe my own boyfriend when he tells me that he loves me.”

“And you will. What you need to realise is that you’re already half way because you’ve taken the first and hardest step which is to seek help. You care about yourself and those around so you came here to become better for their sake and for yours, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good. Meltdowns can happen every so often, but at least you are in touch with your own feelings and you understand why your stab or bite people. We won’t give up until you are all better, alright. Things will be okay.”

Kihyun’s smile is a little more radiant this time and it’s actually reaching his eyes. “Thanks, Doc.”

“You pay a good fee, so I think you don’t owe me any more gratitude.” Youngjae chortles.

Kihyun laughs and reaches for his tea, taking a sip. “How much time do we have left on my session?”

Youngjae looks at his wrist watch. “About 15 minutes. Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

“I’ve done enough complaining for one day.” Kihyun wrinkles his eyes in a way that makes his deep set eyes disappear further. It’s an adorable sight. A small smile tugs at Youngjae‘s lips.

“May I use your time to text someone?”

“Go ahead.”

Youngjae grabs his phone and texts Jaebeom.

_My sister’s boyfriend is performing at a jazz lounge tonight. Wanna come?_

Maybe it’s because Youngjae is literally staring tirelessly at his phone and waiting for a reply, but it feels like Jaebeom’s reply takes forever to come. Youngjae’s heart racing as he opens the text when it finally comes.

**_I have other plans. Sorry. Let’s do that another time._ **

Youngjae is dying to ask what these other plans are but there is no room for push for more information because he has no right. He and Jaebeom are more friends than anything else after all. Youngjae almost feels wronged and perhaps angry too because Jaebeom apologised and promised that he wouldn’t do anything else to hurt Youngjae; but for all Youngjae knows, Jaebeom’s other plans just simply be something that has nothing to do with dating.

Youngjae sure hopes that’s it because he isn’t sure he can take any more of the heart ache.

**_Cool. Another time then._ **

He replies and puts his phone away, mood slightly damped a little. Whatever expression Kihyun sees on Youngjae’s face is enough to have him frowning and Youngjae guesses he must look rather pathetic. “Is everything okay?” Kihyun asks

Youngjae offers a small smile. “I don’t pay you to listen to me, so no I’m not sharing my life problems with you.”

“Well that’s unfair. I thought you and I are growing closer.”

“Not like that. Besides, I know how you and Shownu love to gossip. I’m not giving the two of you something to talk about before bed.”

Kihyun splutters, literally muttering gibberish for a few seconds before his speech clears. “How would you know that?”

“Kihyun hyung, my job is to listen to you talk. I catch everything you say, even when you are mumbling.”

“Oh.” Kihyun blinks. “Might I have mentioned-?”

“Yes you mentioned how you secretly hate the 500 dollar designer sweater Shownu gave you for Christmas last year and how you wish he’d given you the money instead. I also know that you have a not-so small crush on your hot neighbour Lee Jinki.”

The horrified expression on Kihyun’s face waters down some of Youngjae’s gloom and he manages a genuine smile.

“Remind me never to put you in the same rom as Shownu.”

“You are safe with doctor-patient confidentiality. You should invite him up for tea next time he picks you up.”

“I won’t take my chances.” Kihyun still sounds and looks so mortified.

********

Kihyun meets up with Shownu outside the hospital in the parking lot. Shownu gathers Kihyun in his arms and kisses him on the temple.

“How was therapy today?”

“Really good.” Rears back to smile at his boyfriend. “When I was leaving, Doctor Choi told me that we’re starting to make some progress.”

“I feel like we should go somewhere nice. What do you want to do?”

“um…anything I guess.”

“We are celebrating you tonight. There should be something you want to do.”

Kihyun stiffens instantly and Shownu feels it, senses Kihyun withdrawing into himself again because he probably feels undeserving of being the centre of Shownu’s attention right now or at any time.

Honestly Shownu doesn’t understand why Kihyun always makes a big deal about such small things, but then again one can never understand another person’s emotions. Trivialising someone else’s problems is incredibly shallow and insensitive, and Shownu doesn’t want to be that guy.

So he concedes and suggests something else. “okay forget the celebration. How about a simple diner somewhere? Movie marathon at home afterwards?”

“Sounds great.”

********

Jaehyun greets Jaebeom at the door with a friendly smile. “Hi, Jaebeom. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Jaebeom replies

“Please come in.” Jaehyun steps aside to let his guest inside the small, cosy place.

The first thing Jaebeom notices about Jaehyun’s place is how clean and orderly it is. “Your home is very nice.” He voices out when they are standing in the centre of the small living area.

“Oh that’s thanks to my housemate who is a clean freak.”

“Did he do the décor too?”

Jaehyun nods. “Please make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

“May I take a look at your photos over there?” Jaebeom points at an area on the wall to his left where a bunch of pictures are clustered.

“Go ahead.” Jaehyun smiles once more and then exits the room, leaving Jaebeom to explore. He walks to look at the pictures. There a lot of photos of Jaeheyun alone as well as others with people Jaebeom assumes are family members. What catches Jaebeom’s attention is the numerous photos of Jaehyun and a certain cute wide-eyed guy. They look awfully close and they spend a lot of time together as evidenced by the display of photos from their adventures and outings. He’s Jaehyun’s friend maybe?

Jaehyun re-enters the room and walks over to next to Jaebeom. As if he knows Jaebeom is wondering, Jaehyun introduces his family members through the photos- his dad, mum and 2 cousins who are like his older sisters. 

Jaehyun finally points one of the images where he is with the guy Jaebeom is curious about. “This is Taeyong, my best friend.” He answers the unasked but completely obvious question.

“Oh.”

“He also lives here.”

“Is this the housemate you talked about earlier?”

“Yeah.” Jaehyun nods and then as if to offer an explanation to the shrine because he also knows it’s bizarre, he adds, “He likes to take pictures.”

“I see.” Jaebeom replies for lack of anything better to say.

“We should go.”

“Yes.” _Please_

They are about to leave when, “wait!” someone calls out from behind them.

Jaehyun’s roommate emerges from a room and he walks towards them, holding a garment in his hand. Jaebeom recognises him from the pictures. Seeing him in person, Jaebeom notices that he looks even better in real life what with his smooth skin, doll eyes, attractively square jaw and bright peach hair.

Jaehyun smiles and immediately goes to do introductions. “Taeyong hyung, this is my date, Jaebeom hyung.”

Jaebeom is about to say something, but is cut off by the chilling once over Taeyong gives him. There is no trace of friendliness or warmth anywhere in his big eyes and Jaebeom frowns wondering why.

“Hi.” Taeyong mutters in such a monotone and He doesn’t even bother waiting for Jaebeom to reply. He turns to Jaehyun and his attitude changes entirely as he smiles softly, “You forgot to grab a sweater.”

After literally putting the sweater on Jaehyun, Taeyong turns towards Jaebeom again with his icy facial expression back in place, “Make sure he doesn’t take this off later.” Taeyong looks back at Jaehyun, “and you keep a lookout for your allergies and don’t you dare drink.”

Jaebeom’s eyebrows rise as he takes in their tender moment, the way they are standing so close to each other, the light tint of pink on Jaehyun’s cheeks and the little smiles on both their faces.

Jaebeom is starting to feel a little uncomfortable by the suffocating domesticity in the air right now, like he is intruding on something. 

“We should leave.” He repeats, desperate to escape Taeyong’s glaring.

*******

Jaehyun suggests they go to a popular outdoor chicken wraps place near Han River. Jaebeom appreciates the ambience of the place, the view of the river and the simple picnic tables with giant umbrellas over them. Jaebeom and Jaeheyun buy the wraps first, and then they go to find themselves a table.

“So, how do you know Wooyoung?” Jaebeom asks as they settle down opposite each other to start eating.

“He and I go to the same gym.”

“You like to work out?”

“Not really. Taeyong goes there once in a while though when he feels like trying to buff up. I just sort of tag along because he hates going alone.”

“I see. Well you’ll never see me in a gym.”

“That’s fine. You are attractive without the muscles.”

“Thanks. So are you.”

All throughout their meal, Jaebeom notes several things about Jaeheyun. The first is that the guy is insanely handsome especially under this dim lighting. The second is that Jaeheyun is also super friendly and very easy to talk to. Apparently they have a good number of hobbies in common. Jaeheyun works in fashion as a designer of street wear for men. Jaebeom assumes that the yellow graffiti design T-shirt Jaeyhun has on is one of his. It looks very good on him too.

Jaeheyun also happens to be a good listener. He makes Jaebeom feel like accounting is the most interesting thing on earth with how attentively he is listening to Jaebeom talk about his job.

The final thing Jaebeom notices about Jaehyun is something just a bit interesting. Jaehyun talks a lot about his housemate, Taeyong. This brings Jaebeom to the last thing he’s noticed about Jaeheyun.

Jung Jaeheyun is very cool, but he just isn’t Jaebeom’s type. Not that anyone can really steal Jaebeom’s devotion to Youngjae at this point. That’s probably why Jaebeom isn’t irked by how many times the name Taeyong has popped up here tonight.

What’s more, Jaeheyun’s phone just made a ping sound and now he is looking at the screen while a smile slowly spreads across his face. Jaebeom’s eyebrows shoot up inquisitively, a small smile playing on his lips. He is amused more than anything else. Jaeheyun eventually catches himself and puts his phone down before offering Jaebeom an apologetic smile. “Sorry. It’s just Taeyong checking in. he is caring like that.”

“I can tell.”

“I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” I finish my food and carefully put the paper wrap aside. “These wraps are good. Don’t you agree?”

“Taeyong makes better ones. I swear he should be a chef. He is that good. Lucky for me, he enjoys cooking for me.”

“Lucky indeed.” Jaebeom nods slowly, perhaps now realising that Jaehyun will probably brag about his friend the entire evening. He would be upset if it weren’t for how cute Jaehyun looks while talking about a guy he clearly doesn’t know he is so gone for.

Jaebeom wonders if this is what he looks like when he talks about Youngjae.

******

“Shall we go and grab a few beers?” Jaebeom suggests after they’re done eating and tey now taking a stroll in the park by the Han River.

“No thanks.” Jaehyun wrinkles his nose

Noting the disdainful look on Jaehyun’s face, Jaebeom has to ask. “You don’t drink?”

“Taeyong Hyung won’t let me.”

“Of course.” At this point Jaebeom is playfully rolling his eyes at the dynamic between Jaehyun and his supposed best friend. “That’s okay. We can get milkshakes instead.”

“Sure.”

*******

After they get their milkshakes, they settle on a park bench to talk some more and Jaeheyun is narrating yet another misadventure he encountered with Taeyong.

Jaebeom decides it’s time to intervene. “I think you should pursue that.”

“What?”

“You should confess your feelings to Taeyong.” Jaebeom says confidently and then that confidence wanes a bit when he belatedly realises that he might be overstepping or reading things all wrong. “There are…feelings there right?” he asks a little more tentatively at the end.

Jaeheyun blinks owlishly, but his slowly reddening cheeks give him away and he dissolves into a shy grin. “I’m sorry. Is it that obvious?”

“Yes. You can’t shut up about him and there is a shrine of your couple photos in your apartment.”

Jaeheyun chuckles and clears his throat, a little embarrassed. “The truth that I do like Taeyong hyung.”

Jaebeom is starting to think he is cursed with the misfortune of dating guys who like other people. Then again he kind of deserves it considering that he’s also actively dating other people wile knowing fully well that there is chance he’ll ever get over Youngjae.

“Why aren’t you dating him?” Jaebeom asks

“Taeyong hyung and I are best friends who live together. Imagine what chaos it would be if I confess and discover that he doesn’t feel the same way.”

Jaebeom grins, amused and warmed by Jaehyun and Taeyong’s situation. It feels like he’s watching a very adorable rom-com were two people are holding back because they don’t know how in love they are with each other. “Taeyong definitely likes you. Trust me. Don’t waste time on doubts. You should go to him now.”

*******

The night is still young and Jaebeom doesn’t want to go home yet, so he makes a FaceTime call and adds both Mark and Jonyoung. He stops over outside a gift shop so that he can talk more comfortably.

“Is your date already over? That was fast.” Jinyoung says right away.

“I hope you didn’t run the poor guy off.” Mark chortles

“Actually my pride is a little wounded. This was the second date I’ve been out on in a while and the only guys I can find already have crushes on other people.”

Jinyoung hisses

“Ouch!” sympathy is written across Mark’s face.

“Where is the tonight’s guy now?” Jinyoung asks

“We decided to end the date early so he could go and confess to his friend.”

“That sucks. Where are you?”

“Still up and about. I don’t want to head home yet. Are you guys free for drinks? I’ll buy.”

Jinyoung makes a regrettable sound and says, “As awesome as that sounds, I’m in the middle of a dinner with my workers.”

“Mark?”

“Sorry, man. I can’t. Remember Seonghwa? The guy I told you I’m seeing these days? I’m on my way to meet him for ramen.”

Jinyoung coos at Mark. “I’m happy that you are finally moving on from Inseong. You’ve been seeing this Seonghwa for a while now. Any chance we’ll get to meet him soon?”

“Things are going so well. I don’t want to jinx it by introducing him to you idiots already.”

Jaebeom laughs, not offended at all. “I saw the picture you sent me. He is hot.”

“And has a kind, handsome face.” Jinyoung adds.

“He is as kind as he looks. We have a lot in common.” Mark excitedly shares, smiling with his teeth.

“Keep him.” Jinyoung replies.

“I intend to.”

“I have to go, guys. Have fun, Mark. See you at home JB.” Jinyoung waves at the screen

“See you guys later.” Mark also waves and signs off. 

Left with no choice, Jaebeom is forced to wave them a peace sign and then end the call. He is back to being alone with no plans and no desire to go home, so it’s only too easy for him to take up Youngjae’s invitation to a jazz lounge performance. He is only hopes it’s still open.

Jaebeom knows that if he goes he’ll have to meet Youngjae’s sister and her boyfriend. And getting tangled up in all that sounds easy enough but what he and Youngjae is definitely not a mere friendship even though they agreed to just _hang out with free minds and hearts_ ; so meeting the people in Youngjae’s life makes Jaebeom a little nervous.

********

Jaehyun enters his apartment and finds the lights off except the one by the couch upon which he sees the figure of his friend sitting.

He leaves his coat on the rack inside the entryway and trades his shoes for house slippers, and then he walks over to the couch.

“Hi, hyung.” He chirps

“How was your date?” Taeyeong asks eyes trained on a spot on the coffee table, staring a hole through it. Jaeheyun thinks it’s a bit creepy, but he doesn’t say anything because he is used to Taeyong’s occasional “weirdness”. In fact he loves it. That’s why his heart is thudding a mile a second right now as he draws closer to confessing those feelings.

He drops to his hunches in front of Taeyong and reaches up to cup Taeyong’s face ever so gently. Taeyong doesn’t flinch because this isn’t the first time Jaehyun is touching him like this. It is however the first time Taeyong is seeing the look in Jaehyun’s eyes- a look of deep adoration, wonder and something else Taeyong can’t be certain of.

Taeyong’s heart rate rises under Jaehyun’s soft gaze. “Jaehyunnie…” He whispers and realises too late that he doesn’t know what to say.

“You are so beautiful.” Jaehyun whispers in awe. Maybe it’s his newly accepted romantic feelings for his friend, but Taeyong has never looked as pretty as he does now.

A soft pink slowly spreads across Taeyong’s cheeks at the compliment and Jaehyun’s fingers gently stroke the soft, warm skin there with a sweet smile on his face. “Let’s be together for real, hyung.” Jaehyun finally finds the courage to say, and then he watches Taeyong’s expression go from neutral to wide-eyed shock as Jaehyun’s words eventually sink in.

Jaehyun doesn’t wait for an answer though. Curling his palm at the back of Taeyong’s neck, he tugs him down and kisses him- slow and uncertain at first, until Jaehyun feels Taeyong go pliant under his touch. Sensing no trace of resistance from Taeyong, Jaehyun confidently licks over Taeyong’s bottom lip carefully, teasing his mouth open, meeting his tongue.

Taeyong sighs against Jaehyun’s lips, tilting his chin up, opening his mouth a little more, while Jaehyun slowly strokes down Taeyong’s arms, until he finds his hands, and Taeyong moans quietly when Jaehyun interlaces their fingers together.

Taeyong tips his head to deepen the kiss and he hold nothing back, kissing Jaehyun with every bit of hunger he has felt for so long while secretly crushing on his best friend. Everything feels so surreal right now and Taeyong’s mind is swimming with so many questions, but he decides he’s had enough thinking for last him a life time. Right now he chooses to just bath in this blissful feeling of kissing and being kissed by the person he loves.

“You are a good kisser.” Jaehyun whispers in the space between their lips after pulling away. He grins gleefully, sliding his nose gently against Taeyong’s.

“You could use some work. I’d be happy to help.” Taeyong lovingly caresses Jaehyun’s cheek, his thumbs trailing across the dip of Jaehyun’s dimples- Taeyong’s favourite dimples in the world.

Jaehyun laughs, unfazed by the insult. Taeyong’s heart threatens to burst with love and hope because of the way Jaehyun’s eyes are twinkling at him. “Jaehyunnie, what do you mean let’s be together?”

“It means I love you.”

The nerves forming knots in Taeyong’s belly slowly unfurl into happy flutters as Jaehyun’s word sink in. everything is so dizzying and he feels like it’s all a dream.

“I love you too.” He finally says. “I’ve always loved you.”

A huge smile stretches across Jaeheyun’s face. Taeyong promises himself to make Jaehyun smile this beautifully every day. “Come on,” Taeyong says quietly as he tugs Jaehyun towards him. They fall onto the couch, and Taeyong immediately curls into Jaehyun, laying his head on his chest and pulling the blanket up and over them, sighing in contentment when Jaehyun wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer, his nose nuzzling into Taeyong’s hair.

He listens to the steady thumping of Jaehyun’s heart as he interlocks their fingers again, and he smiles wide and silly when Jaehyun brings their joined hands up to his mouth and kisses Taeyong’s knuckles.

“This is so nice.” Taeyong says after a little while of just cuddling and basking in the each other’s presence.

“It does. Let’s always be like this, hyung.”

“Always.” Taeyong tips his chin up to place a kiss on Jaehyun’s lips, a kiss full of love and promises of happiness.

********

The performance has already started by the time Jaebeom gets to the lounge. On the way there he texted Youngjae to say he was coming after all, so Youngjae meets him outside.

Youngjae is so happy to see Jaebeom and he doesn’t bother being coy, prideful or subtle about it. He just opens his arms and pulls Jaebeom into a tight hug. He wraps his arms around Jaebeom’s neck and holds on tight.

It takes exactly 10 seconds for Jaebeom to get over his initial surprise at the unexpected hug, then he fully welcomes the affection and snakes his arms around Youngjae’s middle. 

Youngjae buries his face in the crook of Jaebeim’s neck and nuzzles against the warmth there. “I thought…” Youngjae trails off upon a shaky breath

“You thought I was blowing you off.” Jaebeom finishes for him. “I’m sorry you felt that way.”

_I’ll protect your feelings going forward,_ Jaebeom silently promises.

When they finally pull apart, Youngjae takes Jaebeom’s hand. “Everyone is waiting inside.

********

Youngjae leads Jaebeom to his booth and there are 3 people seated there. Jaebeom recognises Youngjae’s secretary, Joy and that’s it. She is sitting next to a tall guy with round cheeks and a friendly smile. To Joy’s other side is a small lady with a cute face and soft brown hair crowning it. Her wide kind eyes and the set of her thin lips remind him instantly of Youngjae, and Jaebeom is led to assume that this is his sister.

Indeed Youngjae introduces her as Yerim, his sister. The guy beside Joy is introduced as Johnny, her boyfriend. As far as introductions go, Jaebeom thinks this one is going very well. Everyone is nice and welcoming.

Well there is a sinister gleam in Yerim’s eyes and in the way she is smiling at her brother, especially when Youngjae introduces Jaebeom as his friend; but there is nothing unsettling about her reaction.

What Jaebeom does find off-putting is the fact that while Johnny invites Jaebeom to sit next to him, Yerim drags Youngjae all the way to the other side of the booth to sit next to her. There are a total of three people sitting between him and Youngjae and he doesn’t like it.

Youngjae isn’t too happy about the arrangement either. He links arms with her and Leans towards her, he whispering. “I was hoping I’d sit next to Jaebeom hyung.”

“Shh. I know what I’m doing.” She whispers back with a wink. “This is how we’ll know for sure how much he really likes you. Let’s see if he’ll miss you.” She ends there, looks away and goes back to singing along to her boyfriend’s song, effectively blocking any questions Youngjae obviously has.

Jaebeom glances at Yerim, Johnny and Joy then he cranes his neck to see Youngjae. Why the hell is he all the way on the other side? Jaebeom is more than a bit miffed by the distance and lack of close contact.

The lounge has a cosy and pleasant ambiance and the tall guy singing and rapping on stage- whom Jaebeom assumes is Yerim’s Chanyeol- is doing a pretty decent job of matching that by delivering a romantic song with his smooth vocals. The entire atmosphere is making Jaebeom suddenly wistful and melancholy about his situation with Youngjae. The truth is that even though they toss reservations out the window and choose each other like they really want to, the guilt will always linger and that will stand in between their love and true happiness.

Well half the happiness is better than no happiness at all, so Jaebeom throws caution to the wind and gets up and rounds the table all the way to go and sit next to Youngjae.

Youngjae’s jaw drops and he looks at his sister who is not doing a very good job of subtly smirking knowingly at them.

Jaebeom moves on the seat until he is pressed closely against Youngjae. His heart is beating so hard too as he reaches for Youngjae’s hand and interlaces their fingers. It’s a bit embarrassing since Youngjae’s sister and friends are looking, but Jaebeom doesn’t care. He’s so tired of caring. The only thing he wants to focus on is the adoration he can see shinning in Youngjae’s eyes, the love burning in his own heart, the physical attraction between them and how damn good it feels to hold Youngjae’s warm hand in his.

Youngjae is thoroughly surprised by what’s happening, but he is not complaining. Never one to miss a good opportunity, he grabs this one and scoots to the side a bit so that he can lean his head down on Jaebeom’s shoulder. A blissful sigh slips past his lips and he closes his eyes as Jaebeom’s cosiness and warmth surrounds him. His fluttering heart swoons some more when he feels Jaebeom’s shoulder shuffle a little so that Youngjae can be more comfortable.

Jaebeom peers down at Youngjae and gives into the urge to kiss Youngjae’s hair. He lingers a little there, using his free hand to gently push Youngjae’s bangs out of his eyes, and then he brushes his nose against the warm skin on Youngjae’s forehead before kissing it softly.

Jaebeom can see himself doing this for the rest of his life. He won’t find this feeling anymore.


	5. In too deep and no longer afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. i didn't update last week because i had challenges with chapter 5. while struggling with it, i completed chapter 6, so i debated whether to hold chapter 6 back until next week or to update both now. You guys have been so nice showing this story some love, so i decided to post both chapters at once.   
> The story started taking a slightly angsty turn in chapter 4, so you guys deserve some happiness and that's what you're getting in these 2 chapters. Expect a lot of Jaebeom/Youngjae, Jackson/Jinyoung, Jooheon/Changkyun and Shownu/Kihyun fluff.   
> Enjoy<3

After the performance, Chanyeol joins us at the table and Youngjae introduces him to Jaebeom. The first thing Jaebeom notices about Chanyeol is how tall he is and then what a cute baby face he has then finally how friendly he is. Chanyeol gives good vibes right when you meet him. Jaebeom has met few people like that in his life.

About two weeks ago Jaebeom would have freaked out meeting Youngjae’s family and friends because that would have meant he was getting in too deep. What means is the gladness he feels knowing that Youngjae likes him enough to introduce him to family and friends.

This dinner tonight with these people _is_ way too deep but Jaebeom just can’t bring himself to care of fear. He’s so done with all that now.

The jazz place they are at is also a restaurant and café, so everyone decides to stay longer and have dinner. Jaebeom appreciates their invitation for him to stay and join, so he does even though he’s eaten already. He doesn’t want to say goodbye to Youngjae yet, so certainly he can manage another light dinner for the sake of spending more time together.

Dinner goes pretty smoothly, well about as smoothly as it can with six people all conversing at one table. Topics of conversation really bounce around a lot but stick to a few mainly to music, the weather, league of legends, over watch, food and the weather. Sometimes everyone joins on one conversation and other times they break into units as the couples take moments to indulge in whispers, giggles, stolen kisses and blushing.

As the only two who are not officially a couple at the table, Youngjae and Jaebeom find themselves getting awkward and embarrassed one too many times.

Youngjae turns to Jaebeom with a huge and terribly awkward smile. “How is your food?” It’s the best and most interesting start to a conversation but right now it’s all Youngjae can reach for to distract from all the uncomfortably explicit romance at the table.

“Good.” Jaebeom’s lips stretch into a full smile, the kind that Youngjae knows means that Jaebeom is just a bit uncomfortable. “My burger is delicious.”

 _I’m sorry,_ Youngjae mouths to Jaebeom and discreetly gestures his head towards the others.

 _It’s okay,_ Jaebeom mouths back.

Youngjae smiles in relief and he is about to say something when Youngho cuts him, “so, Jaebeom, apart from taking care of people’s money, what are your other interests? You’ve barely spoken since you arrived. I hope you’re not uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine.” Jaebeom clarifies, meaning it. Chanyeol and Youngho seem to be very chatty, but they also seem nice and so far Jaebeom has no qualm with them.

“That’s good to hear.” Youngho smiles. “so, what do you like doing outside work? Sports?”

“I’m not good at that.” Jaebeom shyly rubs the back of his neck.

“aww that’s a shame. Chanyeol and I play basketball together. I was going to invite you to join.”

Jaebeom looks at Youngjae. “Do you also play?”

Yerim chuckles. “My brother has dodged sports since first grade.” She chortles and her brother stares daggers at her.

“I’m not that bad.” Youngjae desperately amends, not wanting to look bad in front of Jaebeom.

“It’s okay. I’m no good at any sport either. Not even one.” Jaebeom says reassuringly at Youngjae, who appears to feel better after hearing that.

“Aren’t you two just a match made in lazy heaven?” Joy coos

Youngjae blushes profusely and ducks his head, embarrassed. He takes a sip of his water, wishing he could press the cold glass to his burning cheeks without being obvious.

Without realising what he’s doing, Jaebeom slides his arm across Younjae’s shoulders, half resting it upon the back of their seat.

Youngjae notices the move though. Of course he does and the attention is very welcome. Youngjae peeks at Jaebeom who is so oblivious and calmly talking to Youngho and oblivious to the riotous beating of Youngjae’s heart. Youngjae supposes that’s his cue to relax as well, so he does, subtly moving a little closer against Jaebeom’s side to lounge more in the warmth there.

Jaebeom shares how his work is so taxing that he rarely gets the chance to enjoy his hobbies and Chanyeol immediately sympathises, also sharing how sometimes he feels like he has delved his toes into too many things at once and is now too busy even for his girlfriend.

“Its okay, Oppa.” Yerim croons, trying to pacify her boyfriend. “I like that you are a multitalented man who multitasks.” she kisses his cheek for good measure.

Smiling tenderly at Yerim, Chanyeol replies. “You’re so nice.” He leans down and pecks her on the lips.

At some point Youngho and Chanyeol zero in on the progress Chanyeol is making with his piano lessons. That’s when Jaebeom learns that Youngho is a professional pianist who gives Chanyeol lessons in his spare time.

By the time the dessert menu comes, Joy and Youngho announce that they have to leave.

“Why? Stay for dessert.” Yerim whines, pouting at her best friend.

“Sorry everyone.” Youngho says as he wraps his arms around Joy’s waist and rests his chin on her shoulder. “We have to shop for an anniversary gift for Joy’s parents.”

“What he means by that is I’ll do the suggesting and buying while he smiles and nods in all the right places.” Joy rolls her eyes. “So unhelpful.” She mutters the last bit under her breath, but everyone hears her anyway.

“Remember I made that suggestion and then you asked me not to make anymore?” Youngho gently reminds Joy. “I tried.” he shrugs.

“oh… right.” Joy cranes her neck to gives Youngho a quick kiss on the lips then she turns back to the table and makes a small wave of her hand. “bye bye guys.”

“Hold on, you two. Chan oppa and I are leaving too.” Yerim announces

“We are?” Chanyeol is caught off guard. Yerim not-so-subtly nudges him and gestures her chin at Youngjae and Jaebeom.

Chanyeol’s mouth forms an ‘o’ as realisation hits him. “Right. Okay let’s go.”

“Then we’ll leave too.” Youngjae says

“No.” Yerim sharply replies, holding out her palm to stop Youngjae when he starts to stand up. “You stay and enjoy dessert.”

Chanyeol stands up, “I’ll go to the cash register to pay for everything.”

“I’ll go with you.” Youngjo replies.

“You guys should let us chip in.” Jaebeom uses his thumb to point at Youngjae then at himself.

Chanyeol dismissively waves that off, “Not necessary. You guys can buy the next time we all hang out together. Deal?”

Youngjae tentatively glances at Jaebeom, uncertain whether there will be a next time.

Jaebeom feels Youngjae’s gaze upon him and turns towards it. The uncertainty and the questions are blatantly written in Youngjae’s eyes for Jaebeom to read. Without taking his eyes off Youngjae, Jaebeom makes his decision and voices it out. “Sure. Next time I’ll buy steak for everyone.”

Youngjae and Jaebeom stay like that for a little while, staring at each other and smiling.

“Alright that’s that then. We’ll be on our way now.” Yerim says and gets up. Does the same, ready to leave.

“It was nice meeting you, Jaebeom.” Youngho says and Chanyeol nods, smiling at Jaebeom.

“Likewise.” Jaebeom replies. “I had fun meeting you guys and eating together. Thanks for the invitation.”

Joy and Youngho bid their final farewells and take their leave towards the register. Chanyeol and Yerim are about to do the same, but Youngjae stops them. “Wait a second. Yerim, promise me that you’ll head home right away.”

Yerim peers up at her boyfriend and then nervously looks back at her brother with a pleading smile. “I’m going to Chan oppa’s place, but only for a little while. I will go back to my place eventually.”

“I’ll make sure she does.” Chanyeol puts on his winning and most convincing grin.

Youngjae looks doubtfully at one and then the other. “10pm. make sure Yerim is at her house by then or I’ll come banging on Chanyeol’s door.”

Yerim fondly rolls her eyes at her overprotective brother. “I’m dating the world’s biggest nerd. If you call me later tonight and I’m hyperventilating on the phone, it’s probably because Chan oppa and I are re-enacting an action scene from the movie deadpool.”

Jaebeom chuckles and Youngjae kicks his leg under the table. “Alright I get it. You can go.”

Yerim clasps her hands and giggles in glee. “Thanks oppa. You two have fun now. Goodnight.” she grabs Chanyeol’s hand and they skip off before her brother changes his mind.

Jaebeom is still grinning at Youngjae even after they’ve gone.

“What?”

“It’s nice seeing this overprotective side of you. I’ve only ever seen older people taking care of you. Seeing you take care of your little sister is new.”

“Well I could be better at it. She barely listens to me as you just saw.”

“She respects you. I can tell?”

“You really think so?”

“Definitely. The moment I walked in here, I could tell that she really looks up to you, and she adores you.”

“I’ll feel a whole lot better if she stops spending nights at Chanyeol hyung’s place.”

Jaebeom smiles softly. “They are adults. The kind of thing is normal. Let them enjoy being in love.”

Youngjae finally smiles as well, actually feeling better about the situation. “I’m sure you’re right. I really needed to hear that. You sure know what to say to a frustrated and worried big brother.”

“I spend a little of time talking down people who are panicking about their depleting trust funds, pension funds etc.”

“I can imagine.” Youngjae laughs

“More importantly, I hate to see you worried. I’m a pretty good judge of character and Chanyeol seems extremely harmless. I’m sure Yerim is in good hands.”

Youngjae nods, truly assuaged. “I’m really glad you came here tonight.”

“Me too. I like your sister and friends. They are a fun bunch.”

“We are all good people when we are not harassing each other.”

Jaebeom laughs at that. “I could tell you guys were holding back the teasing. Next time, don’t.”

Youngjae’s heart still feels so warm and so full because of how well Jaebeom got on with Youngjae’s squad. Youngjae can’t find the words to express how grateful he feels towards Jaebeom for opening up to the people who matter in Youngjae’s life. Youngjae can’t find the words to say how great it felt sitting beside him like a couple, conversing with other couples and being terribly familiar and domestic.

So what Youngjae does say is, “Shall we order some cake to complete an awesome dinner?”

“Yes please.”

*********

“Hello?” Jaebeom calls out as he enters Wooyoung’s house the next day in the morning.

“In the kitchen.” Wooyoung calls back.

Unsurprisingly Jaebeom finds San in the kitchen with Wooyoung. He is sitting on the kitchen counter with his arms and legs wrapped around Wooyoung like a koala while they are both looking at the phone in Wooyoung’s hands. 

Jaebeom harrumphs as he enters the room and the two look up from the phone.

“Good morning.” Wooyoung chirps in English.

“hi.” Jaebeom replies, taking a seat on one of the chairs at the kitchen island.

“you are just in time to make us some breakfast.” San says, smiling in a way that makes his eyes disappear to slits. Jaebeom likes his smile. It’s cute and sweet and unlike Wooyoung’s which looks like it’s meant to lure people into Satanism.

“what makes you think I’m here to feed you?”

“Wooyoung has told me about how good your baking is and that you plan on baking for us some time.”

Jaebeom sends his cousin a glare. “What other lies have you told your boyfriend?”

San shakes his head, without lifting his head from where his chin comfortably resting in the crook of Wooyoung’s shoulder. “Woo never lies to me.”

There is a smug grin on his face as he leans back into San’s embrace. “See? I’m an angel.”

Jaebeom rolls his eyes, but doesn’t respond.

“so I hear that you ended up playing match-maker last night.” Wooyoung begins, “how on earth did you achieve that?” he chuckles at the end. Jaebeom wants to throw something hard at him.

“Yes, hyung, pray tell us.” San adds

“I went to Jaehyun’s place to pick him up and I instantly noticed his friend with the creepy big eyes likes him.”

Wooyoung’s eyes widen in horror, “Oh my God, you noticed the eyes too, right?”

“Yes.”

“So scary.”

“Exactly. I didn’t want to get on his bad side, so I decided to hand over what’s clearly his.”

“Your match-making skills are superb. Jaehyun hyng texted this morning to tell us that he and Taeyong are a thing now.”

“Good for them.” Jaebeom smiles in realisation that he actually feels good about that. Apparently his cousin doesn’t let him enjoy that joy for long though.

“More importantly, hyung, it has become clear to us that you are undatable. That’s why I’ve decided that we should explore things with that Youngjae guy.” 

“I don’t need you deciding anything for me.”

“we will anyway.”

“Woo showed me a picture. He is cute.” San says.

Jaebeom gives his cousin a scandalised look, “where did you get a picture of Youngjae?”

Wooyoung waves it off with his palm, smiling crookedly. “We are now in charge of your dating life, so of course I had to show him what Youngjae looks like.”

“who is we? Why do you keep saying we?”

“WooSan.” Wooyoung replies simply

Jaebeom continues to stare in silence, maybe wishing Wooyoung and his boyfriend weren’t so disgustingly happy and in love. “do you two seriously refer to yourselves as that?”

“Of course. We are a team, a unit.” The seriousness on San’s face as he says that is a little rattling.

Jaebeom blinks, “Anyway, I’ve sort of decided to date Youngjae for real.”

Wooyoung lights like it’s the best news he’s heard all year. “Thank you. Finally.” He and San proceed to do some very interesting hand shake before turning back to Jaebeom with twin grins on their faces. “Since Mark hyung is still in the picture, you and Youngjae have to date in secret, right? We’ll help. It’ll be like helping a celebrity couple with their secret dates.” San offers.

“No. I’m putting my foot down.”

Wooyoung sighs in defeat. “Alright, hyung but at least allow us to meddle. It’ll be fun for us.”

San nods frantically. “Also, we’ll meddle anyway whether you like it or not.”

Jaebeom gives them both a bored, unsurprised look. “Did you call me here to tell me that you’ll continue being nosy?”

Wooyoung nods, “And to encourage you to date Youngjae.”

“Then you should have sent that in a text.” Jaebeom rolls his eyes. “After things didn’t work out with Jaehyun last night, I spent the rest of the evening with Youngjae and his family and friends.” It’s definitely not Jaebeom’s intention to mention that, but he finds himself sharing anyway because whether he likes the idea or not, Wooyoung can be an irritating brat but he’s the little brother Jaebeom never had. Jaebeom would rather die than ever admit it out loud but it’s true. 

Wooyoung’s face somehow brightens some more, interest piqued and he entangles himself from his boyfriend’s embrace to join Jaebeom at the kitchen island, taking a seat across him. San instantly jumps off the counter and follows Wooyoung. He wraps his arms around Wooyoung’s shoulders and holds on tight, resting his chin atop Wooyoung’s head.

For the second Jaebeom considers asking them if they are attached somewhere since it seems physically impossible for them to be apart, but he lets the fleeting thought go.

“Oh my God. How did that go?” Wooyoung asks.

“It was fun. They are a good bunch.”

Woyoung’s grin widens some more and he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at Jaebeom is the most greasy way possible. “You really like Youngjae. I can tell. Are you guys going to hang out again soon?”

“I guess so. I promised him we’d sign up for a cooking class.”

“Today?”

“I don’t know.” Jaebeom says hesitantly. “We were hanging out last night, so maybe it’s a bit too soon to spend time together again. I don’t want to seem clingy.” 

“hyung, this guy introduced you to his family and friends. I think he doesn’t mind spending time with you two nights in a roll.”

********

Yerim is spending her Saturday afternoon at Chanyeol’s house, particularly in his painting studio. He is sitting on the floor and working on a painting of a family of panda bears; while Yerim lounges on the brown leather couch, watching and chatting with him.

He’s telling her about a LEGO tour he wants to go to next weekend in Jeju Island.

“Are any of your friends going with you?”

“No. They said they’d rather be doing anything else.”

Yerim scowls. “That’s mean. So you’ll go alone?”

“I think so.” Chanyeol has his back to Yerim, so she can’t see his face but he knows he must be sad about this. Chanyeol has ever had trouble keeping friends because people find him a little too overzealous, whatever that means. Yerim always worries about his ever dwindling social life. It makes her unhappy how the few friends he has now act like he badgers them with his enthusiasm. It’s true that he tries a little too hard but that’s only because he really wants friends.

Yerim wishes people could appreciate his huge heart more. She sits up on the couch and smiles. “Do you mind taking a lady to your tour?”

Chanyeol pauses and turns around to face her, pouting in puzzlement. “Not really. Who do you have in mind?”

“I’ll go with you.”

His eyes widen. “Really? You’ll go with me?”

“I wouldn’t joke about something like that.”

Chanyeol’s entire face lights up and he gets up on his knees to go and give Yerim and hug and a kiss on the lips. “I wanted to ask but I thought you wouldn’t say yes.”

“Honestly I don’t care much about legos but I could never say no to hanging out with you.” Apart from protecting her man from going through life feeling like a lonely loser, Yerim genuinely likes spending time with Chanyeol. He has such a vast array of hobbies and she finds that ever fascinating.

“You’re so nice.” Chanyeol says then he kisses Yerim again.

Yerim smilingly puts her palms on either side of Chanyeol’s face and she’s about to kiss him again when he phone rings. Chanyeol groans in protest, but he quietly goes back to work.

Yerim picks her phone up and finds her brother’s smiling face flashing on the screen. “It’s Youngjae Oppa.” She gleefully announces.

“Say hi.” Chanyeol says over his shoulder.

“hello?” she Yerim answers her phone

“Hi Yeri. May I borrow your boyfriend this afternoon?”

“For what?”

“I need his help with something.”

“What’s going on?” Yerim can’t help being nosy.

Youngjae sighs on the phone. “Must you know everything?”

“Of course. It’s the only way I’ll say yes.”

“Then I’ll just call him.”

“No need. He’s here with me.”

Youngjae grumbles, “Fine. Jaebeom and I are hanging out at my place tonight and I need help setting up a romantic dinner. I thought Chan hyung’s interior design skills might help create a decent looking candlelight dinner.”

“Aww.” Yerim coos, clutching her chest. “That’s so sweet. Of course we’ll help you out. Let me talk to Chan Oppa and I’ll call you back.”

“Okay.” Youngjae hangs up.

Yerim leaps off the couch and goes to squat beside Chanyeol, looping her arms around his neck. “Great news.”

Chanyeol looks at her, “Yes?”

“Youngjae oppa is having a date with sexy accountant tonight, and he needs your help setting up a romantic dinner.”

Chanyeol grins so wide, matching his girlfriend’s excitement. “Romantic dinners already? I like where that’s going.”

“The best part is that if my brother is busy dating, he’ll stay out our business and you and I can do sleepovers more often.”

“Awesome.” Chanyeol raises his palm and Yerim smacks it. “Tell Youngjae that I’ll go help him in about 2 hours.”

Yerim squeals and pecks Chanyeol’s lips before getting up and rushing to get her phone on the couch.

********

Jinyoung ushers his last worker out there door and sighs in relief at the peaceful silence left behind in his coffee shop. Jungwoo, Haechan and Taeil are good people, even better workers and Jinyoung appreciates them a lot but half the time they are such a handful. Jinyoung has to let them leave early tonight because he can’t take another moment of their teasing.

Earlier today they happened to overhear Jinyoung talking on the talking with Jaebeom and telling him that Jackson is coming over here tonight to visit. In particular Haechan eavesdropped on the call and excitedly told the rest because they all feel that it’s time their boss got his dating life back on track.

Jinyoung doesn’t consider that inappropriate or meddlesome of them because he knows that they just care a lot about him. Before Jackson got super busy with his work in Hong Kong, he used to visit Jinyoung here a lot, even coming to Jinyoung’s work. That’s how Jinyoung’s workers met Jackson and ultimately fell in love with him too, because it’s literally impossible not to love Jackson Wang.

Since Jackson’s work eventually took a toll on his personal life and he stopped visiting as much, Jinyoung’s workers noticed of course, especially how hard that has been for Jinyoung. That’s why tonight they are only too happy to leave early to give Jinyoung and his boyfriend some time alone. Well that and the fact that they are young men who can’t pretend they enjoy working on Saturday nights when everyone else is out and about having fun.

Jackson’s announcement that he’s flying in to visit was so sudden that Jinyoung is still shocked. The idea isn’t unwelcome and of course he is always happy to see Jackson but after their recent argument, Jinyoung is just a little worried about what this visit entails.

Jinyoung hates meeting up here but it can’t be avoided seeing as Jinyoung’s weekend evenings are the busiest. On the phone Jackson didn’t sound like he had a problem with coming here.

While waiting for Jackson to arrive, Jinyoung locks up and embarks on cleaning the place. He sweeps and mops the floors, and wipes the tables and counters down before heading to the back to do some organising there as well. He even manages to take a quick shower in the small bathroom he recently had installed in his office to everyone to use when they need to freshen up on the very busy days.

*********

_Jackson: I’m outside_

Jinyoung reads the text over and over and his heartbeat gradually accelerates until he feels breathless from both anxiety and excitement. Fixing himself up one last time and making sure his jeans and button down shirt look, Jinyoung steps out of his office and rushes to open the café door.

Jackson is standing there with his face slightly flushed and hair a little tussled probably from the cool night wind. Jinyoung thinks Jackson also looks a little thinner than he remembers but he looks handsome all the same. It’s been so long since they so each other and all Jinyoung wants to do is hug Jackson and hold him tight, but he’s not sure he can do that now. After all they had a fight last time they really spoke.

Jackson senses Jinyoung’s reluctance and he understands why but he’s not having it. After months of not having Jinyoung is his arms and not being able to kiss him, to hell with their argument. Jackson steps forward and puts his arms around Jinyoung.

That’ all the invitation Jinyoung needs to throw his arms around Jackson like he really wants to. He melts in Jackson’s embrace and sighs at this feeling; the feeling of finally coming home.

It doesn’t make sense that they just stand there hugging at the door but they are doing it anyway.

Jackson is the first to pull back and he says, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Jinyoung replies and as soon as says it, Jackson presses his lips against Jinyoung’s. The tender touch they share makes everything around them disappear. There is a public walkway right behind Jackson with people passing by but that doesn’t matter right now. There isn’t anything else as important as the burning flame of their love.

Jackson’s lips feel a little cold probably from being out in the cold for a while but he tastes so good.

Something about this whole some feeling of being kissed soft and slow by Jinyoung makes Jackson feel like everything will be okay.

“Hi. “Jinyoung murmurs in the tiny space between their lips

“Hey.” Jackson replies with a tired smile.

Once they pull apart and all the initial excitement of seeing each other cools down a bit, Jinyoung takes a close look at Jackson as he finally invites Jackson inside to sit down. Jinyoung locks the door again and then he takes Jackson’s hand, leading him to a table to sit down.

Jackson looks around the place and takes in the surroundings. There is pride swelling in his chest at well Jinyoung has done for himself here over the past few months. Everything has changed since the last time Jackson was here. There is new furniture now, a different pain job and the entire place generally got a reinvigoration.

I was a more youthful and welcoming charm to it now. “I love it here. The atmosphere is just right.”

“Thanks. We are doing our best. I have great workers.”

“A good workforce is hard to find. I hope the beverages taste as good?”

“We’re getting better and better by the day.”

Jackson nods, a tiny smile touching the corners of his lips.

Something heavy settles in Jinyoung’s chest at the sight of a depleted looking Jackson. On the phone Jackson voiced out how stressed he has been, but Jinyoung didn’t expect to see Jackson in this state with shoulders slouched and tried lines all across his face. Jinyoung can tell that Jackson is trying to seem bright for Jinyoung’s, but Jinyoung can see right through it to the jaded look in Jackson’s eyes.

“You look terrible.” Jinyoung steps aside to let Jackson in and then locks up.

Turning back to Jackson, Jinyoung frowns at him. “Are you okay?”

Jackson nods and opens his arms for Jinyoung.

It’s a clear lie and Jinyoung wants to argue Jackson’s answer and try to get the truth out of him, but he is also weak with love and he missed Jackson a lot and deeply craves the feeling of being held by him. So he steps into Jackson’s arms and sighs contentedly, sliding his arms around Jackson’s neck as Jackson’s firmly wrap around Jinyoung’s waist.

Jackson buries his face in Jinyoung’s neck, inhaling deeply and drawing rejuvenation from His very scent. Next thing, Jackson’s plush lips where on Jinyoung’s and from then on, Jinyoung’s thoughts stopped as he allowed himself to just feel Jackson’s lips sliding against his own. Jackson slid his tongue inside Jinyoung’s mouth, licking and demanding his attention and affection. Jackson is not good at all the romantic stuff, but he hopes that with this kiss, Jinyoung can understand how much Jackson endlessly thirsts for him.

Jinyoung moans softly, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, letting himself shamelessly express his deep desire for Jackson.

*******

“Do you still like live music?”

Jinyoung is stunned by the random question, but nods anyway. They are seated at a table now, having coffee that Jinyoung quickly made for them. Jackson is very impressed with his cappuccino. 

“Then after this we should go to a place that hosts live music.”

“You came all this way to go listen to music I like?”

Jackson shrugs, smiling a little. “I missed you. There is a lot….” He abruptly trails off as if thinking better of what he was about to say. Shaking his head, he smiles wider. “I want to spend time with you.”

Jackson didn’t fly all the way to talk about his problems and the deep sadness or lonliness he feels. He came to smile and laugh with Jinyoung, to relive old happy times with the only person in the world who truly understands him and could never judge him. The hours he can spend here are few and precious, so he’d rather spend them enjoying himself with Jinyoung.

As much as Jackson is trying to hide his vulnerability, loneliness and angst, Jinyoung sees it all as clear as day and it’s breathtakingly heart breaking. He wants to reach out and touch Jackson, comfort him, make everything okay, but he doesn’t know how. Once upon a time was all brightness, enthusiasm, playfulness, embarrassing gab and friendliness and Jinyoung misses that time.

This Jackson in front of him is a completely different person who exudes nothing but silent gloom. Suddenly Jinyoung wants to cry because he remembers a time when he thought Jackson was too mouthy and told him to shut up. Now he wishes Jackson could talk more, open up, and share his problems.

“I want to have fun with you too but I don’t think I can ignore the pain I know you’re feeling inside.” About 4 months ago Jackson released an album and the public responded negatively to the effort saying it was trash. Jackson has always been one to take malicious comments to heart so he’s had a hard time emotionally since then while also working on what he hopes will be a better project.

“I’m doing my best to stay away from all that negativity nowadays. That’s why I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s good for you but what I also know is that people don’t get over stuff overnight.”

“Honestly I’m still very hurt by how the fans I thought would always have my back easily insulted my efforts and proceeded to lose faith in me so quickly.” Jackson finally admits.

Jinyoung can’t find the words to comfort Jackson and he doesn’t know how to protect him, so he does the only thing he can do. Abandoning his seat, he goes to Jackson and pulls him into his arms again, into a tight hug, this time nesting Jackson against his chest. Since Jackson is sitting down, it provides that tiny height difference they need for Jinyoung needs to cradle Jackson’s head against his chest while his other hand goes to smooth down Jackson’s broad shoulder in a comforting manner.

Jackson wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s waist and holds on tight, nosing his way further into Jinyoung’s chest, eyes squeezing shut as he presses closer to him. Warmth fills him and courses through his veins, making him feel like he can finally breathe for the first time in a long while. His breaths in Jinyoung’s sweet scent, letting it invade his senses and calm his raving emotions. He hates to see Jinyoung concerned like this, but a part f Jackson also can’t help relishing in this moment.

They stay like this for a while, simply holding each other, basking in the other’s warm. The hand cradling the back of Jackson’s head begins gently carding through his hair, and he hums in contentment at the feeling of Jinyoung’s fingers brushing against his scalp. What Jinyoung says next has Jackson’s heart soaring with love and gratitude.

“Your life is different and there is no way I can understand your pain, but but I’m here whenever you need me.”

Jackson pulls back slightly to look at Jinyoung, “I do need you. I’m so exhausted and I just want to be with you.”

“Okay. That’s what we’ll do then.”

Jackson smiles and goes back to resting his head upon Jinyoung’s chest.

*******

Jinyoung is happy to see Jackson looking a little more relaxed by the time they get to the restaurant. Jinyoung doesn’t know any of the artists performing on stage but the music is nice, and Jackson is sweet enough to match Jinyoung’s excitement as they eat their food.

“The chicken sandwiches here are so good.” Jackson comments as he takes another bite of his. He loves visiting outside Hong Kong because his manager can’t stop him from eating whatever he wants. He closes his eyes dramatically while chewing and then hums in appreciation.

Jinyoung smiles fondly. “Do you want another one?”

“I’m trying to enjoy myself not to get stuffed and bloated.”

“You can afford stuffed and bloated as long as you get a little more flesh on your bones. You’re too thin now.” Knowing Jackson, he’s been working to exhaustion every day.

“My album release is approaching that’s why I’m so busy. I’ll eat more and sleep better after all that’s done.”

“I hope so. How are things at Team Wang?”

Jackson catches Jinyoung up on work and how life generally is for Jackson back home.

“I never thought I’d say this but I feel more at home here with you than in Hong Kong where I grew up. Jackson smiles softly, “we _are_ doing something I like. I like being with you.” Being in the studio is very rewarding for Jackson and he loves being an entertainer, but latterly too many responsibilities have befallen him such that all he can do is work. In the process his beloved work has become a burden with endless hours in the studio, leaving no time for the other things he loves- like spending time with Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung smiles softly, warmed by the sentiment. “I miss you so much when you’re away. As you and I both get older, our lives are getting more rooted in our own countries. It’s getting harder and harder to pretend that this will ever stop being a long distance relationship.”

Jackson nods slowly. “I understand what you mean.”

 _Breaking up seems to be the obvious choice here_. They are both thinking it, but no one is brave enough to say it.

******

After dinner they go to the Han River to take a walk and talk more comfortably because it’s quieter there.

Jackson reaches for Jinyoung’s hand and takes it. “I’m sorry for insinuating that you and JB having been hooking up behind my back.” He says, figuring there is no easier way or better time to say it than now.

Jinyoung gives Jackson a side long glance and he sighs. “I was mad and hurt but I think the worst thing for me was that I understood where you were coming from. If I were in your position I would be jealous too.”

“I want to be your full time boyfriend, Jinyoung. I just don’t know how.”

“Me either.” Jinyoung shrugs helplessly.

Jackson abruptly stops and turns towards Jinyoung, forcing Jinyoung to come to a halt as well.

Jackson crowds in on Jinyoung’s space, arms circling his waist and tugging him close.

“I also don’t want to give up on us just yet. Please give me a chance to do better” Jackson’s eyes are wide and imploring, begging Jinyoung to agree and tugging on his heartstrings.

Jinyoung is so conflicted and it shows on his face. “I don’t know Jackson. We’ve been together a long time and I feel like what we have deserves our effort, but I’m also tired of fighting to make things work. I don’t want to waste what’s left of my youth fighting for what might be something I should have let go of ages ago.”

That hits Jackson real hard in the gut, but he would be lying if he says he’s never had similar thoughts. Jackson gives Jinyoung a sad smile. “What if _this_ is something we should fight for. What if we walk away and regret it later?”

“Sounds like regret is inevitable either way huh.” Jinyoung laughs bitterly and lowers his gaze.

Jackson curls his hand under Jinyoung’s chin to tip his face back up and then he kisses Jinyoung softly on the lips. “We also have nothing to lose if we try one last time. Just one.” Jackson’s wide eyes are twinkling with hope, the same kind of hope Jinyoung can feel blooming inside his chest.

“One last time.” Jinyoung concedes and he thinks the answer is already rewarding his with tiny little things like how beautifully Jackson is smiling right now.

“I really do love you, Jinyoung. Don’t forget that.” Jackson says.

Contentment fills Jinyoung and he can barely contain his delight. “I love you too, Jackson.”

*********

Chankyun has no idea what’s in store for him here and as much as he would like to keep pouting and acting mad at Jooheon, he is also just so ecstatic about his surprise. All Jooheon told him is that they are going to spend Saturday evening together at Jooheon’s place. They are here now, just entering the apartment but Chankyun is quite literally in the dark because he is blindfolded and Jooheon is helping him walk.

“Can I take this off now?”

“Just a bit longer. A little patience won’t kill you.” Jooheon softly chastises.

“Fine, but if you keep this up for longer than two more minutes, I’m protesting.”

Jooheon grins, loving Changkyun’s enthusiasm. It feels great having that much back after being iced by Changkyun for days.

“Okay we are here.” Jooheon announces once they are in the centre of his small lounge area. He’s a little nervous while sliding the blindfold away from Changkyun’s eyes. Changkyun blinks a few times to clear his temporal foggy vision. The first thing he notices is that the lights room are dimmed. The second thing to catch his eyes is the small table-with a ready-made dinner on it- and two folding chairs. The entire floor is decorated to look like an actual campground. Changkyun stares in fascination especially at what he assumes is the fake fire made out of pillows and blankets. Cardboard cut-out stars are dangling from the ceiling and In the background Changkyun can hear nature sounds- birds and crickets in particular.

Changkyun turns to Jooheon “what’s this?”

Jooheon steps closer beside Changkyun, took his hand and interlaced their fingers, “This is your surprise.” he explains simply. “Remember how you said you wanted to do an indoor camping thing? This is it.” 

Changkyun’s heart leaps for joy and he throws his arms around Jooheon, unable to conceal his delight. “Thank you, thank you, and thank you.”

Jooheon’s hope soars as well and he squeezes Changkyun tight.

Jooheon takes Changkyun’s hand after they pull apart. “Wanna see the inside of the tent?”

“sure.” Changkyun giddily nods.

Jooheon unzips the tent with his free hand and they squat on the floor to peer inside. Changkyun’s jae drops and his eyes widen comically as he takes in the charming interior. There is a lamp for light, a small matress on the floor with a blanket and throw pillow on top of it, a few plush teddy bears, books, torches and a lot more.

“We’ll read horror books and tell horror stories just like you wanted.” Jooheon explains.

Changkyun looks at Jooheon again with an expression full of tenderness. If he had a crush on Jooheon before, he is officially in love now. “This is amazing. You’re amazing. Thank you.” 

Jooheon smiles shyly, “You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it.”

“Can I go inside?” Changkyun points his chin at the tent.

“Sure.”

They both take off their house slippers and crawl inside the tent, sitting opposite each other with their legs folded underneath them. Changkyun grabs one plush toy and coos at it before hugging it. “I can’t wait to get this camping started.”

“In a bit. We should eat first.” Jooheon swallows thickly, his heart in his throat now because he is about to make the biggest confession he’s ever had to make. “I like you, Changkyunie.”

Changkyun’s heart sings with happiness so intense that it’s scaring him a bit, a level of joy he feels only when he’s with Jooheon. Changkyun wants to spend the rest of his life feeling this happy and that means he needs to make Jooheon his. “I like you too, hyung. Sorry I acted like a jerk after you went out with Mark hyung’s friend. I should have just told you straightaway how I felt.”

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have put you through all that. Next time someone asks me out on a date, I’ll tell them I already have….” Jooheon pauses, belatedly realising that he might sound over ambitious if he proceeds to say he has a boyfriend now. This conversation just started after all.

Ever quick to read Jooheon’s mind- in this case the doubts swimming in there- Changkyun smiles softly and reaches out to put his hand on Jooheon’s cheek and caress the smooth skin there. “Yes you better tell them that you already have a boyfriend.”

Jooheon’s heart warms with quiet but deep contentment and he leans into Changkyun’s touch. “I was hoping this could be our first date.”

“We can make it that.”

Heart beat racing, Jooheon sits up and he holds Changkyun gently, cupping his face with one hand before pressing his lips softly against Changkyun’s, sweet and slow.

Exhilarating warmth blossoms within Changkyun and he is breathless with delight as

Jooheon’s lips move from his lips to shower the rest of Chnagkyun’s face with gentle kisses.

Changkyun is thrilled beyond words to be the recipient of Jooheon’s affection.

Jooheon pulls back and sits back down, staring at Changkyun’s face, looking lovingly at him and enjoying the blush spreading across Changkyun’s face.

Warmth radiates from every spot that Jooheon’s lips just touched Changkyun’s, slowly spreading through the rest of him. He wants more. “Is reading, eating and scaring each other all we’ll be doing here tonight? I suggest we add a lot of making out too.”

“No argument here.”

Grinning victoriously, Changkyun tosses the bear aside, lunges at Jooheon, and throws his arms around him, crushing their bodies and lips together, deepening the kiss a whole lot more this time.


	6. Officially in love and in violation of the bro code

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2jae finally make it official in this chapter. much fluff ahead. i hope you'll enjoy the chapter

Jaebeom gets to Youngjae’s apartment at 7pm sharp and Youngjae opens the door to let him in. Jaebeom gets suddenly taken aback by the setting that greets him inside Youngjae’s apartment, and he stands in the entryway entirely surprised as he takes it all in.

To start with, the lights are all dimmed and scented candles are spread out all over the room. Jaebeom can’t quite tell what scent it is but it’s something floral for sure. The second thing he notices is the short path of red rose petals leading up to a small table for two. Jaebeom can see flowers and more candles at the table as well as some kitchenware. There is soft music playing in the background to compliment the romantic mood in the room. It’s all so unexpected but also breath-taking.

Youngjae is standing beside jaebeom and looking carefully at his face to gauge his reaction. So far the awe on Jaebeom’s face is a great sign.

Jaebeum turns towards Youngjae to say something and that’s when he really notices sees him, outfit hair and all. 

Youngjae looks different tonight. His hair was covering his entire forehead when he went to the bathroom but now it’s swept back on one side while his bangs fall into his eyes on the other, giving a perfectly alluring glimpse of half his rarely seen forehead.

Youngjae is usually dressed rather casually when they hang out, opting for a simple pair of jeans, t-shirt, sweater deal; but tonight he has traded that in for a pair of black dress pants, a sky blue button down shirt and white cardigan.

He looks stunning, and Jaebeom says just that.

“Thanks.”

“This whole place looks great.” Jaebeom waves his hand to gesture at their surroundings.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I wasn’t expecting something like this. Now I feel a little under dressed.”

Youngjae takes in Jaebeom’s shy, slightly mortified face and he just wants to kiss it. “Stop it. You look nice.” Youngjae reassures, and he isn’t lying. Maybe it’s that he is an accountant, but Jaebeom never really looks underdressed or too casual. Tonight he has on a pair of navy chinos, a white-shirt and a black blazer. In Youngjae’s opinion, he looks perfect for a candlelight dinner. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything but I wanted to surprise you.”

“I’m surprised alright.” Jaebeom smiles, moved by the thought of Youngjae going this far to set up a meal for them. It’s not that people don’t do nice things for Jaebeom. It just means a whole lot more coming from Youngjae. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Youngjae looks down at Jaebeom’s hands and sees the gift bag, flowers and…plush toy?

Following Youngjae’s line of vision, Jaebeom remembers what he’s holding and then hands it to Youngjae. “I brought you flowers and some wine.”

Younjae beams, reaching for the red roses first and bringing them to his nose to smell them.

“I had no idea we’d have a room already full of flowers. I guess you can squeeze them in somewhere.”

Youngjae shakes his head. “These are going to my room bedside table. They are really beautiful. Thanks.” 

Jaebeom smiles satisfied that Youngjae likes the flowers. He hands Youngjae the plush otter next and explains. “I saw this in a shop window and happened to think of you.” He shrugs.

Youngjae laughs, taking the otter and bringing it to his face to smash their cheeks together.

Jaebeom laughs. “The both of you are very cute.”

Youngjae finally takes the wine from Jaebeom and thanks him then gestures towards a pair of house slippers Jaebeom can slip into.

After Jaebeom is done with that task, Youngjae invites him to walk the rose petal path towards the table.

“Wow I feel like a prince.” Jaebeom chortles as he starts walking.

“That’s the whole point.”

*********

Even though Youngjae took put his best ware for this meal, he kept the meal pretty simple with simple parmesan spring chicken dish and some red wine to go with it. He invites Jaebeom to take a seat after which Youngjae takes his across him.

Jaebeom looks around again, still amazed by everything. The flattering in his belly won’t stop and every second he spends looking away from Youngjae feels like such hard labour. Jaebeom wants to keep staring and staring at how striking Youngjae looks in candlelight, but maybe that could get a little creepy.

Youngjae had to admit that he was a little sceptical about all this, thinking Chanyeol’s idea was a little much. Now he wouldn’t trade this moment for anything else. It’s so satisfying seeing the awe in Jaebeom’s eyes and that’s only the icing on the cake. The romantic setting suits Jaebeom so well and he looks utterly stunning. Youngjae can’t look away.

“I’ll pour us some wine.” Youngjae announces and proceeds to do so. “I just warmed the food, so everything is ready to eat. Shall we dig in?”

“I can’t wait. It looks delicious.”

“I hope it tastes as good as it looks.” Youngjae chuckles uncomfortably, suddenly nervous thinking about his subpar cooking skills.

Jaebeom notices the anxiety on Youngjae’s face and he tries to reassure him. “I’m sure everything is good.”

They start digging in as soon as Youngjae is finished pouring the wine. The food does turn out to be delicious, surprising even Youngjae. His face brightens in delight and pride.

As if on cue, “This is delicious.” Jaebeom comments

“I think I’m getting better at this cooking thing. This time I did 30percent of it.”

“And the other 70percent?”

“Chanyeol hyung helped me. Actually he helped me put this whole thing together.”

“Your honesty is refreshing. Not a lot of people would admit that.”

“I’m not embarrassed about asking for help. No one is good at everything.”

Jaebeom takes another bite of his chicken and he waits until he’s swallowed to speak. “This is so good. Chanyeol hyung seems talented at a lot of things. I might have to ride off into the sunset with him.”

“Not if I cripple your damn horse first.” Youngjae threatens with a sweet smile and they both break into laughter.

*********

After dinner, they retire to Youngjae’s couch to drink more wine and chat. Youngjae has a movie playing on TV now but no one is paying attention. Jaebeom can’t even remember what it is or care enough to find out. The view he’s interested in is right in front of him.

Youngjae is telling Jaebeom some funny stories about Coco and while they are too preoccupied with laughing and talking that they don’t realise that they are actually gravitating towards each other on the couch.

By the time Youngjae realises what’s happening, their knees are touching and Jaebeom’s arm is resting over the back of the couch, just behind Youngjae’s neck and mostly slung over Youngjae’s shoulders. Youngjae feels his insides burst into flames and tingles at the close proximity. He ducks his head shyly, looking at Jaebeom under his lashes.

He’s so lost in Jaebeom tonight that there is no room for any reservations at all possible. Youngjae is so done holding back.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” Jaebeom asks with a grin like he knows exactly what he’s doing to Youngjae.

The truth is that Jaebeom does know what he’s doing and he’s extremely pleased that his quiet seduction is working. The moment he sat down at the dinner table with Youngjae earlier, he decided he’s not leaving this apartment tonight without kissing Youngjae. Things like guilt and hesitations are the furthest things from Jaebeom’s mind tonight.

Tonight he’s just a man who is deeply enthralled by Youngjae.

“No. I’m fine.” Youngjae smiles, trying not to squeak or choke because his mind is intoxicated by the wine and filled with thoughts of kissing Jaebeom. He wants to kiss Jaebeom so badly. He’s always wanted that since that morning they met all those years ago in Uni. He wonders if he can make his wish come true tonight.

“Good.” Jaebeom shifts even closer.

Youngjae does actually choke on his wine then. If Jaebeom moves a closer Youngjae’s heart might beat out of his chest. Its torture; very sweet torture having the object of his desires hovering over him like this with his broad shoulders, charming smile, kissable porcelain skin on his neck and the long dark hair that Youngjae’s hands have been itching to touch on all evening.

Oh God now he’s wondering if Jaebeom would like it if Youngjae tugged on his hair while they kissed.

Jaebeom crowds in on Youngjae, eyeing him concernedly as a coughing fit assails Youngjae. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Jaebeom asks again

Youngjae nods, thankfully able to put himself together rather quickly.

Jaebeom moves back a bit to give him just enough room to breathe. “Okay.” He smiles. “Where is Coco by the way?”

“I asked Chanyeol to babysit her tonight.”

“So it’s just us here?”

“Just us.” Youngjae confirm, his gaze dropping to Jaebeom’s lips again because it’s impossible not to be drawn in by them. I look back up at his eyes and they are gazing into mine like he is looking far beyond my face. I almost shudder at the yearning glimmering in there.

Jaebeom’s gaze slides to Youngjae’s lips, making it obvious to Youngjae that they have the same thoughts in mind. Youngjae knows what’s about to happen and he’s so ready.

Jaebeom has waited years to kiss Youngjae and now that he’s finally about to, his heart is threatening to thud right out of his chest. his hands get sweaty and shaky as he's leaning forward.

Jaebeom touches his forehead to Youngjae’s, “I like you so much.” he breathes shakily.

“I like you too, hyung.” Youngjae whispers back then finally, finally Jaebeom’s lips meet his, gentle but passionate. The world around Youngjae melts away so that he can lose himself in this moment. His heart flutters as he kisses back, cherishing the moment and the intoxicating feeling of kissing the man of his dreams.

Youngjae’s lips are so soft, so warm and so addicting. Jaebeom wraps his free arm around Youngjae, pulling me closer to him. Youngjae’s left arm slides around Jaebeeom’s neck and they press closer against each other as the kiss deepens.

Jaebeom can’t believe he’s gone for so long in life without tasting Youngjae’s lips. There is no going back from this. After tonight he won’t be able to eat, sleep, work or breath without Youngjae invigorating him with kisses like this. 

They reluctantly pull back and smile.

Jaebeom holds Youngjae’s smooth, warm cheek in the palm of his hand. “I won’t hold back any longer.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Youngjae breathes, sounding as relieved as he feels to finally hear Jaebeom say those words.

“I am completely incapable of ignoring stray cats and I’ll probably adopt them all when I get my own place. I will also require you to kiss me like this whenever you’re within reachable distance. Will you still have me as your boyfriend?” Jaebeom grins hopefully

Youngjae laughs wholeheartedly. “It sounds like a great offer. I’ll take it if you’ll have both me and my child Coco.”

“Yes to whatever you are and whatever comes with having you in my life full time.” Unable to resist, Jaebeom presses their mouths together again to solidify the deal.

*********

Minhyuk wrinkles his nose is distaste when he enters the trashy drinking establishment his friend is supposed to be in. The place isn’t even crowded but it feels stuffy and uncomfortable because the music is so loud, there is a foul smell, there is stuff sticking to the bottom on Minhyuk’s shoes as he walks, the disco lights are blinding and everyone in Minhyuk’s eyeshot looks like an armed robber. Seriously how the hell can Kihyun come to a place like this, Minhyuk wonders?

They need to have a serious conversation later about Kihyun’s taste in clubs. Thankfully Minhyuk doesn’t have to search too hard to find Kihyun. He finds him slumped over the bar, left cheek down on the surface. Minhyuk recoils in disgust because, how on earth could anyone put their face on a surface so clearly full of germs?

“Kihyun! He shouts as he approaches, but realises it useless because the music is so damned loud. So he gets closer and nudges Kihyun.

Kihyun lifts his head off the bar and looks up, blinking a few times until he recognises his friend. His face lights up. “Minhyuk. You came.”

Minhyuk has to lean in very close to hear or say anything. “Of course I did. What the hell are you doing here?”

Kihyun’s smile falls and he looks back down at his bottle of beer. “I can’t go home.”

“What the hell not? Did something happen with Shownu?”

Kihyun lifts his gaze again, his eye imploring as he asks Minhyuk. “Can I stay with you for a little while?”

“What happened, Ki?”

Kihyun’s lips twist, matching the relentless searing guilt twisting in his gut. “I made a huge mistake and I think I went too far this time.” His voice trembles as he blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.

Minhyuk doesn’t understand any of what Kihyun is on about but the one thing he does know is that this is no place to have a conversation, so he helps Kihyun up and they leave the bar. Minhyuk drives them to his place and while Kihyun is in the shower, Minhyuk calls Shownu. It’s the right thing to do.

Shownu’s knees literally give out under him and he slumps against his car couch as relief washes over him when Minhyuk tells him Kihyun is at his house.

It’s common knowledge that Kihyun does the weirdest and most destructive things when he’s feeling disheartened. Shownu has been a huge anxious mess since Kihyun disappeared and turned his phone off 3 hours ago. Shownu has been running around town searching for Kihyun and frantically calling everyone they know to ask if they’ve seen Kihyun.

“How did you find him?” Shownu asks Minhyuk on the phone.

“He texted me and I found him at some gross bar. He’s alright. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Minhyuk. I’ll be right over.”

“Drive safe.”

*********

Kihyun gets out of the shower and changes into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt Minhyuk has laid out for him on the bed in the spare bedroom. After drinking alcohol, crying, drinking some alcohol and then crying again in the shower just now, Kihyun is extremely thirsty but he can’t muster the energy to go and get some water. He just wants to sleep until the pain in his chest goes away, so he pulls the covers back on the bed and gets in, falling asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Kihyun is rudely yanked from his slumber by someone pulling him up and hugging him. He slowly opens his eyes and groans at the sharp pain shooting in his temples. His head is pounding and he feels so disoriented.

“Thank God you’re okay.” Shownu murmurs, holding Kihyun tight in his arms.

Shownu pulls back and holds Kihyun at arm’s length, schooling him to make sure he isn’t hurt anywhere.

At this point Kihyun’s has woken up and he realises what’s happening. “Why are you here?” he frowns, confused.

“I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Kihyun knocks Shownu’s hands off him. “You should leave.” his eyes dart to avoid Shownu’s gaze

“I’m not leaving here without you.”

“I kissed our neighbour.”

“I know. He told me when he came over to our place to apologise.”

“a-aren’t you upset?” Kihyun fumbles with his fingers, teeth worrying his lower lip.

“About what? How you’re trying to sabotage our relationship?”

“Kihyun’s eyes widen in shock. “You know?”

“of course I do. None of whatever crap you’ve been doing lately makes sense. I know you’re not that kind of person, so naturally it’s obvious you’re doing it all on purpose to goad me into dumping you.” Shownu feels anger start building up and swelling in his chest. “Just so you, that hurts.”

The guilt eating at Kihyun’s insides only intensifies and he’s suddenly lost for the right words to say in this situation. Maybe there aren’t any. He lowers his gaze again in shame. He feels so stupid right now. Of course Shownu can see through everything for what it is. “I think we should break up.” Kihyun mutters to his clasped hands.

“No.”

Kihyun looks up, stunned. “What do you mean no?”

“No.” Shownu repeats like that is all the explanation Kihyun needs to understand.

“I can’t do this anymore, hyung.”

“What can’t you do?”

“I’m tired of feeling unworthy all the time. I constantly feel like you are too good for me and I do something stupid to push you away then I feel guilty for hurting you. I can’t anymore. I just can’t.” Tears are brimming in his eyes and he lets them fall so that maybe the crushing agony in his chest will stop. Instead the ache in his head worsens. 

Shownu wordlessly takes Kihyun into his arms again and squeezes so that Kihyun doesn’t try to push him away- something he can tell Kihyun wants to do. “Please let me go.” Kihyun cries on Shownu’s shoulder.

“I have no reason for doing that. I’m quite insufferable too. You only think I’m too good because you constantly beat yourself up about everything. You and I are perfect together. I’m sure of it.”

Kihyun wants to believe it too but there is a voice in his head telling him otherwise. The voice is loud and persistent. It never quiets down, not even when he’s alone. When he falls in love it tells him he doesn’t deserve it and when he’s alone it tells him he’s alone because he’s unlovable.

“I don’t know what to do. Everything just hurts.”

“I know baby. Let me help you.”

“I know you’ll leave like the others, so let’s just get it over with.”

I’m sorry that the people you loved in the past gave up on you. I won’t do that to you. I promise to at least try to work through this with you.” Shownu draws back and looks at how hard Kihyun is crying. It breaks his heart seeing someone who has so much potential to be bubbly riddled with gloom all the damn time. “We’ll help you get through this even if I have to join you in therapy.” He promises, meaning every word, and he punctuates it with a kiss on Kihyun’s forehead.

Quivering lip caught between his teeth, Kihyun looks up to meet Shownu’s gaze. “You would do that for me?” he tearfully asks. 

“To be honest I’ve been thinking of couples counselling as well for a while. If you don’t mind I could also go with you to some of your sessions with Doctor Choi. We have nothing to lose from trying. We’ve already almost hit rock bottom in this relationship and the only way is up. The question is do you want to be with me?”

“More than anything in the world.” Kihyun admits right away even though there is an internal battle going on deep within himself.

Shownu can tell Kihyun is still conflicted. He reaches up to hold Kihyun’s face in his palms and wipe his tears away with his thumbs. Looking beseechingly into Kihyun’s watery eyes, Shownu pleads. “Let’s keep trying to make this work. Give me a chance to make you happy.”

Fear crosses Kihyun’s face as sadness continues to cloud his features entirely. “What if-”

“No more what ifs or assumptions. We’ve done a lot of thinking so far, don’t you agree? All I’m asking now is that you just have a little bit of faith in me and in us. Stop trying to sabotage what we have and focus on trying to make it work. How about that?”

The load ever weighing heavy in Kihyun’s heart feels a little light now, giving way to the hope unfurling in there. “You’re so good me. I’m so sorry for purposely trying to hurt you.”

“I know you are. It’s okay. Let’s just move on from all that.”

Kihyun nods vehemently, throws his arms around Shownu’s neck and pulls him down for a kiss.

*********

“Jackson is a traitor. I can’t believe he came all the way here and didn’t bother to see Mark and I.” Jaebeom complains. It’s Monday night and he, Mark and Jinyoung are having movie night at Mark’s place. The coffee table in front of them has a vast array of unhealthy snack and they are all seated on the couch while Mark browses for something for what movie they can watch on Netflix. 

“I’m going to call him just to yell.” Mark says

“It was a quick visit.” Jinyoung defends. “Not even I got to see Jackson as much as I wanted to.”

“But it was sweet of him to come all the way just to see you. Admit it!” Jaebeom smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung turns scarlet and he throws a piece of popcorn at Jaebeom.

“Did you guys talk things out?” Mark asks Jinyoung

“We agreed to try one last time.”

“ _Last_?” Jaebeom repeats incredulously. “That doesn’t sound too good.”

“Jackson admitted that he’s been falling as exhausted as I feel about this long distance relationship thing and he agrees that we are on the verge of breaking up, but he says we should give it one last shot.”

Mark wraps his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders. “Then this is a last chance that will work out. I have faith in you and Jackson.”

“Me too.” Jaebeom adds. “Relationships have tough times but it doesn’t always mean the end. You and Jackson will get passed this someday.”

“And whatever happens, it’s better to say I tried than to regret not having tried.” Mark adds

“I really hope you’re both right.” Jinyoung smiles a little sadly

“we’re here for you if need anything. You know that, right?” Jaebeom says

“I do. Thanks, guys.”

Mark fondly ruffles Jinyoung’s hair and turns his attention back to the TV. “What should we watch?”

“A horror.” Jaebeom suggests

Jinyoung shakes his head. “It has to be phantasy or nothing.” 

Mark waves his friends off and says, “Okay I’m going to disregard all that and pick a comedy.”

*********

On Wednesday evening, Youngjae and Jaebeom make their way to room 51 of the office complex to kick start their cooking lessons already. They find the room without any struggle and a few people are already there even though the class doesn’t start in another 20 minutes or so.

There is a notice board on the wall just inside the door and there is a menu on there. Jaebeom and Youngjae stop by to see what’s listed. Apparently this evening the class will be making simple grilled sandwiches. The techniques to be applied and learned are all listed there as well.

“Looks manageable for beginners like us.” Jaebeom says

“I love sandwiches. I can’t want to start.” He chirps sin excitement.

“Let’s go talk to the chef and introduce ourselves. That should be him.” Jaebeom gestures with chin at the man seated at the big table in front of the room, on his ipad.

They cross the short distance to the front of the desk and Jaebeom voices out a greeting.

The man lifts his gaze from his ipad and he’s about to respond when he freezes as recognition dawns on him.

“Jaebeom!” he finally says, surprised.

Jaebeom is just as stunned. “Ryeowook hyung?”

“Oh my God it is you.” Ryeowook rises to his feet and quickly walks around the desk to give Jaebeom a hug while Youngjae squints at the man trying to remember where he’s seen him before.

“How have you been?” Ryeowook asks Jaebeom, holding him at arm’s length.

“I’m doing great since I’ve been back. You?”

“I’m fine.”

Jaebeom and Ryeowook finally step back from each other and Jaebeom does the introductions, after which he asks Ryeowook and Youngjae if they remember each other from university.

“We went to University together?” Youngjae is surprised.

“I remember you.” Ryeowook smiles warmly at Youngjae. “I saw you hanging out with Jaebeom, Jackson, Jinyoung and Mark sometimes. I know because I used to date Jaebeom.”

Oh! _That_ Ryeowook. Youngjae remembers now.

“It’s nice to see you again.” Youngjae replies.

“You too.”

Jaebeom joins the conversation again, talking to Ryeowook. “So you’re a chef now?”

“Well remember when I cooked for you and you’d tell me to become a chef already? Good times. Anyway I finally listened and went with it.”

“That’s nice. Good for you.”

“I couldn’t get you into cooking no matter how hard I tried. What’s changed?”

Jaebeom clears his throat and steals a very quick glance at Youngjae. Ryeowook doesn’t miss it. “I’ve changed a guess. I’ve grown up a bit.”

“Okay.” Ryeowook nods slowly and it looks like he is testing Jaebeom’s reason. “Well it’s good to see you. You look great.”

“You too.”

“Welcome to my class and I hope you’ll both enjoy your culinary journey with me. We’ll discuss the payment plan after this class. For old times’ sake your beginner class will be for free.” Ryeowook says most professionally

“Thanks very generous of you. Thanks.” Jaebeom grins.

“We should have drinks some time, Jaebeom. Just to catch up.”

“I’d like that.” Jaebeom is actually not lying about any of this. He is glad to see Ryeowook. Their relationship wasn’t bad and their breakup was more of an agreement to part ways. Ryeowook is a really wise and smart person who often helped stir Jaebeom in the right person with important life decisions in the year they were together. It would be great to learn more about what Ryeowook is up to these days.

Meanwhile Youngjae is glaring at Jaebeom’s exchange with an ex who is too attractive for Youngjae’s comfort. Probably the worst part of the situation is that Youngjae understand why Jaebeom is smiling so hard at Ryeowook and why he seems to still be hang-up on the guy. Ryeowook is very pretty and seems sweet and stylish, the kind of person that’s impossible to hate and certainly the kind you never really forget. Maybe Youngjae likes him a little too. It must be the adorable high cheek bones, Youngjae concludes. Who can resist those?

Ryeowook and Jaebeom dated for so long and it’s obvious there are no hard feelings anywhere between them. They’ve just reunited and they are already all smiles, gentle tons of voice, invitations to hang out and free cooking class sessions. Youngjae isn’t sure he’s comfortable with this.

Ryeowook points them in the direction of our work stations and the entire time Youngjae has the sinking feeling that this class is going to suck. All the excitement he felt walking into this room is completely gone.

*********

On the way to the parking lot, Jaebeom is talking to Youngjae about the sandwiches they made in cooking class- in particular how Jaebeom’s looked way better than Youngjae’s which looked like he previously used to smack someone with- while they walk hand-in-hand. Youngjae just listens, humming and nodding in what he hopes are the right places. To be honest he’s not so excited about taking a class with his boyfriend’s ex.

By the time they get to their cars, Jaebeom as realised something is wrong. Jaebeom goes to slump against the hood of his car, taking Youngjae’s other hand as well and pulling him closer until he is standing right in front of Jaebeom. “What’s wrong?” Jaebeom asks without preamble.

Youngjae takes a deep breath, wondering if it’s worth it to spoil Jaebeom’s excitement. Maybe it’s not. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“It didn’t look like you enjoyed yourself very much in there.”

“It was okay.”

A tiny smile touches the corners of Jaebeom’s lips. “how shall I persuade you to tell me the truth?” he wonders out loud. “Should I buy your honesty with a kiss? Two? Three?”

Youngjae smiles for the first time since they left the class. “Maybe just two.” He mutters shyly.

Jaebeom smilingly leans up and tenderly kisses Youngjae twice on the lips. “Like that?”

Youngjae nods happily but a grimace replaces that not long after. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea to take lessons from your ex.”

Realisation finally dawns on Jaebeom and he suddenly feels so stupid. Of course Youngjae is uncomfortable with the arrangement. Anyone would be. He slides his hands out of Youngjae’s in favour of wrapping his arms around Youngjae’s waist. “It’s not a good idea.”

Youngjae rests his forearms on Jaebeom’s shoulders, connecting his hands behind Jaebeom’s neck. “Wow. I thought I’d have to try harder to convince you.”

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I was very uncomfortable in there. Just so you know, I’m the jealous and possessive type.” Youngjae says with a very serious look on his face.

Jaebeom huffs out a surprised laugh. “I never would have guessed you seem so sweet.”

“You mean tame. No I’m not tame at all, especially not when it comes to you. I waited years to have you and I’m going to make sure things stay this way. No one is snatching you from me.”

As surprised as Jaebeom is by this new side of Youngjae he’s only discovering now, he can’t deny the allure it. It sure feels great to be desired this much and Youngjae looks really damn hot about it.

“I won’t anyone take me away from you either. I promise.”

“I trust you.”

“Thank you. So can I have drinks with Ryeowook hyung? He already invited me and all.”

Youngjae’s expression sours a bit. “Alright you can go but I don’t expect you to stay friends after.”

“Might I also assume that we are quitting his cooking class?”

“Yes we are.”

“Will you feel better then?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll talk to Ryeowook hyung and tell him we are discontinuing.”

The sour look on Youngjae’s face softens into a sweet smile. “Thank you for understanding my feelings without argument or complaint.”

Jaebeom answers Youngjae with a slowly, loving kiss.

********

Jaebeom arrives at the bar and grill before Ryeowook does, and he orders two beers to start with. Ryeowook arrives not long after, looking great too in blue jeans and a light grey blazer Jaebeom notes.

“I hope I’m not late. Sorry to keep you waiting.” Ryeowook says as he takes his seat.

“It’s okay. The beer I ordered for you is still cold.”

“Thanks.” Opening the bottle, Ryeowook takes a huge swig

Jaebeom smiles at him, “Tough day?”

“yes.”

“I love kids, but they can be a nightmare.”

“kids?”

“I run a day care centre.”

“really? What about your business degree?”

Ryeowook wrinkles in nose is distaste, a way Jaebeom is very familiar with, a way that’s still very cute. “I never had interest in that. I finally told my mother.”

“Was she supportive?”

“Hell no. she threw me out.”

“Ouch! Sounds like you had a hard time.”

Ryeowook shrugs and takes another swig, “there was luck to be hard in the unfortunate circumstance. I met a nice guy while looking around for cheap studio apartments. He is a realtor.”

“That’s great.” Jaebeom says not just to be polite, but because he is genuinely glad that Ryeowook found love again.

“Yeah.” Ryeowook mutters absently, gaze fixed on his beer and there is a soft smile playing on his lips. He appears to be thinking about a fond memory.

After a little while he looks back up and smiles, “what’s up with you?”

“Should we order some food first?” Jaebeom asks because he hasn’t had dinner and drinking on an empty stomach sucks. 

“sure. We can grill some pork.”

“sounds great.”

********

Grilling and eating their food, Jaebeom fills Ryeowook in on his latest work endeavours and Ryeowook listens attentively, wearing a proud smile the entire time.

“I always knew you could do big things. I mean you were lazy as hell when we were together, but the passion was there.”

“What I didn’t foresee was working with my annoying cousin.”

Ryeowook laughs out loud at that. “How is Wooyoung?”

“he’s still irritating as ever.”

“I always liked him. He is sweet.”

“Still irritating.” Jaebeom mutters under his breath.

Ryeowook grins. “I’m curious about something concerning your personal life. May i ask?”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“So you and Youngjae walk into my cooking class the other day and Youngjae starts glaring at me. Then the two of you proceed to look rather cosy and very familiar? Didn’t he used to date your friend Mark?”

Jaebeom laughs awkwardly. “Youngjae and I are dating now.” 

Ryeowook’s lips form an ‘o’, his eyes widening a little as the picture gets clearer for him. “Oh.” He pauses for an uncomfortably long time. “And Mark?”

“he doesn’t know…yet. For obvious reasons.” 

Ryeowook shakes his head, not particularly looking disappointed as such. Disapproval is a more accurate word for the expression his face. “Look JB, all that is your business and I really don’t want to lecture you. I’m only concerned as someone you still cares deeply about you. Is it wise to date your friend’s ex?”

“No and I know that, but it couldn’t be helped. I honestly tried to stir clear of him but nothing worked.”

“Take it from someone who has a lot of experience with relationships. The thing with youngjae only seems too burn hot because it’s wrong. The allure is in the violation of the bro code.”

“I’ve liked him for years though. Since Uni.”

Ryeowook appears to get even more shocked but he doesn’t comment on that one. “Wow!”

“Yeah.”

“The two of you looked really happy together. That’s nice and all. Just don’t forget that the consequences are unavoidable. It’s harder for you and Youngjae to expect a happy ending since you are the bad guys in the situation. I know that’s harsh but it’s true.”

It _is_ indeed a harsh reminder of reality but one Jaebeom needed to hear nonetheless.

The rest of their dinner and conversation goes alarmingly smoothly and for a second Jaebeom wonders why they broke up at all, but almost instantly realises things just don’t work out sometimes.

After two lively hours of catching up with Ryeowook, Jaebeom decides to call it a night.

“We should keep in touch, you know.” Ryeowook says. “We are not enemies.”

“That’s a great idea, except I have a jealous boyfriend now, so….” Jaebeom trails off, assuming Ryeowook gets the idea

Ryeowook laughs, also surprised. “Youngjae? He looks like a cherub. I guess I misread him.”

“Me too.” Jaebeom laughs as well. “That means we can’t take your cooking class either. I had a great experience there though. You’re doing and wonderful job there.”

“I understand. I appreciate you meeting me for dinner despite all that. It’s been nice catching up.”

“This has been fun for me too.”

“Could you wait a little longer before leaving? It’s just that my boyfriend is on his way and I don’t want to wait for him alone.”

“Are you sure that’s not an excuse for you to show off your new awesome man?” Jaebeom teases and just like that they easily fall back into conversation. Eventually Ryeowook’s boyfriend shows up. While Ryeowook gets up to greet him with a hug and a kiss, Jaebeom eyes the guy curiously. He’s about average height, very lean, has very attention-grabbing pretty face, stylish outfit and when the guy’s gaze turns to Jaebeom, it’s with a very neutral and just slightly uninterested look on his nearly unrealistically handsome face. Maybe it’s the cold look the guy has on his face or something else- Jaebeom can’t be sure- but he is sensing feelings of dislike emanating from the guy.

“Jongwoon hyung, this is Jaebeom.” Ryeowook introduces, pointing at Jaebeom.

“Hi.” The guy makes a slight bow at Jaebeom who does the same. “I’ve heard about you. Nice to meet you.” Finally his face shows some emotion as he smiles at Jaebeom.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Jaebeom says with a smile of his own.

Just as Jaebeom is about to conclude that maybe he is overthinking the malice he is sensing in Jongwoon, the guy looks fondly at Ryeowook and says, “I don’t know, but I think you traded up.”

Ryeowook playfully smacks his boyfriend on the arm.

Jaebeom grins at that, choosing to take that as a joke what Jongwoon just said. On that note, he decides it’s his cue to leave.

********

Ryeowook and Jongwoon stay a little longer even after Jaebeom leaves, but they move to a booth because that’s cosier. They’re just talking over drinks, Jongwoon sharing about his day at work and how he can’t wait to make enough money to quit his job.

Ryeowook regards his boyfriend, schooling his facial expression and trying to gauge his mood. It is more common to see Jongwoon wearing an unimpressed and aloof expression than to see him smiling, but Ryeowook can detect something different. What’s more, Jongwoon’s voice is a little more monotone than usual.

Ryeowook takes Jongwoon’s hand and interlocks their fingers. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You seem more annoyed than usual.”

“Do I?” Jongwoon forces smile far too thin to be anything convincing. The truth is that yes he is upset, but the inevitable conversation that’s expected after he admits what he feels is something he isn’t sure is necessary to have. “I’m just miffed about work as per usual.”

“It seems different tonight. Talk to me, hyung.” 

Jongwoon sighs in defeat and goes straight to the point, “fine. Why were you having drinks with your ex?”

Ryeowook isn’t surprised by Jongwoon’s question. He had a feeling that’s what his sudden gloomy mood is about. “We recently got back in touch and we were just catching up.”

“So you reconnected with your ex whom you loved a lot and you didn’t tell me about it?” At this point all of Jongwoon’s frustration, anger and insecurities are pouring out through his voice.

“There is nothing to tell.” Ryeowook keeps his voice cool and levelled because he has no reason to get aggravated. “I don’t have any romantic feelings for Jaebeom now.”

That disarms Jongwoon a bit and he calms down a notch. His jaw tightens. “I just… the two of you looked so cosy, laughing and chatting comfortably when I walked in here. I felt like I was barging in on something special.” he scoffs bitterly and looks away.

“Hey, look at me.” Ryeowook gently coaxes, gently cupping Jongwoon’s cheeks and turning his face towards him.” You might still be searching or open to re-exploring your past relationships, but my search is over.” Ryeowook looks deeply, pointedly and meaningfully into Jongwoon’s eyes.

Jongwoon smiles as relief courses through him as all the tension he didn’t realise he was holding seeps out of him. The honesty and love shining in Ryeowook’s kind eyes makes him also want to laugh at himself for the silly bout of jealousy he just had.


	7. Romancing while in fear of Impending Doom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 has arrived and i can officially announce that it's the second last chapter. only one more to go. This chapter is mostly fluff and romance which i must say you guys deserve considering that we don't know how Mark will react to 2jae in the final chapter. fear not though, it's all happy endings from me.  
> enjoy this chapter<3

“You don’t have to go, hyung.” Jinyoung pleads for the umpteenth time. He is lying on Jaebeom’s bed watching him slowly pack an overnight bag.

“Again, you and Jackson need some privacy.”

“What privacy? You have your own bedroom here.”

“Where I don’t want to stay cooped up all night listening to you guys enjoy your date….and other things.”

Jinyoung huffs, trying to downplay his furious blush. “Jackson and I are going out.”

“Eventually you’ll come back here and that’s definitely not a time I want to be here.”

Jinyoung’s lips thin at Jaebeom’s insinuation and then he grins knowingly. “You just want to go to Youngjae’s place and spend time with him. Are you going to finally make a move tonight?” Jinyoung wiggles his eyebrows at a n already flustered Jaebeom.

“It’s nothing like that. I’m going to strictly sleep over and come back here tomorrow.”

Jinyoung’s eyes narrow suspiciously and disbelievingly, “Right. Well, be careful. Youngjae isn’t as innocent as he seems. That time you guys invited me to a see a movie with you, I noticed the way he undresses you with his eyes.”

Jinyoung was also rather pleased with how happy Jaebeom and Youngjae were together. he wishes they didn’t have such impending doom hanging over their sweet romance.

Jaebeom picks up a pillow and throws it at his laughing friend who just manages to catch it before it hits his face. “I know he’s not innocent. We’ve been officially dating for a few weeks now and we haven’t gone all the way yet, but we’ve done stuff.”

Jinyoung grins. “Sounds like you two have built up some sexual tension there. Are you sure going to Youngjae’s house for the weekend is a good idea? I think you should carry condoms at least.”

Jaebeom considers that for a moment. “What if nothing happens but Youngjae sees the condoms anyway? Won’t that make me seem desperate?”

“You _are_ desperate.”

Jaebeom laughs and shrugs. “That’s true.” He grimaces regrettably. “Why the hell did I suggest we take things slow?!”

“Because you’re a sap. There is nothing wrong with waiting. All I’m saying is that you better be ready for anything. I also noticed how you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”

Jaebeom shoots Jinyoung a huge suggestive smile. “I assume you and Jackson will be doing some reacquainting of your own here?”

Much like Jaebeom did a few moments ago, Jinyoung picks up the same pillow and throws it at Jaebeom. “Stop embarrassing me.”

******

Jackson arrives at Jinyoung’s apartment just after 6pm and Jinyoung greets him at the door with a long, deep, hungry kiss.

“Hi.” Jinyoung whispers, gently nudging their noses together. His arms are still wrapped around Jackson’s neck while Jackson’s are firmly wrapped around Jinyoung’s waist.

“Hey.” Jackson whispers back.

They are about to kiss again when Jaebeom harrumphs to cut them off. Jinyoung rolls his eyes with a long suffering sigh and steps out of Jackson’s arms.

“This is exactly why I’m leaving the place for you two tonight.” Jaebeom says.

“No. it’s because you have a naughty cub waiting for you somewhere.” Jinyoung grumbles.

“A cub?” Jackson asks, puzzled and curious.

Jackie.” Jaebeom mock exclaims and invitingly opens his arms wide to distract Jackson from making enquiries about the cub in question.

“Bummie hyung.” Jackson yells back and runs to give Jaebeom a big hug. 

“How are you doing, man?” Jackson asks once they’ve pulled back from each other.

“I’m doing great.”

“You _look_ great. It’s really good to see you.”

“You too. I’ve missed you.” Jaebeom hugs Jackson again, but only briefly this time. He steps back and clamps a hand on Jackson’s shoulder. “Hey, congratulations on the success of your new album. I listened too. It’s really good.”

“Thanks, bro.”

“Well then I’ll leave you two alone.” Jaebeom goes to get his bag from the couch

“Where are you going?” a shocked Jackson asks. “Aren’t we going to catch up?”

“I think the two of you have a lot to catch up on first and foremost. I don’t want to be in the way.” Jaebeom winks at Jackson. “We can catch up later since you are staying for a week this time.”

**********

Jackson slides his arms around Jinyoung’s waist and pulls him closer, inviting Jinyoung to put his own arms around Jackson’s neck. “Did I mention that you look good?” Jackson whispers against Jinyoung’s lips, just shy of kissing him.

“No you didn’t, and thank you.” Jinyoung closes the inch between their lips and sucks Jackson’s lower lip into his mouth, kissing him slow and deep. “So, where are we going tonight?” he breathes when he pulls back.

“Nowhere. We are staying in.”

“The hell? Then why did you let me fix my hair up and stuff?”

Jackson grins, giving Jinyoung such a once over. “Because you look good like this.”

Jinyoung lowers his gaze for a few beats to hide his smile. Looking back up, “so what are we doing here?” he asks.

Jackson reaches for Jinyoung’s hand and tugs him to the couch to sit down. “We order pizza and watch _passions_.”

“Excuse me? I couldn’t have heard you right. Did you just say _passions_?”

“Yep. The series. I downloaded the whole thing.”

Jinyoung wants to die, right after smacking Jackson’s stupid grin off his face. “Wow, I can’t believe Jaebeom hyung left the place for us to enjoy _passions_.”

“Don’t get grouchy. This will be fun.” Jackson’s arm slides around Jinyoung’s shoulders to pull him closer until he drops his head on Jackson’s shoulder and nestles against Jackson’s side.

*******

Jinyoung can barely chew his food because he is laughing so hard. Next to him Jackson is no better. The small coffee table in front of them has two pizza boxes on it and an assortment of drinks.

They are on season 1, episode 15 of passions and each episode keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Jinyoung can’t believe how much fun he is having watching the mess with Jackson.

“At first I thought Luis is just a bad actor, but now I have no idea what he is doing.”

“Forget that. Why is Theresa freely roaming the streets when she is clearly a psychotic stalker?” 

“It’s romantic.” Jinyoung sing-songs. “She is in love.”

“And who the hell thought we would believe Miguel is a teen? This actor looks at least 29.”

The commentary goes on from there back and forth, accompanied by more laughter. At episode 13, they deice to stop before someone chokes on their drink.

To Jackson this feels a lot like the old days in University when they first started dating, before all the responsibilities, serious conversations, the stupid misunderstandings and the problems. This is the place Jackson has been hoping they get back to despite how much they’ve been through. There is no word to describe the joy he is feeling right now because this moment is the closest to the happiness the once had. It really feels like they are staring over and Jackson is determined to win Jinyoung’s heart all over again.

***********

Youngjae greets Jaebeom at the door with a kiss and a hug. Youngjae relishes in how good it feels to want to kiss Jaebeom and be allowed to do it.

Now that apartment is not candlelit and there are no rose petals spread around, Jaebeom gets a good look at Youngjae’s charming place. It’s bigger than the place he’s sharing with Jinyoung and there is way more sophisticated décor here with a white and black colour palette that’s mixed with splashes of bold sea greens and royal blues here and there. Jaebeom likes how airy and clean it is. He finds the atmosphere refreshing.

After Youngjae has put Jaebeom’s bag away, e invites Jaebeom to settle in and get comfortable. They order a pizza, friend chicken and beer for dinner. They eat that over a string of really bad 90s action films that they spend more time criticising than enjoying. Jaebeom is both surprised and delighted that people still own DVDs in 2020 and that they own terrible action films. Youngjae is definitely one of a kind person.

Every time they spend time together Youngjae amazes Jaebeom is the most unusual but fun ways. 

Eventually they give up on the movies and Youngjae suggests they play video games, a thing Jaebeom doesn’t do. He still goes for it because he is curious.

So, Youngjae tries to teach Jaebeom, but it doesn’t take. At all.

Jaebeom is so embarrassed that he can barely look at Youngjae, but Youngjae rather likes seeing Jaebeom’s red cheeks.

“I’m so bad at this.”

“Oh don’t worry. I’ve seen worse.” Youngjae soothes, shamelessly lying through his teeth. Actually Jaebeom is the worst Youngjae has seen, but of course he isn’t about to say that to his future husband. Youngjae leans towards Jaebeom and gives his lips a soft kiss. “You’re still cute.”

*********

There are pizza boxes, beer cans and takeout boxes around them but they refuse to clean up and instead lose themselves in kissing on the couch while their game of league of legends has been on pause for the past 20 minutes or so. Youngjae is straddling Jaebeom’s lap and they are grinding against each other through their jeans until it becomes unbearable and Jaebeom puts his hands on Youngjae’s hips, silently asking him to stop before they both combust. He’s getting way too riled up and so is Youngjae.

“We better stop now if you still expect us to go slow.” Jaebeom whispers against Youngjae’s mouth. “If we continue this again tonight, I don’t think I’ll be able to end at just that.”

“You’re right.” Youngjae whispers shakily, the quick rise and fall of his chest making it obvious how much he is burning for Jaebeom’s touch. With much reluctance, he climbs off Jaebeom’s lap anyway and tries not to excuse himself to the bathroom to relieve some pressure on his own.

“It’s late. We should probably go to bed.” Jaebeom haphazardly announces, because he is one kiss away from tossing Youngjae’s resolve out the window and having his way with him.

“Right. Yes. That’s….we should sleep.”

**********

It’s 11 minutes past 1am and Jaebeom still can’t sleep because he is still so damn horny and desperate. How can he not be with a hot boyfriend sleeping right next door to him? Yes Youngjae is having Jaebeom sleep in the guest room- an idea which Jaebeom both loves and hates right now for obvious reasons.

Finally giving up the tossing and turning, Jaebeom reaches out to switch the bedside lamp on. He wonders if Youngjae is sleeping. How unfair it would be if Youngjae were sleeping comfortably right now while Jaebeom can’t stop thinking about how good it felt when Youngjae rubbed him off through his jeans on the couch only a few moments ago; how good Youngjae’s bulge had felt against Jaebeom’s own palm.

Oh Gosh! Now he’s hard again.

Unable to take another moment of this agony, Jaebeom reaches for his phone and dials Youngjae’s number. If Youngjae is still awake maybe they can talk for a little while so that Jaebeom can get his mind off sex. Or maybe they’ll have phone sex, which is far much better right now. 

Youngjae doesn’t sound sleepy at all when he answers Jaebeom’s call. “Is something wrong, hyung?”

Jaebeom can hear a tinge of actual worry in Youngjae’s voice and now he just feels apologetic because as a host, Youngjae must be thinking Jaebeom is uncomfortable or something.

“Everything is okay.” Jaebeom reassures.

“Oh. Good. Then why are you calling me on the phone when you literally right next door?”

 _I can’t sleep and I’m thinking about you,_ Jaebeom is thinking but doesn’t entirely say. “Sleep is hard to come by. Am I disturbing you?”

“No. is there a reason why you can’t sleep?”

“I think you know the answer to that question.”

Youngjae falls silent and squeezes his eyes shut in agony. Yes he definitely knows why Jaebeom can’t sleep. It’s because of a problem Youngjae has too. If Youngjae gets any harder in his sweat pants, the situation might become a medical emergency. “It’s too soon.” Youngjae murmurs and then realises he’s trying to convince himself more than he is Jaebeom.

“We’ve known and liked each other for forever though.” Jaebeom argues, not ready to give up without trying convincing Youngjae otherwise.

“But we just really started dating officially.”

“We’ve been out together a lot since we reconnected 2 months ago. They weren’t dates, but we got to know each other, right?”

“Right.”

“And we trust each other.”

“Yes.”

“And I’m in love with you.” 

Youngjae’s heart melts and so does his resolve. “Come to my room, now.”

Grinning victoriously, Jaebeom scrambles out of bed and makes his way to Youngjae’s.

Youngjae’s heart is almost pounding out of his chest by the time he gentle knock on his bedroom door. He takes a deep breath and makes the few strides to the door. He opens it and his boyfriend is standing there all sexy and very eager. The desire in his eyes alone is making Youngjae’s insides stir in the most delicious way possible.

“Do you really love me?” Youngjae asks

“Yes I do, and that’s not my dick talking.”

Youngjae laughs and extends his hand invitingly. Jaebeom takes it right away and lets Youngjae tug him inside the bedroom. Once the door closes, they both know that from this point on there is no going back whatever the consequences of their falling in love with each other are. 

Youngjae steps forward, slides his hand out of Jaebeom’s and loops his arms around his neck and presses their bodies together. “I’m in love with you too.” He gently slides his nose against Jaebeom’s, their foreheads pressed together.

“Then make love to me.”

“Yes, hyung.”

**********

The smell of delicious baked food hits Youngjae the moment he steps out of his bedroom after freshening up a bit. He follows that smell all the way to the kitchen where he finds Jaebeom hunched over the kitchen counter, working hard at something.

“Good morning, hyung.” Youngjae announces his arrival as he walks up to Jaebeom.

Jaebeom turns around, startled. his face is flushed probably from the heat in the open oven, and his long bangs are pushed back from his forehead and held in place by an elastic hair band Youngjae is certain belongs to him. The entire sight is absolutely adorable. Yonugjae stands beside Jaebeom and takes a closer look at what’s going on. Turns out Jaebeom is taking freshly baked muffins out of the oven. Youngjae’s jaw drops, “I thought you said you can’t cook.”

Jaebeom gives Youngjae a lopsided grin, “good morning to you too, and baking is not cooking.”

Jaebeom’s greeting goes right over Youngjae’s head because the muffins have completely piqued Youngjae’s interest. “Where did you get the ingredients?”

“I went shopping for them.”

“Just this morning?”

“Yeah.” Jaebeom lifts his head to meet Youngjae’s gaze. “I wanted to make breakfast for you.”

Youngjae’s chest fills up with warms. “Thanks.” He comes up behind Jaebeom and wraps his arms around his waist, pressing up against him and resting his chin on Jaebeom’s broad shoulder. Youngjae buries his nose in Jaebeom’s neck and kisses him there. “You smell like cookie dough. I want to eat you up.”

Jaebeom cranes his neck to give Youngjae a look, a don’t-say-tempting-stuff-like-that kind of look. Youngjae smirks, totally unapologetic for his flirting. After all his body is still sore in all the right places and he certainly wouldn’t mind a repeat of last night this morning.

Jaebeom he turns around in Youngjae’s arms and kisses him on the lips. “I just took these out of the oven. Let’s wait a few minutes for the cookies to cool.”

“Should we make some coffee while we wait?”

“Later.” Jaebeom tugs Youngjae closer and kisses him again. Youngjae loops his arms around Jaebeom’s neck, tipping his head to one side and deepening the kiss. They stand there for a while, just lazily kissing, deeply licking into each other’s mouths, grabbing gently at each other’s hair.

Youngjae pulls away first, putting his hand on Jaebeom’s cheek and giving him another quick peck on the lips then an even softer kiss on the forehead. Neither of them speaks right away, instead they spend a while smiling fondly at each other and relishing in the warmth of their embrace. That’s until Jaebeom remembers his cookies. Smiling shyly, he steps out of Youngjae’s arms to check on them.

They lapse back into silence as Youngjae goes back to watching Jaebeom move the muffins from the baking tin to a plastic bowl.

Youngjae takes a bite out of a muffin and hums in delight. “These taste heavenly.

“Can I take some for Joy? She is such a sweet tooth.”

“Sure. There is enough here.”

“I’ll make some coffee so that we can dig in.”

**********

“I have to go to work?” Jaebeom announces when they are seated at Youngjae’s kitchen table, eating the cookies and drinking coffee.

“Why? It’s Saturday.” Youngjae tone has already taken a complaining lilt to it.

Jaeboem smiles. “People’s money doesn’t stop needing a babysitter just because it’s a weekend.”

Youngjae snorts indignantly, but he quick to come to reason. “I guess its best you leave. Mark will be coming over this afternoon to bring Coco back.”

Jaebeom wordlessly nods. Once upon a time when Youngjae mentioned Mark, Jaebeom would feel so heavy and uneasy. Now all those emotions are overpowered by how good it feels to be with Youngjae, how happy Youngjae makes him, how great last night was when they made love.

“I still wish you could stay.” Youngjae whispers after a few silent beats.

“Trust me, I can barely bring myself to leave. I’ve already fallen for you and there is no turning back. You’re all I think about all the time. As soon as I can, I’ll come running back to you. Always.”

Youngjae blinks at Jaebeom and presses his lips together, trying not to laugh as his cheeks get redder and redder.

Jaebeom squeezes his eyes shut and laughs out his embarrassment.

He can’t believe he just said that. At this point he is almost rolling his eyes at himself for being so smitten with Youngjae. 

He’s gone and fallen so hard in love that he can barely recognise himself. “Sorry, that was super cheesy.” He mutters, just struggling to meet Youngjae’s gaze.

“It’s okay. I like it. Cheesy is good.” 

**********

“Come in and sit. I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” Youngjae says to Mark as he is taking Coco from him.

“Thanks.” Mark politely accepts the invitation

“Hey, listen.” Mark begins, a while later when they are drinking coffee and sitting next to each other on Youngjae’s couch while Coco is lying between them. “There is a guy I’m seeing and I want to introduce our daughter to him.”

“Oh.” Youngjae can’t find the right answer because his mind is a whirlwind of thoughts. First of all, Mark is seeing someone whom he is that serious about? It’s the first time Mark has mentioned something like this.

“I mean if you not comfortable-”

“I am. It’s fine.” He hastily amends. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound unsupportive just now. Really, I’m happy you are seeing someone you actually want to introduce Coco to.”

“Thank you.”

Silence

“He is a great guy. Seonghwa.”

“That’s a nice name. I’m happy to hear that. I trust that my child will be in safe hands?”

“Of course. I would never put her in an unsafe environment.”

Silence ensues once more and it’s just starting to boarder on awkward. Mark busies himself looking around because that’s better than staring directly at Youngjae.

Something catches his eye then, a hat lying on Youngjae’s other couch; in particular a black bucket hat with tiny green, red and purple stars on it. Mark frowns, recognising it immediately. It’s a hat Jaebeom owns, but obviously that can’t be right. Certainly a lot of people own that hat.

Still a tony part of Mark is curious because the hat just happens to be worn just like Jaebeom’s. He knows because Jaebeom stayed at his house for a while recently.

“Is that your hat over there?” Mark finds himself asking and he doesn’t miss the way Youngjae’s eyes widen a bit when he sees the hat in question lying there.

“No. it’s a friend’s.” Youngjae says, hoping he doesn’t sound as breathless as he feels. How could he be so stupid leaving that just lying there when he knew Mark was coming over? What if he recognises Jaebeom’s hat?

“Okay.” Mark accepts the answer, but then again not quite. Almost every logical and sensible part of him is saying it’s impossible for that to be Jaebeom’s hat because Youngjae and Jaebeom are not even in touch with each other, but there is also just a tiny intuitive part of him feeling suspicious right now.

“Are you seeing someone these days?”

Youngjae’s heart instantly launches into a harsh racing because he is so not ready to have this conversation with Mark. The immediate and rational response to this would be to lie, but Youngjae doesn’t want to pile on the secrets he is already keeping from Mark. Whatever happened between them in the past doesn’t change the fact that Mark is a great guy and he doesn’t deserve to get hurt or lied to. Eventually Youngjae will have to come clean about Jaebeom, so he might as well start telling some truths now.

“I am.”

Mark’s face brightens with a big, happy smile. “Really?” he’s genuinely happy for Youngjae and it shows. Youngjae’s heart rate calms when Mark accepts the answer with such glee. He hopes Mark is no longer wondering about the hat.

“Yeah. Its… new, but… I really like him.”

“Is it someone I know?” _and is that his hat?_

“No.”

“Okay. I just hope this guy is good to you.”

“He is.”

**********

Jinyoung is comfortably nestled into Jackson’s side, his head tucked underneath his chin while Jackson has his arm around Jinyoung as they listen to some classical music together pouring out from Jinyoung’s phone through his stereo speakers. The soft music and the gentle beat of Jackson’s heartbeat against Jinyoung’s cheek are both lulling him to sleep. They have a blanket draped over their legs and there is a nice toasty fire roaring in the fireplace to add to the cosiness. It’s only around 5pm and too early to call it a day but Jinyoung wouldn’t mind falling asleep like this till tomorrow.

It’s no wonder he groans in dismay when his phone buzzes where it’s lying on the floor beside him next to their empty wine glasses and coffee mugs

He sits up with little to no enthusiasm and picks up the phone.

She finds that it’s a text from Mark and his mood switches instantly.

_Hey. Do you guys still want me to come over tonight?_

Jinyoung sits up straighter, previous lethargy forgotten. “It’s Mark. He’s asking if he can come over now.” He announces

“Of course.” Jackson smiles

Jinyoung replies, _sure. You can come by._

_Mark: I hope you two won’t be all over each other again like yesterday or else I’ll leave again._

_Jinyoung: we can’t promise that, but hanging out yesterday was still fun, right? Please come over._

_Mark: I’ll be there in an hour tops <3_

_Jinyoung <3_

“Is he coming?” Jackson asks, reaching for Jinyoung and pulling him back into his arms and hugging him close. 

Jinyoung nods. “He says we can’t be all over each other.”

“I can’t guarantee that.” Jackson chortles

“I told him the exact same thing.”

“We would invite that guy he’s seeing but I really hate double dates.”

“Me too. They are so awkward.”

“Should we get started with dinner?”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “Not yet. Mark will complain if we kiss a lot in front of him. We better get some kissing done now before he gets here.”

“I’ll still kiss you as much as I want when he gets here.”

“Sure. That sounds good too.” Jinyoung puts his smiling lips on Jackson’s

********

Mark finds Jackson and Jinyoung in Jinyoung’s kitchen standing in front of the stove. 

“I brought beer and junk food.” Mark announces, putting the shopping bags down at the kitchen table.

“Awesome!” Jinyoung beams, looking over his shoulder at Mark.

“What are you two doing over there?” Mark asks as he starts putting everything away.

“Making dinner.”

Mark laughs and shakes his head at how clueless Jackson looks while Jinyoung expertly handles things. Mark has only been here a minute and he can already tell who can cook and who can’t.

“Need some help?”

“No.” Jinyoung vehemently dismisses. “Jackson is enough of a handful over here.

Jackson raises his hands in surrender. “I quit.” And he walks over to the fridge to grab 3 beers. He opens the first one and goes to give it to Jinyoung, who accepts it gratefully. Jackson kisses him on the cheek and then proceeds to go and join Mark at the table, offering him a beer as well.

“So you idiots are just going to sit and wait to eat?” Jinyoung complains, shooting them both a dirty look over his shoulder while he is stir frying some vegetables.

Jackson and Mark share a look then they both look at Jinyoung and shrug apologetically.

Jinyoung grumbles. “Where the hell is Jaebeom when I need him?!” he thinks he is muttering to himself, but Mark hears it and it piques his interest.

“Speaking of JB, do you guys know if he’s seeing someone?” Mark asks and he doesn’t miss the subtle way Jinyoung freezes. It’s fleeting but Mark has always been very good at discerning and understanding people’s moods and body language.

“No.” Jackson says simply and then he looks at Jinyoung. “Babe, do you know something about JB’s love life?”

“Not really.” Jinyoung says, hoping he sounds as casual and nonchalant as he wants to about this.

Jackson turns his attention to Mark. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m just wondering where he is spending his weekend. I mean it’s a Sunday night and I’m sure he’s not working, so why isn’t he here hanging out with us while Jackson is visiting? Does he have other friends apart from us?”

Maybe he’s at his Wooyoung’s.” Jackson provides.

“Maybe.” Mark tests the possibility. He supposes that could be it, but this sinking feeling of suspicion in his gut still lingers for some reason.

Jinyoung momentarily abandons his food, to look towards Mark. “Maybe JB does have friends we don’t know about. He doesn’t have to tell us everything.”

“That’s true I guess.” Mark reasons. “I’m just wondering why he is suddenly secretive.”

“He has his reasons.” Jackson replies. “It would be more fun with him here but we can still enjoy this evening without him. I’m sure he’ll join next time.”

“You’re right.” Mark nods and takes a sip of his beer. That damned hat he saw at Youngjae’s place this afternoon still has him reeling and this feeling sucks; the feeling of being suspicious of not only one but two of his best friends. Mark is pretty certain now that Jinyoung is hiding something.

The four of them are all close to each other, but Jinyoung and Jaebeom have always been much closer because they knew each other way before Mark and Jackson joined them in University. Mark has always done his best to disregard that because he loves Jaebeom and Jinyoung all the same and he knows they love him a lot too, but right now he can’t help feeling that their difference in years of friendship is in play here.

Jackson seems to have a genuine cluelessness that Jinyoung doesn’t seem to have, leading Mark to believe that Jinyoung and Jaebeom are keeping secrets between themselves.

**********

Jinyoung steps out of the bathroom into his bedroom in his bathrobe, feeling all warm, in love and spoiled and just great. He stops short when he finds Jackson in the centre of a completely transformed room. The lights are dimmed down and there candles everywhere. On the carpeted floor there is a picnic type of setting with wine, fruit and some other desserts.

Jinyoung walks up to a smiling Jackson and asks, “what’s all this?”

“It’s for you. You told me that you like strawberries dipped in chocolate, so here you are.” Jackson makes a grand gesture towards the food he has laid out.

“so you threw Mark out so that you and I could have an evening of eating strawberries and chocolate alone?”

“Shut up.” Jackson laughs lightly, shaking his head and he pulls Jinyoung closer by the belt loops of his bathrobe. “I wanted us to enjoy the dessert together.”

“You are really going all out with this wooing thing huh?!”

“The sky is the limit.”

Jinyoung can’t deny it how very flattered he is by Jackson’s effort to rekindle their romance. Whatever he is doing is working and now Jinyoung just wants to show Jackson some appreciation. In light of their decision to take things slow and start over, they haven’t had sex since Jackson got here. Jinyoung thinks it’s time to take that step. They’ve both earned it.

Jackson’s lips curve into a knowing smile and he slides his arms around Jinyoung’s waist, tugging him closer. “I know what you are thinking and I completely agree, but the desserts can’t go to waste.”

Now wearing a very sly, very naughty allusive smile on his face, Jinyoung brings his arms up and wraps them around Jackson’s neck. “If I remember correctly, we’ve never had trouble incorporating a variety of desserts.” He leans in and draws Jackson’s lower lip between his teeth, slightly nibbling on it before sucking it into his mouth.

“I’m convinced.” Jackson breathes against Jinyoung’s mouth when they pull apart. “I really missed you in Hong Kong.” He adds, all the playfulness from a moment ago gone and replaced by raw, unconcealed, shameless yearning.

Jinyoung’s heart is racing at the longing he sees in Jackson’s eyes, the urgency he can feels radiating off him.

“I missed you too.” Jinyoung leans in slowly, locking eyes with Jackson and drinking him in, until finally he connects their lips.

Jackson pulls him closer to deepen the kiss, and Jinyoung shivers, relishing in the way Jackson is kissing him so passionately and with such hunger, yet so gentle as well. It’s moments like these that remind him of why he loves Jackson so much.

Jackson has a heady combination of passion and tenderness that leaves Jinyoung ever wanting more. Well at this particular moment it’s making Jinyoung’s underwear feel a little too tight. He can feel Jackson’s hardness pressing against him and that’s driving Jinyoung wilder with want. 

“I need you, Jinyoung.” Jackson whispers brokenly, the desperate lilt to it instantly breaking Jinyoung’s heart. “I’m trying. I really am. Please say you’ll give me another chance.”

Jinyoung groans and rests his forehead against Jackson’s. “It’s not fair to ask me now when all the blood in my brain is flowing south. I can’t think.”

“Then don’t think. Just say yes.” Jackson says seriously. “We’ve done enough thinking. Let’s be happy now.”

Jackson knows that he’s not playing fair making an offer while seducing Jinyoung but there is no stopping physical and emotional need he has for Jinyoung right now. He moves his lips from Jinyoung’s lips to kiss his jaw, all the way up to his ear. Jackson sucks Jinyoung’s earlobe into his mouth while his hands slowly trail dwon from Jinyoung’s waist to cup and squeeze his butt cheeks. Jackson thoroughly delights in the moan it pulls from Jinyoung.

There is no part of Jinyoung that doesn’t feel a deep yearning for Jackson. At the same time Jinyoung is afraid that all this happiness is fleeting and that once Jackson goes back to Hong Kong, they will fall back into an abyss.

“I’m scared, Jackson.”

“Me too, but I want to try again because you are the love of my life. I can’t be happy unless I’m with you.”

Jinyoung’s heart is feeling joy and pain all at once and he can’t decide what emotion is closer to his answer. “I love you too. I love you more than you can ever understand and I want to toss caution to the wind but I’ve so much these past few months. I can’t forget that pain just yet. I’m sorry.”

Hurt as it may to get rejected, Jackson also understands where Jinyoung is coming from. He presses a soft kiss against Jinyoung’s forehead before giving him an accepting smile. “Don’t apologise, okay? I get it. I still love you.”

“I love you too. Can we shut up now so that I can show you how much?”

“No argument here.” Jackson crashes their lips together.

*********

Jaebeom ends up working the whole day on Saturday and part of Sunday, so to make up for lost time, he has invited Youngjae out for a late afternoon picnic at the park by the Han River, and he even offered to set everything up. The picnic idea is thanks to advice from Wooyoung and San because they won’t butt out of Jaebeom’s business. As nosy and irritating as they can be, not all their ideas are bad, Jaebeom now acknowledges.

Jaebeom asked Youngjae are set to meet at the park, so Jaebeom makes sure to get there way before youngjae to get everything ready. He wants it all to be perfect for when his boyfriend gets there.

He has secured a nice isolated spot under a huge tree with a beautiful view of the river. Jaebeom makes quick work of spreading the blanket on the grass. Next he checks if everything they need is in the basket: the take-out food he ordered from a popular place that’s famous for their potato salad and sandwiches; plates, napkins, wine, utensils, wine glasses, drinking water, other beverage glasses, and a corkscrew. It appears everything is there and he is ready to get this picnic on the road.

Since this picnic is Jaebeom’s way of showing how much he appreciates Youngjae, he also brought a bouquet of flowers. He can only hope that Youngjae will like them.

It isn’t long before youngjae arrives, bringing his special brand of glee and eagerness with him.

“Hi, Jaebeomie hyung.” Youngjae says as he steps into Jaebeom’s open arms.

“Hi, baby.”Jaebeom kisses youngjae’s cheek. He lingers a bit, just holding Youngjae and enjoying the nice fragrance on him. 

They pull apart and Jaebeom also takes a moment to appreciate how nice Youngjae looks in his dark jeans, a white t-shirt and a maroon hoodie. You looked good.” He tells Youngjae.

“Thank you. You too. It’s nice to see you wearing all casual clothes.” Youngjae points out. Jaebeom looks hot in suits but honestly Youngjae doesn’t understand why Jaebeom doesn’t wear jeans and t-shirts more often. He looks so good in that too. 

“Thanks.” Jaebeom says and, bends down to pick up the flowers he brought then hands them to Youngjae. “For you.”

Some colour rises to Youngjae’s cheeks as he smells the flowers. Youngjae didn’t expect something like this at all but he likes it a lot. “These are beautiful. Thank you, hyung.”

Jaebeom feels like he’s bagged a victory watching Youngjae’s cheeks get pinker and pinker as he continues marvelling at the flowers. 

As they sit down next to each other on the blanket, Youngjae looks around and smiles. “This is the perfect spot in the park. I love it.” 

Jaebeom takes youngjae’s hand in his and lifts it to his lips to press a tender kiss against it. “I’m glad you do. This is my way of apologising for working nearly the entire weekend.”

“You don’t have to apologise, hyung. I know what your job is like. I’ll pout about it of course, but I also understand.” He leans up and kisses Jaebeom’s cheek.

Relief lances through Jaebeom and he nods. “Shall we star with the food?”

“Yes.” Youngjae eagerly nods.

***********

While they are eating and sipping on some wine, Jaebeom updates Youngjae about how work is going at his company. Youngjae is happy to hear Jaebeom say that there is hope for his start-up to begin making profit real soon.

After putting their leftover food away, Youngjae shifts on the blanket and lies down on his back, resting his head on Jaebeom’s lap and silently coaxing him to skim his fingers through Youngjae’s hair. Youngjae sighs in delight when Jaebeom does just that.

“Are you taking a nap?” Jaebeom asks, gently pushing youngjae’s hair off his forehead.

“Maybe. Do you mind?”

“No. I brought a book to read.” 

Youngjae gives Jaebeom a huge, sweet, imploring smile. “Could you read to me?”

Jaebeom laughs. “I think I’m spoiling you.”

“Yes you are and I love it. Please?”

“Alright.” Jaebeom sighs in feigned suffering.

Eventually Youngjae does get lulled to sleep by Jaebeom’s soft, quiet voice. Jaebeom stops and flips the book closed when I realises Youngjae has fallen asleep. He touches Younjae’s cheek gently, wishing they could have tis peace forever, wishing that he could protect Youngjae and keep him this happy and content. Jaebeom can’t shake the feeling that telling Mark about this will destroy them. It’s to enjoy the present when there is impending doom in the future, but Jaebeom still tries to enjoy these moments he has with Youngjae.

He resumes reading while absently touching Youngjae’s hair.

The next time Youngjae opens his eyes, it’s darker. He sits up slowly and looks around, disoriented at first before everything sinks in. he is at the park with Jaebeom enjoying a picnic, except it’s getting dark now and the few people within his eyeshot are leaving.

He looks at Jaebeom and smiles sheepishly. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Over an hour.”

Youngjae’s eye widen in shock. “That long?” he sighs and ruffles his hair regrettably. “I guess I was more tired than I thought. I’m sorry, hyung.”

“It’s okay. I enjoyed watching you sleep.”

Really? Youngjae wants to poke fun at how creepy and cheesy that sounds, but he is far too upset that he slept through most of his date with Jaebeom.

Jaebeom can tell Youngjae is still beating himself up about this, so he leans over to kiss Youngjae’s pouting lips. “We’ll come here again soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Youngjae says, a little assuaged

“We should pack up.”

“Hm.” Youngjae nods and starts getting up but Jaebeom abruptly takes hold of his arm to stop him. Youngjae looks at Jaebeom is with askance.

Looking seriously into Youngjae’s eyes, Jaebeom says. “I think we should tell Mark hyung about us.”

Youngjae is silent for a while, trying to process the suggestion. When he finally speaks up it’s with apprehension. “We just started dating officially. Couldn’t we wait a little while longer?”

“The longer we wait the more likely he is to find out from someone else and that will be far worse.”

Youngjae’s expression dulls. “What if Mark hyung doesn’t take it well?”

“It’s likely but that’s no reason to procrastinate the inevitable. We have to tell him sooner or later, so it might as well be now.”

Youngjae swallows thickly. “Mark saw your hat at my place yesterday.” He says and watches Jaebeom’s eyes widen. “Convince him it wasn’t yours, but it was hard to tell what he was thinking by the time he left.”

“It’s possible he’s suspicious.”

“Hyung, I’m afraid of losing you.” Youngjae says, not afraid to let his anxiety and fears show.

Jaebeom wraps his arms around Youngjae and kisses his temple. “We’ll be fine. I promise.” He whispers


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL CHAPTER!!!!! While i'm happy that I managed to finish this without any glitches, i'm also unexpectedly emotional about saying goodbye to the story. I wish i could make it longer but I've thoroughly run out of ideas.  
> Reading your comments and receiving your love and support has been a true blessing. i'll really miss connecting with everyone through this story. I hope i'll be back with something else soon so that we can connect again.
> 
> There have been a lot of elements to 2jae's love story in this fic, and I hope you'll all find this ending complete, satisfying and enjoyable.
> 
> Till next time, much love to you all and please, please take good care of yourselves during this time<3<3<3<3

“There is something we have to tell you.” Jaebeom announces after Mark’s initial surprise that Youngjae and Jaebeom are here sitting together in a booth at a café on a Monday evening. There is almost no preamble. Jaebeom is so nervous and he’s just like to get everything out now before he loses his courage. He invited Mark here to talk things out because it’s a central enough place for them to talk since they can’t exactly do it from anyone’s apartment.

“Yeah?” Mark frowns slightly, looking at Youngjae and then at Jaebeom.

“Youngjae and I are dating.” Jaebeom quite literally blurts it out.

Mark just continues staring at them, not looking surprised at all. Jaebeom and Youngjae exchange a nervous glance before looking back at Mark who is still blinking at them.

The silence only gets thicker and thicker until Mark finally replies, “I know.” He mutters so calmly and quietly, but those words are impactful enough to leave Youngjae and Jaebeom rattled. They glance at each other again, wide eyed this time, puzzled and shocked.

“How?” Jaebeom asks

“I saw one of your stupid bucket hats at Youngjae’s place last weekend.” Marks answers with much effort to staying calm. The truth is out now and even though deep down he had a feeling about all this, he feels anger building up in his chest. He is hurt as well but probably more than that he is so disappointed in Jaebeom. How can someone who calls himself Mark’s best friend do this to him?

“Oh.” That’s all Jaebeom can say right away while his mind is searching for a way to go forward with this hellish conversation. Beside him, Youngjae fidgets a little and he is nervously fumbling with his fingers at the table. Jaebeom wants to reach out and hold his hand, give him strength and comfort but now is so not the time. Instead he eyes Mark, trying to gauge how he might be feelings about all this.

“That’s not all. You two aren’t subtle at all.” Mark continues. “The same day I went to Youngjae’s place, He told me he is seeing someone.” Mark’s gaze slides to Jaebeom. “Meanwhile for the past few weeks You’ve visibly been seeing someone he likes a lot but won’t tell any of his friends about. I can always tell because we’ve been friends for a long time. You are always forthcoming about your dating life. Suddenly this time you are not.”

Mark takes a long uncomfortable pause and then he adds, “To be honest I knew that you guys liked each other back in school as well.”

“You did?” Youngjae says in horror

“Anyone with working eyes could tell.” Mark chuckles humourlessly. “I didn’t mind because that’s normal. I’ve been there too. I once liked a boyfriend’s sister, but now that you two are still so into each other even years later and you’ve have been sneaking around like this, I’ve been wondering a lot of things. Did you two hook up back then as well behind my back?”

“No we didn’t. I promise.” Jaebeom quickly refutes.

“Was I in the way of the two of you getting together?” Mark continues like Jaebeom hasn’t even spoken. “Did Youngjae ever truly love me in the time we were together? Did Youngjae date me only because I got to him first? All that has been running through my mind but I still gave you two the benefit of the doubt, especially Jaebeom because a friend as good as he is wouldn’t do something like this. I convinced myself that I’m imagining things, that maybe you two have just gotten close as friends.”

Jaebeom lowers his gaze, too heavy-hearted and guilty to speak.

Youngjae swallows the lump in his throat and asks Mark, “And now… what are you thinking?”

“Now I’m thinking I don’t want anything to do with either one of you.” With that he gets up and leaves.

*******

Mark drives straight to Jinyoung’s café afterwards. Jinyoung can already tell that something is seriously wrong the Moment Mark walks into his establishment and asks I they can talk in Jinyoung’s office.

Mark isn’t surprised to find Jackson in Jinyoung’s office. Apparently he’s here to visit.

The moment they are all standing in Jinyoung’s office, “Did you know?” Mark asks Jinyoung right away and without preamble. 

Jinyoung’s heart jumps, a deep searing feeling of dread settling in his belly because he knows exactly what Mark is talking about. The anger emanating from him says it all.

Meanwhile Jackson, who is standing beside Jinyoung looks at them both with a puzzled expression on his face, wondering what the tension is all about. “What’s going on, guys?” he asks

“JB is dating Youngjae.”

Genuinely happy for his friend, Jackson’s face brightens with a grins. “JB is seeing someone? That’s great. So why are you two so glum about it?”

“He means Youngjae, his ex.” Jinyoung quietly explains to Jackson with his gaze lowered to the floor.

Jackson’s eyes grow wide and wider as realisation dawns on him. “What! Is that true?” he asks Mark incredulously.

Mark nods. “And I think Jinyoung has known all along. Am I wrong?”

With much struggle, Jinyoung meets Mark’s gaze. “If it’s any consolation, I told JB to tell you.”

Mark looks away, shaking his head and laughing mirthlessly while Jackson gapes in shock at Jinyoung.

Jackson takes hold of Jinyoung’s arm and turns him towards him so that they face each other. “You knew?”

Jinyoung nods and the disappointment that falls upon Jackson’s face is so wounding. “How could you keep something like that from us?” Jackson is saying.

“Because he and JB are fucking selfish.” Mark replies, every word dripping with bitterness.

“Why would Jaebeom do this?” Jackson laments to himself mostly. “He didn’t even mention that he’s in touch with Youngjae.

“They reconnected a few months ago when they bumped into each other at a grocery store.”

“How romantic.” Mark drawls sarcastically

Jackson looks at Mark, “do you think…..” he trails off, taking his time to choose the least upsetting way to ask what he’s thinking.

Mark effortlessly reads Jackson’s question from the cautious look on his face, and he answers it. “JB claims they weren’t fucking around back in school, but who the hell knows?”

“Mark I know you are upset, but you know that JB isn’t the kind of person who would secretly date someone you are also seeing.”

“He is doing it now.”

“You and Youngjae aren’t together right now. It’s been years since you two broke up.”

A muscle jumps in Mark’s jaw as he nods as if just realising something. “I should have known you’d only defend JB.”

“Come on, Mark. that’s not fair. I’m only saying facts.”

“Don’t you care about what this does to our friendship?” Jackson asks Jinyoung

“Of course I do. I have from the beginning. That’s why I’m asking the two of you to calm the hell down before you do ruin the friendship.”

Mark scoffs. “Now Jackson and I are the bad guys huh. How is that when JB is the one dating a best friend’s ex and you knew about it but didn’t say anything?”

“I hate to say this Jinyoung-” Jackson begins. “- but I wish you cared about Mark and I half as much as you care about JB. If you did, you wouldn’t be defending his bullshit.”

“Whatever. I’m out of here.” Mark announces and promptly leaves. Jinyoung lets him go cause he figures it’s useless begging him to stay.

It’s just Jinyoung and Jackson in the office now, standing face-to-face.

“I do care about you and Mark too.” Jinyoung says and Jackson wants to believe it but he just doesn’t.

“I know I was being irrational and jealous when I accused you and JB of having some romantic thing going. Am I still irrational and jealous in believing that the two of you are closer to eachother than you are with the rest of us?”

“Yes.”

“No.” Jackson shakes his head. “I’m your boyfriend and you didn’t tell even me about JB and Youngjae. What the hell?”

“The less people we told the better, okay? It was a tough situation to deal with. JB didn’t want to fall so hard for Youngjae either but he just did. He never wanted to keep secrets from you guys but he just found himself in that situation. People have done crazier shit for love.”

“Am I supposed to ignore the fact that the two of you lied just because true love is involved?”

“No, but….” Jinyoung stops and sighs tiredly. He feels so exhausted already from talking about this. “You don’t have that much longer to stay in the country. Let’s not waste time arguing.” Jinyoung tries to reach for Jackson, who immediately steps back

Ouch.

“We are keeping big secrets from each other as friends and you think we are wasting time talking about it?”

“JB and Mark are grown men. They’ll sort out their issues.”

“Don’t you realise that Mark is more upset because you also didn’t say anything?” Jackson snaps with every bit of frustration and annoyance he is feeling. He turns his eyes heavenwards and moves passed Jinyoung towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Jinyoung asks

“To Mark’s place.” Jackson says over his shoulder. “Don’t wait up for me.”

********

Jaebeom finds Jinyoung at home, eating alone at the kitchen table with his head bowed and shoulders hunched over.

“Hey.” Jaebeom says as he takes a seat across Jinyoung. Jinyoung neither replies nor looks up “Where is Jackson?” 

Jinyoung finally looks up and Jaebeom notices how upset he is, the anguish in his red-rimmed eyes. It looks like he’s been crying too.

Concern clouds Jaebeom’s expression. “Did something happen?” he asks urgently. He wants to go to Jinyoung and hug him or something, but he gets the feeling that it’s not a good idea. If Jaebeom isn’t mistaken, Mark probably spoke to Jinyoung after he left the café. 

“Do you have to ask?” Jinyoung waspishly retorts. “Mark came to my cafe to give me a piece of his mind after which he stormed out. Jackson did the same not long after. They are both mad at you and me for lying to them.”

Jaebeom exhales and drops his face in the palms of his hands before roughly rubbing his fingers over his face and running them through his hair. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung.” He says most earnestly but it’s like Jinyoung isn’t even listening. He puts his chopsticks down to look squarely at Jaebeom.

“Jackson walked out on me and he is going to be staying at Mark’s house. I don’t know what that means and I’m scared shitless. Remember when I asked you time and time again to tell Mark the truth? You should have listened so that you don’t drag everyone into your crap. Now everyone is suffering. My already problematic relationship with Jackson just got worse.”

“I’ll talk to Jackson; I’ll do whatever I can. I’m really sorry Jinyoung. I’m so sorry.”

Jinyoung can see the tears brimming in Jaebeom’s eyes and he knows his best friend is just as hurt as he is about all this, but right now Jinyoung can’t find the space to sympathise with Jaebeom when all this shit is his fault. “You should leave.”

“Jinyoung-”

“I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret. Just go. Leave my house. You’ve done enough and your apologies are not helping anyone.”

********

“What happened? I thought you were staying at your friend’s place tonight.” Youngjae asks Jaebeom when he shows up at his doorstep a few hours after they left the café they met Mark at. Youngjae takes in how distraught and shattered Jaebeom looks.

“Jinyoung threw me out.” Jaebeom just barely whispers, feeling so depleted emotional exhaustion. Can I stay over?”

“Of course.” Youngjae takes Jaebeom’s hand and invites him inside. In the entryway, Youngjae reaches up to touch Jaebeom’s cheeks gently. “What really happened?”

“Jackson walked out on Jinyoung because Jinyoung kept our secret. Now everyone is upset with everyone and it’s my fault.”

Something pulls tight in Youngjae’s chest and tears well up in his eyes because of how utterly miserable Jaebeom looks. “How can I make it better?” Youngjae asks breathily, trying hard not to crumble. His boyfriend is torn up enough and someone has to be strong for them right now.

“Just hold me.” Jaebeom says brokenly, and Youngjae pulls him into the warmth and safety of his arms.

********

Jackson’s phone has been ringing nonstop while he is at the gym next morning. It’s Jaebeom calling. This whole Jaebeom and Youngjae thing has Jackson so tense and upset that he barely slept the night before at Mark’s place. He kept tossing and turning agonising about his argument with Jinyoung.

The fact that Jinyoung was hiding stuff from Jackson was a painful revelation for him when he thought things were finally starting to get better between them since he came to Seoul. Jackson isn’t sure he would have been able to keep Jaebeom’s secret from Mark, but Jinyoung should have said something to Jackson. Jackson has always thought that because he and Jinyoung are also boyfriends, their relationship is a little more special but he isn’t so sure anymore.

Once upon a time all four of them used to be so close and they trusted each other with everything they had. It makes Jackson sick with dread and worry that they are growing apart, that maybe they are no longer as close as they used to be, that maybe the friendship isn’t as important to some of them anymore. Friendship and loyalty are everything to Jackson and what’s happening to them makes him incredibly sad. Now he is taking his frustration and worry out on some weightlifting.

Eventually his muscles protest all the exertion and he plops down on a bench. That’s when he reaches for his phone. Jaebeom stopped calling at some point and left a text.

**_Jaebeomie:_ ** _I’m sorry for lying to you. At first I kept everything from you because I thought I could ignore my growing feelings for Youngjae. I swear I tried not to fall for Youngjae for the sake of my friendship with Mark and for the sake of us all, but I did fall in love anyway. I know I’m wrong and you can hate me all you want but please forgive Jinyoung at least. He was always against the idea of me keeping the truth from you and Mark. I’m really sorry, Jackson. Your friendship means so much to me and I never meant to sabotage it. I love both you and Mark to death._

Jackson sighs miserably after reading the text. He hates staying mad at Jinyoung and Jaebeom but he also can’t just open his arms to them because they deeply hurt his other best friend Mark.

********

“What do you think we should have?” Mark asks while doing the driving as Jackson looks up nice restaurants in Seoul on his phone.

The two of them were just at the movies together and they are now headed out to have dinner.

“There is a pasta place Jinyoung and I went to some time back but I can’t remember what it is. It’s a shame. The food there is amazing.”

“I’m sure we can find another pasta place if you are sure that pasta is what you want to have.”

“It is.”

“Okay. I don’t mind.”

They fall silent for a while. Mark doesn’t mind it because it’s not uncomfortable but it does however make him feel a little uneasy because it’s not like Jackson to be so quiet and to seem so jaded. Since the day he moved into Mark’s place, he’s been melancholy to say the least. Mark deeply appreciates Jackson’s support and his efforts to keep Mark’s spirits up, but this isn’t working.

Mark doesn’t want Jackson to suffer.

“You miss Jinyoung.” Mark says abruptly, surprising Jackson who slides his gaze away from the buildings they are passing outside to Mark.

Jackson ponders the statement for a few moments and a much as he’s like to deny it, he can’t. “I’m not sure I’m over what he did.”

“But you miss him.” Mark repeats

“Yeah. I miss him a lot.”  
“You should go back to him.” Mark shoots Jackson a quick but meaningful look. “Yes he betrayed us, but mostly this is my fight with JB, and not yours and Jinyoung’s. You have few days left in the country and you should be enjoying them with your man.”

“What about you?”

“I’m a grown man. I’ll be fine. You and Jinyoung have had enough problems recently and you are just starting to heal. Go talk to him and figure things out. I’ll hate myself if my problems get in the way of what you guys have built since you agreed to try again.”

Jackson nods vehemently. He loves Jinyoung despite their problems and it doesn’t make sense for him to be somewhere sulking alone while Jinyoung does the same someplace else. Jackson would rather suffer, hate and agonise with Jinyoung than away from him.

“Let’s have dinner together first before I abandon you.” Jackson grins and Mark mirrors his expression. 

“How sweet of you.” Mark chortles

“While we are giving each other advice-” Jackson begins. “- I think you should try to let this thing with Jaebeom and Youngjae go. For the sake of your friendship with Jaebeom.”

Mark sighs. “I don’t want to fight either, but seriously who dates their best friend’s ex? That’s so messed up.”

“And I agree but I think you are not the only one suffering here. Imagine what Jaebeom is going through.”

“He chose this. Seoul is full of other people he could be dating but he chose my ex.”

“No one can choose who they fall in love with. For the record, I think Jinyoung was right. Jaebeom isn’t the type to date your boyfriend behind your back. His thing with Youngjae is probably recent. At least they waited years to act on their feelings. That’s something.”

“How would you feel if you found out that your boyfriend had a crush on your best friend the entire time he dated you?”

Jackson winces and hisses, shaking his head. Okay Mark wins this round with that one question. “I would be hurt and insulted.” Jackson admits.

“Well that’s how I feel.”

Jackson silently reaches out to give Mark what he hopes is a comforting squeeze on the shoulder.

********

Jinyoung feels like he might melt from how relieved he is to see Jackson again after 2 excruciating days of anxiety and uncertainty. Jinyoung didn’t know what to expect after Jackson walked out of this very office that day mad and disappointed.

Jinyoung wonders if Jackson will step back again if he tries to reach out. Afraid of rejection, he doesn’t try it.

Jackson doesn’t miss how tired and lethargic Jinyoung seems or the sadness in his eyes; and he realises too late that maybe storming out like that a few days ago was a mistake. Sure He was hurt but it’s so not worth hurting Jinyoung as well, especially not this much.

He steps forward, finally closing all the distance between them and takes Jinyoung into his arms. An almost teary whimper of contentment slips past Jinyoung’s lips as Jackson’s strong arms hold him close.

“I’m sorry.” Jackson whispers in Jinyoung’s hair before kissing it.

“Me too.” Jinyoung whispers back. “I’m sorry I lied and I’m sorry I tried to defend it. I should have just owned up and apologised.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I love our friends and it sucks that they are all caught up in a mess. I’ll support them however I can but I choose happiness where you are concerned. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I’ve decided to forgive you and move on. Mark helped me come to this conclusion.”

“Mark?” Jinyoung can’t hide the shock on his voice. “I hope he chooses to forgive as well.”

Jackson tilts his head back to look at Jinyoung. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Jinyoung chokes up. “I thought this was the end for us.”

“There is no end in sight for us. We are just starting to love.” Jackson reassures and then punctuates it with a kiss on Jinyoung’s lips; a tender and adoring kiss.

“Okay.” Jinyoung whispers against Jackson’s lips. “Let’s officially and seriously give this another chance.” Because how the hell Jinyoung has been a fool doubting the power of Jackson’s love for him, a love so understanding, caring, forgiving, unconditional and unchanging.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” Jackson grins, every bit of joy visible in his eyes.

“You can try to show me.”

“Romantic dinner for two?”

“I can handle that. We just officially started dating and we need to celebrate.”

“In that case, let’s go for on a short vacation in Jeju before I leave.”

“How does this Saturday sound?”

“Perfect.”

********

Since Mark isn’t picking up Youngjae’s calls, Youngjae takes the opportunity to talk to Mark on Thursday evening when he takes Coco to Mark’s house. It’s Mark’s turn to take care of her.

Mark is cold and dismissive the entire time they are in the middle of his living area but Youngjae doesn’t let his courage wane because this might be the only chance he gets to speak to Mark and apologise properly.

“None of this started with the intention of hurting you, Mark.” Youngjae says abruptly and Mark freezes in the middle of petting Coco who is in his arms.

He lifts his head to look at Youngjae. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

Youngjae has honestly never seen Mark this upset, not even when they had fights back when they were dating. It’s a bit scary and intimidating. “I’m sure you don’t, but I just want to apologise to you.”

“For what exactly? It doesn’t look like you are sorry for dating my best friend or you’d have broken up with him by now.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Because you love him. I get it.”

“Maybe you don’t even need to hear this, but I really did love you. I was happy in the time we were together.”

“You just liked my friend a little more.”

“No. I liked _you_ more. That’s why I stayed with you until we just couldn’t be together anymore. I love Jaebeom now but I didn’t love him before. What I felt for him back in school was just a mere crush.” 

“How long was this crush exactly?” Mark asks and Youngjae falls silent, confirming Mark’s suspicion. “So you liked him the entire time you and I were together.”

“It wasn’t love though, and Jaebeom hyung and I didn’t act on those feelings for that matter.”

“Alright I hear you.” Mark snaps impatiently, feeling a heavy weight settle in his chest. This situation is just so hurtful and annoying and he wishes it would go away with all the people involved. On that note, he meets Youngjae’s gaze square and continues, “You are right. I don’t need to hear any of this. I don’t care about what you once felt or never felt. It’s all in the past. Now, you and Jaebeom can do whatever you want. Just do it away from me.”

“Mark hy-”

“You and Jaebeom are in love and you want to protect your happiness, but do you know how I feel? My best friend has been sleeping with my ex behind my back. How the hell can I trust my friend ever again? It sucks not being able to trust your own best friend, so I’m not happy either. Why isn’t anyone trying to protect my happiness as well?”

Youngjae’s heart shatters into pieces instantly. It’s one thing just assuming how Mark must feel but it’s another hearing it and seeing the pain in his eyes. Mark was always so good to Youngjae, even after they broke up. He doesn’t deserve this kind of betrayal and maybe Youngjae should be more understanding towards Mark, should have been more considerate before acting on his feelings for Jaebeom.

This whole situation is just such a mess and Youngjae sees no end to it because while he feels bad for Mark, he also can’t let go of Jaebeom.

“I’m truly sorry, Mark hyung. I admit I’m the bad guy and you don’t deserve what I’ve done to you. The truth is also that Jaebeom isn’t one to go around deliberately betraying his friends. He loves you a lot. It just so happens that he fucked up this once because he fell in love with someone he shouldn’t have. People make big mistakes sometimes and that hurts us but it doesn’t mean they’ve stopped caring about us.” 

“If you’ve said all you needed to say, please leave.” Mark impatiently cuts Youngjae off, turning his gaze away.

********

“Any luck talking to Mark hyung?” Jaebeom asks Youngjae later at Youngjae’s place. They are recline don Youngjae’s bed, lying face to face.

Youngjae shakes his head. “You?”

“No.” Jaebeom sighs.

Youngjae’s chest is so heavy as he asks, “What next? Do you think we should… end things between us?”

“Putting an end to our relationship isn’t going to help anything.”

“Thank goodness you said that.”

Jaebeom looks at Youngjae and sees the fear and anxiety written all over his face. It occurs to Jaebeom that Youngjae is worried that a breakup is eminent. Reaching across the table, Jaebeom tenderly cups Youngjae’s cheek. “We are the bad guys and we are selfish as hell, but no I’m not letting you go.”

Relief visibly washes over Youngjae and he reaches for Jaebeom’s hand, interlacing their fingers. “I’ve been dying to hear you say that.”

Jaebeom smiles softly and shifts closer to Youngje to kiss him on the forehead. “What did Mark tell you when you went to his house earlier?”

“He feels sad that he can’t trust you anymore.”

Jaebeom grimaces but he’s not surprised. “I figured that’s what I’ve done to all my friends. Now everyone can’t trust each other.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, hyung.”

“I really miss my friends.”

Youngjae closes the final distance between them and wraps his arm around Jaebeom.

********

Seonghwa browses through the options of Netflix movies that he and Mark can watch tonight. He is perched on the floor on Mark’s soft carpet with his phone in hand while Mark is lying on the couch behind Seonghwa, head propped up on his elbow. The snacks are all ready and all they have to do now is decide upon something to watch.

“Do you think a horror film is a good idea?” Seonghwa mutters

“I doubt it.”

“Romance?”

“No.”

“Fantasy then? I haven’t seen maleficent 2 yet.”

“I disliked the trailer.”

Seonghwa turns around and gives Mark a quizzical look. “Are you okay?” Mark nods. “It doesn’t seem like you are.”

“What do I seem like?”

“Jaded and a bit cynical these days.”

Since Seonghwa so accurately has a clear picture and description of Mark’s recent mood and attitude, Mark gives up trying to deny it. “I’m sorry. I just feel a little down.” He admits

“Seems like a lot of wrong actually.” Seonghwa fully turns around and rests his chin on his clasped hands right in front of Mark’s face. Do you want to tell me about it?”

For a few seconds Mark gets distracted by how beautiful Seonghwa is up close, but he recovers quickly enough and replies. “I don’t want to bother you with my problems already. We just started dating.”

“I’m not expecting rainbows all the time. Come on, tell me what’s wrong.”

Mark can’t believe how lucky he is to have someone so sweet and understanding. His warm smile alone is helping soothe the turmoil burning in Mark’s chest. “One of my best friends is dating my ex.” He admits

Seonghwa’s eyebrows shoot up and his lips form an ‘o’ as he stares silently at Mark for a while. “That’s…. not cool.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

“How long did you date this ex for?”

“Two years back in college. I went to school with all my friends, so they all knew my then boyfriend. Apparently one of my friends developed feelings for my boyfriend and vice versa.”

“Serious feelings? Did they do stuff behind your back?”

“They claim it was only a crush back then and nothing went down.”

“You don’t sound convinced.” Seonghwa gently strokes a stray lock of hair away from Mark’s forehead.

Mark sighs. “I don’t know what to believe.”

“So when did they start dating?”

“Last week.”

“Oh.” Seonghwa’s stance changes instantly and he brightens. “Then that’s fine.”

Mark frowns. “How is that fine?”

Seonghwa shrugs. “It’s been years since you and your college boyfriend broke up, so I don’t see the big deal. Overlaps happen all the time. At least it’s been years.”

“Yeah but it’s my friend and my ex.”

“And they waited years to finally act on their feelings.” Seonghwa counters. “The only reason this would be a problem if you still had for Youngjae. Do you?”

“No. I’m so over that.”

“Then it shouldn’t be a big deal. I admit it’s weird and probably a little uncomfortable for you seeing your ex of two years dating your friend, but it’s not _that_ bad.”

“Would you lose a friend’s trust if they did something like that to you?”

“I try to focus on my friends’ good points so that I don’t lose sight of them because of one or two mistakes. After all no one is perfect.”

Mark muses over that for a few seconds. “I suppose that’s true.”

“I haven’t met your friends yet but so far you’ve only told me great things about them. I’d like to believe that you won’t lose people who mean so much to you over something like this or anything for that matter.”

“I’d hate it too if I lost my friends forever.”

“Have you talked to your friend?”

“I’m sort of avoiding that.” 

Seonghwa leans in and kisses Mark softly on the cheek. “Talk to him. It’s not fair for either of you to keep suffering like this. Think about it.” he kisses Mark again, on the lips this time.

**********

On Friday afternoon during Jaebeom’s lunch hour, Jinyoung pays him a surprise visit at his office, bearing gifts of coffee and sweet treats.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” Jaebeom says as he takes the coffee and box of pastries from Jinyoung to put them down at his desk. He invites Jinyoung to sit down across him before sitting back down himself. Jaebeom can’t help being a little fidgety and nervous because he doesn’t know what to expect from this sudden visit especially because his last interaction with Jinyoung last time was bitter.”

“I had to see you and let you know in person that I’m going to Jeju with Jackson tomorrow.” Jinyoung explains. He purses his lips, unimpressed and saddened by how lifeless Jaebeom looks. He is just barely put together in his casual Friday jeans and T-shirt attire. It’s true that Jaebeom is one lazy, lethargic idiot, but he certainly carries around with him more vigour than this.

Jaebeom probably shouldn’t be sleeping with his best friend’s ex, but it appears he has borne the brunt of that decision enough lately. He looks not only emotionally stressed from it all, but almost physically stressed as well. 

“Jeju Isaland?” Jaebeom asks, cutting off Jinyoung’s train of thought. “I take you the two of you made up?”

“We decided to put all our problems behind us and give our relationship a real shot again.”

“That’s sweet.” Jaebeom smiles, genuinely happy for them. This is the first real good news he’s received this week. “A trip is a great idea but what about your café?”

“Taeil has been doing a great job assisting me. I’m sure he’ll manage to take my place for a day. The others will help him where he fails.”

Jaebeom nods, pulling his lower lip between his teeth. “as long you don’t worry while you are away.”

“I won’t.” Jinyoung pauses and then he sits up, a serious expression falling upon his features. “I’m not here to talk about my vacation plans. I wanted to know how you are doing.”

“I’m okay.”

“Are you really? It doesn’t look like you are.”

“Of course I’m not but I’m trying to be. I have to be. I have no right to sulk.”

“Everyone has the right to sulk. You are not doing anything, Jaebeom. I never should have lashed out at you about us lying to Jackson and Mark. I’m a grown man and keeping the truth from them was my choice. You never coerced me into it.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve lost my friends’ trust.”

“Not all your friends. I’m still on your side.”

“You are?” Jaebeom murmurs, letting his anxiety and uncertainty show. At this point he is way passed feeling embarrassed and ashamed of how desperate he is to hear Jinyoung say that.

“In certain situations it’s easier to forgive and move on. You are my favourite person in the world, so of course I’m still on your side. And about you and Youngjae, I’m over my initial reservations. Recently I’ve understood how hard it is to let go of someone you love. I’d hate for you to exist without Youngjae. If you two are in love then go for it.” Jinyoung smiles and Jaebeom does the same; slowly and cautiously at first then gradually more confidently as a gleam of hope and optimism unfurl in his chest.

“I was afraid I might never hear you call me your favourite person ever again. I thought I’d never hear you say that you approve of Youngjae.” Jaebeom says, voice shaky with emotion. He tries to mask the fact that he is close to tears with a fake smile but Jinyoung sees the tears shimmering in Jaebeom’s eyes anyway, and he gets a little teary himself knowing how much his friend has been hurting inside.

Giving into the urge to comfort Jaebeom, Jinyoung abandons his seat, rounds Jaebeom’s desk and wraps his arms around him from the side. Jinyoung fondly shakes Jaebeom. “You are making me sad, you big baby.”

Jaebeom keeps his gaze lowered, smiling as joy settles deep in his chest at the feeling of being in Jinyoung’s loving arms again. “Mark and Jackson will come around as well. Just give them a little time.” Jinyoung adds.

“I really hope so.”

“Have a little faith in the love and friendship the four of us have.”

**********

“This sucks. Why do you always have to work on weekends?” Youngjae complains, making a huge show of his revulsion by pouting and scowling at Jaebeom.

Smiling, Jaebeom turns away from the mirror to face Youngjae who has been standing behind him and complaining for past 10 minutes. “I’m only doing a few things today. I’ll be back soon.”

“When is soon?”

“Soon.” Jaebeom repeats just to tease Youngjae and he gets a playful swat on the arm for it. Jaebeom reaches up to place his hands on Youngjae’s cheeks. “I’ll be back in time to go house hunting with you.”

Youngjae slides his arms around Jaebeom’s waist. “does Jinyoung know that you are looking for a place of your own now?”

“I’ll tell him when he comes back from Jeju.”

“Do you think he’ll be okay with you moving out of his apartment?”

“The arrangement was never for me to stay for good.”

Youngjae shrugs. “I don’t know. It seems like you two enjoy living together.”

“It’s a bit uncomfortable when Jackson is visiting, if you know what I mean.” 

“I do know what you mean.” Youngjae wrinkles his nose in the cutest way possible. Jaebeom can’t resist leaning in to kiss his nose. Youngjae giggles and gives Jaebeom’s lips a kiss. “I’m so happy that the two of you made up yesterday.”

“I’m very relieved too.”

“Any hope with Mark hyung?”

Jaebeom shakes his head. “He’s shut me out completely.”

“Jackson hyung?”

“No.”

Youngjae kisses Jaebeom again. “It’ll get better. We’ll get through this.”

********

Jaebeom gets a call from Jinyoung while he’s driving to work.

“hi.” He answers

“Good morning, Jaebeomie. Are you at Youngjae’s?”

“I have to work so I’m on my way to the office.”

Jinyoung snorts. “Poor Youngjae is dating a workaholic.”

A big smile spreads across Jaebeom’s face and God it feels good to be able to smile genuinely again. “You should be on my side.”

“I don’t know. Youngjae is cute. Anyway, can you meet me at my cafe before proceeding to work?”

“What do you need?”

“A conversation. Can you come by?”

“Should I be scared?”

“Just get your butt over here.”

“Alright, alright. Give me a few minutes. I’m already on your route.”

*********

Jaebeom doesn’t expect to find Jackson at Jinyoung’s café. He peers nervously at Jinyoung who is standing next to Jackson in Jinyoung’s office.

“What’s this about?” Jaebeom asks

“I don’t want Jackson bringing any rage and hard feelings on our trip to Jeju, so I want the two of you to kiss and make up.” Jinyoung explains.

Arms crossed against his chest, Jackson looks first at Jinyoung with his a pout on his face and then back at Jaebeom.

“You two can go ahead and take a seat. I’ll go and give Taeil a few final instructions before we leave.” Jinyoung announces and walks out, leaving Jaebeom and Jackson in utter awkward silence.

“I saw your texts.” Jackson starts with a sigh, going to take Jinyoung’s offered seat on the white couch in the corner. Jaebeom follows suit and they sit turned towards each other.

“I truly am sorry about lying to you, Jackson.” Jaebeom says earnestly. “it hurt me every moment I kept that from you. You are my best friend and there is nothing I want more than for you to share in the joy that I’ve finally found true love.”

“True love huh.” Jackson chuckles. “Remember how we always talked about what guy on earth could possibly handle a cheesy, lazy guy like you? I can’t believe we had that person right there with us all along.”

“Me either.” Jaebeom bashfully admits. “I mean I liked Youngjae but I never imagined that I’d fall this hard for him.”

Jackson pats Jaebeom on the back. “That’s good for you, man. I’m happy that you are happy.”

Jaebeom regards Jackson seriously. “are you really, all things considered?”

“Yeah. I mean for obvious reasons I’d have liked you to fall for someone different, but the important things are love and happiness. I have no right to tell you who to love and who not to love. I of all people should understand what it’s like to be in a supposedly wrong relationship. A lot of my friends in Hong Kong think I’m better off dating someone from there.”

This is the first time in a long time that Jackson is opening up to Jaebeom about his relationship with Jinyoung and it’s definitely welcome. Jaebeom has really missed talking candidly with Jackson. “Long distance relationships are tough. How are you and Jinyoung really doing?”

“We are trying to do better than before. I really don’t want to give up on what we have.”

“Don’t. It’s a beautiful thing. Jinyoung really loves you. He suffered a lot recently when he thought a breakup between you two was inevitable.”

“I know and I really wanted to be there for him, reassuring him but I couldn’t and it killed me knowing that you were here with him when I couldn’t. Jinyoung doesn’t know this and I’d appreciate it if you keep it between us; a few days ago when I found out that you had romantic feelings for Youngjae back in school while he belonged to your friend, my anger drove me into thinking that you could take Jinyoung from me over here while I’m away in Hong Kong. It didn’t help that I’ve already been feeling jealous of how close you and Jinyoung are, even living together and all.”

“Jinyoung and I are close but we could never be _that_ close. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I know. I’m sorry for getting the wrong idea and for making you out to be the bad girl who goes around stealing his friends’ lovers. We’ve all done stupid shit to each other but I should know by now that both you and Jinyoung would never do something like that to me. On that note, you two better never keep anything from Mark and me.”

“I promise it won’t happen again.”

Jackson smiles with a satisfied look on his face and he pulls Jaebeom into one of his huge bear hugs. It’s stifling as always but Jaebeom welcomes it this time albeit giggling about how uncomfortable it is. Jackson burst into laughter as well, now just cuddling Jaebeom on purpose to annoy him.

Eventually Jaebeom manages free himself from the “assault” and Jack says, “I hope you and Mark can work things out too so that we all get past this.”

“I’ll keep trying to reach out to him. Speaking of Jinyoung and I living together, I’m moving out soon. Youngjae and I are going house hunting this afternoon.”

Jackson’s smile slips. “I hope it’s not because of what I just told you.”

“Honestly it’s part of it but only a tiny part. Honestly if I were you I would also dislike the living arrangement Jinyoung and I have going on. Apart from that, I my plan was never to stay with him forever. It’s time to find a place of my own, a place where I can comfortably invite my boyfriend to stay over.”

Jackson nods, “I get that. Good luck hunting. Perhaps-” he gets cut off by Jinyoung who suddenly walks back into the room.

“I’m all done and ready to leave. I hope you idiots have made up.”

Jackson takes the opportunity to pull Jaebeom into yet another bear hug, much to Jaebeom’s chagrin. “Yes we made up.” Jackson declares.

Jinyoung smiles fondly, looking at them.

********

Youngjae picks Jaebeom up from his office. They plan to have lunch and then start the house hunting.

“Ryeowook told me that his new boyfriend is a realtor and that I could call upon him if I need any help. Is it okay if I enlist his boyfriend’s help to help us find a nice place?” Jaebeom asks while he is packing up

Youngjae twists his lips in thought. “I guess its fine. Whatever makes this easier for us.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Mostly Youngjae just appreciates that Jaebeom is asking first.

Jaebeom’s phone starts ringing on his desk and he picks it up, eyes widening when he sees who is calling.

Mark.

Jaebeom swallows thickly and looks at Youngjae. “It’s Mark.” He mutters

Youngjae’s eyes widen as well and they just look nervously at each other for a little while before Jaebeom takes a deep breath and answers the call.

“Where are you? Can we talk?” Mark asks

“I’m at the office right now about to go for lunch.”

“Text me the place. We can eat together.”

Jaebeom chews on his lower lip as his heart starts thudding in his chest because he’s of afraid of how Mark will react to what he’s about to say next. “Youngjae is with me.”

The line falls silent for a short moment

“Cool. Let’s all eat together.

*********

To say Youngjae and Jaebeom are nervous at lunch with Mark doesn’t even begin to capture it. To make matters worse, Mark’s face isn’t giving any inclination as to what he is thinking. Youngjae and Jaebeom sitting in one booth across Mark and they’ve all ordered their food. Mark suggests they order first then talk. Youngjae can only hope he and Jaebeom will be able to swallow their food.

Jaebeom gently clears his throat gently and asks Mark, “What do you want to talk about?”

Mark considers Youngjae and Jaebeom, the way they are sitting close together and eyeing him nervously. He is suddenly hit with how intimate and comfortable they look together already. He wonders how he never noticed before how similar they have always been to each other, how like-minded and companionable they are compared to how he himself was with Youngjae when they dated.

They always did like the same stuff, they sort of dress the same, only Youngjae understood Jaebeom’s weird humour back in school; and even just looking at them now, anyone can tell instantly tell they are a couple.

Youngjae has always been Jaebeom’s. It’s a bit of a tough pill to swallow for Mark but it is time to swallow it and move on. He has no power or right to stand in the way of a love that’s so fitting.

“I wanted to tell the two of you that it’s okay if you date.”

Jaebeom and Youngjae share a surprise look before turning their wide-eyed gazes back to Mark.

“Really?” Youngjae asks.

Mark nods. “Have you two seen yourselves? How the hell could anyone possibly stay mad at merely a couple of idiots in love?”

A blush rises to Youngjae’s cheeks and he peers briefly at Jaebeom under his lashes.

Mark continues. “Yes it’s messed up that my friend is now dating my ex, but my new boyfriend helped me accept that these things happen and that there are bigger problems in the world than this. Seeing you two together now makes me realise that you two have always been a good fit.”

“I really loved you, Mark.” Youngjae feels the need to emphasise, because he really did love Mark.

“I know.” Mark finally cracks a small smile for the first time since he walked into the restaurant. “I loved you too and I’ve never wanted anything more for you than to be happy. That’s why what’s important here is that your new boyfriend is a good man.” Mark’s gaze slides to Jaebeom. “You are both good people who deserve happiness and I’m glad you’ve found it despite the circumstances.”

A rush of warmth flood through Jaebeom and he cracks a smile as well. “Thank you. I really appreciate you saying that. Are you really okay with us dating?”

Mark shrugs. “It’s not that bad if I don’t see you two kissing or anything worse. I’d just like to get my best friend back and focus on my own romantic relationship.”

Youngjae smiles brightly, so awash with relief. After months of fearing that he would never see the day when he’ll be free to love Jaebeom, the moment feels like a dream. He’s so happy he could almost cry. Jaebeom reaches for his hand under the table and he holds it tight.

They look at each other wearing impossibly wide smiles on their faces. Unfortunately Mark just ordered them never to kiss in front of him or Youngjae would be in Jaebeom’s lap right now kissing him and breaking some public decency laws. Reading Jaebeom’s eyes, Youngjae can tell he has similar thoughts. Also swimming in Jaebeom’s eyes are romantic and naughty promises of the things they will be doing later.

Youngjae can’t wait.

“I love you.” Jaebeom mouths to Youngjae

“I love you too.”Youngjae replies

Mark rolls his eyes. “Oh God, I can tell you two are dying to kiss or whatever.” He jokingly gripes. “Let’s eat so that you can go do that elsewhere.” Still, he has to admit to himself that he’s done a beautiful thing here today. It feels unexpectedly great to see Jaebeom and Youngjae so happy like this. He hopes they’ll stay this way for a long time.

Jaebeom and Youngjae look away from each other with shy smiles on their faces. “Thank you for forgiveness and understanding.” Jaebeom says to Mark.

“You are not a bad person. I’m sorry I forgot that.”

“It’s okay.”

“If you two aren’t busy ding disgusting things to each other tomorrow, I’d like you to come to my place and meet my new boyfriend. I invited Jinyoung and Jackson too.”

“Won’t it be uncomfortable for you with me there?” Youngjae asks.

“If you are not, I’m not. I promise not to make a habit of hanging out with both you and him. I just want you to meet him since he’ll be spending time around Coco.”

Youngjae smiles. “Sure. I’ll be happy to. Can I ask you a favour though?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“May I kiss my boyfriend just once please?”

Mark groans and looks away dramatically even though there is a fond smile on his lips. “Go ahead but only this once until I leave.”

Jaebeom grins, draws Youngjae into his arms and kisses him fervently on the lips, pouring every last drop of love he has for Youngjae into it, and silently telling him that he’ll never let him go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. as always i truly truly appreciate your support


End file.
